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me9 · Sep 22, 2009, 11:43 PM

Hello! Its been more than an year we got married. I joined my husband after getting married in entirely new country in a different environment. I have started my job in this country. My husband has many female friends who are also his co-workers. He is so close to his friends that some times this friendship creates problems in their professional lives. One of his female friend junior staff who helps him a lot in his work is very close to him. And I am well aware about this but some times it becomes suspecious when he calls her from home and never talks with her my presence. Either he makes a lame excuse and leaves the room and make a call as if I am fool or Calls her in my absence and when I suddenly appears he excuse from me and talks with her. Further, whenever he sends her an SMS he deletes it from SENT messages. He knows that I uses his phone and sometimes reading his messages.

My question is if she is only her good friend then Why he puts me in suspicious positions. We shares each and everything with each other. Shall I ask him why he does this? Please suggest something which won't effect our Trust and wonderful relationship in any way?

Jake2008 · Sep 22, 2009, 11:55 PM

It sounds like everything is new for you; new husband, new job; new country; new home. That is a lot of adjusting to make.

I personally think that co-workers should leave their co-workers at work, and stop with the texts and calls when the day ends.

If they are friends outside the job, then they should be introduced to you, along with their husbands, and boyfriends.

Your husband is going to have to make some adjustments to make you feel comfortable. He should introduce his friends, and his workplace to you. Maybe he had more time before you arrived, and more freedom to develop friendships.

But, now that you are married, he needs to work a little harder to have you introduced to these people, as his wife.

me9 · Sep 23, 2009, 12:05 AM

Dear Jake,

My husband did introduce all his friends and his families. None of them are married. Knowing very well about them he still avoid talking with one of his close friend in front of me. He told earlier that they are like his sisters and very good friends then why he doenst feel comfortable while talking in my presence, not all, but only the one who is his assistant too. He never deletes SMS or messages of other two friends but he explicitly deletes only hers'. I don't know why?