[gamer1986]

Me and this girl have been dating for about 13 months, and about 2 weeks ago she said that she was feeling overwhelmed with school and work that she needs some space and a break from us. She is going to school to get her Bachelor's Degree in Nursing, and is working as a nurse 3 days a week 12 hour shifts, and I am also in school [this is both our last quarters]. She is also going to school three days a week, as am I. I understand that work and school is getting to her, she is taking some hard classes and work has always stressed her out pretty much.

When it was first brought up, she said that we had been argueing a lot because of how stressed out she would be and she didn't want to take it out on me. Later, she said that she has lost touch with herself, and that she needs to find out who she is again. I straight asked her if their would be a place for me come December, that's when we were planning on getting back together, and she said she didn't know. She says she loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me... but I just don't know whether to wait or not. The sucky thing about it is, she did this 2 weeks before my birthday and 1 week before our anniversary, even though we still said happy anniversary to each other, and she is still planning on coming to my birthday. We still have plans to hang out later this month and too see each other, she just wants her space. I should add that we usually spent about every weekend together, and that from my hometown, I am about 60 miles away, when I was at school I was pretty close to 80-90 miles away.

I am just not sure what to do in this situation... I have asked other people's opinions about this and they said to stick around because it doesn't sound like she is over you. I want to believe that with all my heart, but I just don't know what to do about it...

Peace,
gamer1986

[if anyone has questions about anything, I'll be more than happy to answer]

[I wish]

Sounds like you suffocated her while you were together. You seem like you have a needy personality, where you constantly want her attention. You're somewhat long distance, so it's easy to give each other space. The first step is for you to understand that she busy and needs her time and space. So you have to give that to her. Back off and let her do her thing.

Secondly, the fact that she asked for a break is not because of school or work. It's because of you. You need to change your attitude towards her. When you argue, do you listen to what she says and what she wants? I'm sure she's told you what she wanted but you just can't seem to respect her. I'm guessing it's somewhere along the lines of: "You wish you can spend more time with her, but she's too busy for you, so you get angry, and she feels like you can't respect the fact that she's busy. So because you can't even do something so small, how can she expect you to do something bigger."

Spend this time apart trying to remember what she said to you. Then you will have a better understanding of why you're on a break.

This is going to be a slow process to mend the relationship, and that's only if she's going to give you a chance. But I strongly suggest that you work on yourself before you worry about her.

[s_cianci]

Give her the space she says she needs. She is either unsure of her stand with you right now or she is trying to let you down easy. Not to be a naysayer but I'd place my money on the "trying to let you down easy" option. I'd take this one as being over, at least for now, and move on with your life. Maybe your paths will cross again someday, maybe they won't ; nobody can really predict that. But it's not fair to you to spend months or years waiting on her.