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catrinbee · Sep 24, 2009, 12:21 PM

My duaghter is 18 and the father is 17... he comes and visits about once a month and the baby screams unmagaebly he wants to take her away from here is he allowed? Nothing has been established through the courts and he's not on the birth certificate. Although we have done a perternity test.

justcurious55 · Sep 24, 2009, 12:33 PM

He would have to go through the courts and establish paternity before he could even have a shot at taking away custody. And even then, with paternity established, he would have to prove that the mother was unfit and that it was in the child's best interest to live with him. Seeing as babies tend to cry until they're able to learn other ways of communicating their needs, that doesn't seem like enough to prove any parent unfit, as long as the baby isn't crying because it's being completely neglected. When my little cousin was just a few months old she would cry and cry for hours. Her parent's were at their wits ends. They had changed her, fed her, burped her, rocked her, and she still just wouldn't stop until she was good and ready to. It happens.

catrinbee · Sep 24, 2009, 12:52 PM

No what I mean is when he visits and he holds her she screams. He gives her back to me or my daughter to calm her down which takes about 15 minutes then he'll take her again once she's OK and quiet or smiling and it starts all over again. Sometimes when he hands her back she stops instanly. I can't even explain it has been like this since she was born and only with him... its weird. But he's not trying to get custody of her he just wants to leave with her he thinks this will stop her crying. I disagree. She needs to get used to him. And once a month isn't going to work. She is a very happy baby otherwise. Hardly ever cries it just scares me to have him take her and not be able to comfort her . He doesn't here he speaks harshly to her and tells her to stop he is her dad. It only makes her cry worse.

catrinbee · Sep 24, 2009, 12:56 PM

And he wants her over night. I think that's not good at all. So because he is a minor and is not on the birth certificate he said his mom can come take her for him. I've contacted a lawyer and he said this is not true. He has no rights as of right now he doesn't pay anything and only helps when its okay for him. I like him but I don't want her to be somewhere she fears and can even speak...

justcurious55 · Sep 24, 2009, 04:55 PM

Oh. I'm sorry. I completely misinterpreted your first post. The lawyer is correct, he has no rights until it is established that he is in fact the father. He has to go through court for that. So until he decides to do that he has no more rights than your daughter decides to allow him. It's up to her whether he can leave with the baby and whether he can have overnights. His mother has no say or control in it. She has the same rights, or lack of, as any other grandparent.
How does your daughter feel about him coming around more often? I agree with you, once a month is not enough for the baby to get to know him. But ultimately, until he goes to court to establish his rights, it's up to your daughter. Unless your daughter decides to take him to court for child support. Paternity would have to be established before support could be ordered. And then it will be up to the court to determine when he is allowed visitation, and if he needs to begin with some sort of supervised visitation. Assuming he asks for more visitation of course.