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Pattypatpat · Sep 19, 2009, 07:48 AM

Like many of you out there, my ex-girlfriend was my best friend. She is the keeper of my most precious secrets and knows me better than anyone else. We've known each other since high school and before we went out she was my best friend. I was always the lone wolf kind of guy who had "friends", but didn't actually make myself vulnerable around them. I would never talk about my feelings or relationship with them or anything. My ex was the only one I could talk to about them. We started dating in high school and continued dating through the past 2 years of college. After she left me I really hit bottom and (as sad as I am to say it) needed a friend that didn't exist. I would sit in my room not going to my classes for days in the corner of my bed just needing human attention.

It's been a month now and as much as I try and move on I can't. I am really shy and timid around new people and, as much as I would like to make new friends to hang out with, sadly I can't. The more I try, the more I come to realize that she was the only true friend I had.

We have begun talking recently. She says that she is worried about me. Even now I feel like if we can't date, I still want to confide in her. I know 'no contact' is the best route to getting over your ex, but what do you do if that's the only person you have in your life?

jimseekinadvice · Sep 19, 2009, 08:03 AM

You change your way of thinking. Do things that you would not normally do (take dancing classes, go climb a mountain, join a rec team etc). Make it a goal to talk to one new person a day. Believe that one person is not everything. Last of all, love yourself, be OK doing things alone as well.

I wish · Sep 19, 2009, 08:06 AM

You can't heal from a breakup by sitting in the corner crying. You got to pick yourself up and get out there. Here's a list of things to do after a breakup: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html

How many of them have you actually tried? If you don't take a proactive approach in healing from the breakup, you're just going to prolong the pain and suffering; thus, dragging out the recovery process. You're single now. Go out and have fun!

Continue with the no contact, because if you talk to her, it will only confuse you more and prolong the suffering. Check out this sticky: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html

redhed35 · Sep 19, 2009, 08:07 AM

But you also have you...

You can stand on your own.

She WAS your confident,now she is a concerned ex.
Staying in your room dreaming about the past and wondering what ifs is not going to change your life...

Get up!

Get out!

As hard as it is if you need human contact you need to meet people,join clubs,pursue a hobbie,stop feeling sorry for self and stop with the poor me's...

Change your like,live your life and let your ex live hers to without worrying what's happening to you,I'm not saying you are,but don't use emotional blackmail to bring her back into your life...

talaniman · Sep 19, 2009, 09:03 AM

but what do you do if that's the only person you have in your life?

Then you get a life that you enjoy with people, and activities that make you happy, and not isolate yourself from life, and sit on the pity pot feeling sorry for yourself. That has never worked for any one I know.