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    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #61

    Sep 27, 2009, 09:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLeefreak View Post
    Sure let's do it! What did you have in mind?
    Just something with short lines for the verses so that you can learn how to balance within a verse better.

    Who is someone in your life with whom you really like to do fun things together, please?

    Thanks!
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #62

    Sep 28, 2009, 11:28 AM

    My friend Emily. To help you out we like to joke around and we can tell each other anything.
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
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    #63

    Sep 29, 2009, 06:04 PM

    Sparkling lights of joy and love
    Drawl us closer to Chrismas day
    We all dream in silence
    Snow converts the earth
    As an ice blancet to numb
    The burning core
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #64

    Sep 29, 2009, 07:02 PM

    Our world changes day to day
    When night paints the sky black
    When we lose a life to heavans shining light
    Or as snow fills the earth with a bitter chill
    We dream to see what lies before us
    A world of shadow and mystery
    To let them hold on to our love before they leave
    Or to open our eyes to a cold but, new day
    I'll always want to say
    That each day is the same
    But, deep down I know that you'll find something
    If you look deep
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
    Uber Member
    		  
    #65

    Sep 30, 2009, 12:27 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLeefreak View Post
    My friend Emily. To help you out we like to joke around and we can tell each other anything.
    My Friend, Emily

    Emily is my friend
    We share a lot together.
    How's that for a start? Would you please continue?

    Thanks!
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
    Uber Member
    		  
    #66

    Sep 30, 2009, 12:29 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLeefreak View Post
    Sparkling lights of joy and love
    Draw us closer to Chrismas day
    We all dream in silence
    Snow converts the earth
    As an ice blancet to numb
    The burning core
    Hey, AmyLeefreak!

    I really like that! It's cool! :D

    Thanks!
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #67

    Sep 30, 2009, 12:20 PM

    Thanks!
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #68

    Sep 30, 2009, 12:42 PM

    Though were different
    We can't be apart
    We've been through drama and lies
    But, the laughter meands my broken heart
    I will never trust anyone else
    My secrets are her's

    Sorry if it sounds to corny; let me know what you think and I'll work on it
    Rocker Jack V's Avatar
    Rocker Jack V Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #69

    Oct 4, 2009, 11:34 AM

    I'm with redhed -- your talent for writing lyrics is impressive. Keep it up!
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #70

    Oct 4, 2009, 11:47 AM
    Gosh, I wish I could sing! I would be singing these things all the time.


    Look at her
    In that broken mirror
    Hidden away
    Becaues we couldn't
    Take more
    Of the lies, the words of hate
    I was never yours
    Oh, but, babe you're my queen
    Of this kingdom built on dispise
    I never said yes
    You'll never take it
    So I guess this means
    That your up for the ride

    Your nothing without me
    (don't try to run again)
    I've seen evreything
    (don't try to hide away)
    You're the one and only
    For my love

    I've been through the heart break
    Lack of dovion
    No one there to catch me
    But, if I fall
    That's my place
    Down below
    I never said yes
    You'll never take it
    So I guess this means
    That your up for the ride

    Your nothing without me
    (don't try to run again)
    I've seen evreything
    (don't try to hide away)
    You're the one and only
    For my love

    (I only live for you
    I'd even die for you
    And if it takes forever to have you
    Then I'll be here waiting)
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #71

    Oct 6, 2009, 01:41 PM

    Don't try to save me
    I'll find my way out
    You'll see who I can be
    Never thought of the world
    As a place to fear
    Who am I?
    To say I've fallen down
    And you'll never
    Have to cry again
    Becaues I'll lead us out
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #72

    Oct 6, 2009, 06:26 PM

    Night fills the sky with darkness
    We can't hear your screams of fear
    No light to allow your escape
    Forever you'll be with me
    In this madness
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #73

    Oct 6, 2009, 07:06 PM

    Tell me how I cannot see
    What lies deep inside of me
    You've heard the screams
    I've watched her bleed
    And you say I can't be her anymore
    Without even knowing

    Laying low
    She pleads for my acceptance
    Never to know
    She'll never break free
    From the darkness

    No! It cannot be
    I won't beleave in what I'm seeing
    Slowley I'm slipping into another mind
    Drifting away from life
    No! It cannot be

    Gently my world twist
    I'm seeing evreything
    Looking past the lace
    I see their lies
    Maddness and betrayal
    Burning into my core
    This cannot be

    Laying low
    She pleads for my acceptance
    Never to know
    She'll never break free
    From the darkness

    No! It cannot be
    I won't believe in what I'm seeing
    Slowley I'm slipping onto another mind
    Drifting away from life
    No! It cannot be

    Trapped behinde cold, dead eyes
    My life lies in the night
    No! This cannot be me
    (Breaking free
    She is unleashed
    Takeing over me
    Hides in my mind
    No more real life
    This cannot be)
    summer7's Avatar
    summer7 Posts: 344, Reputation: 44
    Full Member
    		  
    #74

    Oct 7, 2009, 10:19 PM
    Hi,
    I really like your song! I don't have any critique for you. I do have a cool tip for you for future songs, though.

    Check out this link below. It is a free online "rhyming" dictionary. This is an exciting "tool" for writing songs and poetry when you are in need of words that rhyme.

    Click here: FREE Online Rhyming Dictionary

    Have fun... ;):):D!!!
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #75

    Oct 8, 2009, 02:39 PM

    Wow that's awsome! Thank you.
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #76

    Oct 8, 2009, 03:09 PM

    Don't try to scream, don't try to break through
    He'll only believe in what he sees
    Breaking out, falling down, and bleeding dry
    And to think, I thought I'd reach the top
    But, now I've found
    That I've lost again
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #77

    Oct 8, 2009, 03:24 PM
    It's all true
    I'm about to break
    But, now that your gone
    I'm a little unsure
    Maybe it's in my mind
    Breaking free to take over our lifes
    Maybe it's in my mind
    Here to take over all of me

    Don't try to run from me
    It's in your eyes
    You're my sacrifice
    Don't try to hide away
    Your all mine
    You're my sacrifice

    Alone you'll be
    Sitting in the dark
    Wondering about me
    Takeing chances
    You always said
    That I was never worth it
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #78

    Oct 8, 2009, 05:37 PM

    If your going down
    Then take me with you
    If your going to scream
    Let yourself be heard
    But if your going to take my world away
    Then you better leave

    Not afraid to live my life
    And I know I'll never reach the sky
    But, not going to let you
    Change my mind
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #79

    Oct 9, 2009, 07:19 PM

    Do you remember me?
    Becaues I still remember you
    I'm feeling so alone now
    I believed in you
    Where has are love gone?
    Stolen away becaues we were so young
    I simply cry myself to sleep at night
    What else could I do?
    I'm so lost without you
    AmyLeefreak's Avatar
    AmyLeefreak Posts: 69, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #80

    Oct 10, 2009, 11:20 AM

    How long will it be?
    Before you see me
    Not what they tell you
    Just simply the truth
    I never said that I was down again
    They think I don't know but I see them laughing
    How about one more day?
    Trapped alone in this place
    Just one more lie
    No more saddness

    It will not be long
    Before all is lost
    I mean, what would you do?
    If I were not there with you
    Just one more day
    No turning back now
    Life is all about takeing chances
    No backing out

    Sacrifice
    You really had me
    Falling down
    But I caught myself
    Sacrifice
    Your all mine now
    It's burning in your eyes
    The truth still lies
    I knew that there was something about you
    And now I see, that you loved me

    Now that your gone
    I will never hear the words
    Now that your under
    Lost forever
    I will always be lost here
    Never to recover

    Just when I thouht I had it all
    Somehow, you put me down
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