[General Griff]

This is going to be a little long but anyway I have had a long distance girlfriend for two years now it's embarrassing but I don't care. Within the years I think she has cheated on me I actually have proof but to be honest at that time we were pretty much broke up after a heated argument. Anyway after about those five months of being separated we got back together and we started calling and sending gifts & things, well I sent gifts. The guy I know she dated she dated even before we were together. I didn't trust the guy. Anyway recently over the summer I went up to where she lived to finally got to see her. She's the exact opposite of me but I loved her. I was such a gentlemen while I was up there, you'd think I was brainwashed, eventually I took the first few steps and started holding hands than kissing. It went really well for a while than she told her mom something and her mom explained it to me that I was too close with her, that her daughter didn't always like being close like having an arm around her but her mom said kissing was fine. So I thought it had to do with her dad leaving her at a young age and she has close issues & she's poor and all that she doesn't live in a very good environment so I expected issues. But I tried to ease off. We did all these things while I was up there and at the end she really seemed to enjoy it, total I spent $560 on the trip out of my 15 year old pocket. When I left I pretty much started sobbing on the plane the stewardest even asked me if I was OK.

Anyway I really missed her after I got home and I waited to call her but I was really busy with getting ready for school. Then the day I was going to call I got a message in my Facebook mailbox saying "I don't think we should consider us boyfriend and girlfriend anymore." Then over the course of a few days I sent messages trying to find the truth even though she said she never lie to me. She really seemed like she didn't care in the messages when I asked for a phone call she said she lost the phone. Eventually after sobbing ten times worse every day my best friend Matt looked at the messages and encouraged me to write a message back saying I was through with her bs and everything. In the end she never messaged me back and took me off her friends list and contacts & everything. She changed her bio took me out of her best friends & at the very end it said P.S. "I love you Brendan" the guy she dated, by the way I forgot to mention I know the guy very well and he pulled this really nasty prank on her made her cry, and he doesn't even like her he just likes pulling pranks, so I don't get it. All I know is I'm trying to get over it and all I can do is write depressing songs and I keep having these nightmares is driving me insane!! HELP!!


PLEASE READ EVERYTHING, I KNOW IT'S A LOT.

[amicon]

Im sorry you re feeling so down in the dumps its normal after a breakup.
Writing songs therapy so that's good.Try to see that you ve had a lucky escape and even though you may not believe this now you ll love again.Keep busy see friends go to the gym-do all those things that you enjoy doing.Read the stickies at the top of the page.There s loads of good advice there.Wishing you well.

[I wish]

Welcome to AMHD Griff. By reading your post, I think it's fair that I warn you that my advice is going to be harsh.

First of all, I understand that you have very deep feelings for this girl. I understand that long distance relationships are extra tough and it requires the effort of both people involved.

However, you're in a state of denial. She's made it pretty clear to you that she doesn't want to talk to you anymore. She's helping you get over her by not contacting you and not responding to your attempts at contacting her. You have the hints. She wants to be left alone. If you keep trying to talk to her, then it will give her more pressure and it will only push her away even more.

As for the ex boyfriend playing a prank on her. That's their problem. It's not your responsibility. I know that you care deeply for this girl and you want to do something about it. But you can only help her if she asks for help. But she clearly doesn't want to communicate with you.

I know that you wish that there was more that you can do. Furthermore, you're still hanging on to the faint hope that she might still have feelings for you. But the fact is, she wants to move on with her life. She feel for another guy. That's already another clear sign that she let you go.

You can continue to grief as long as you want, but when you are ready to accept that she's had a change of heart, then you will start the healing procress. When you start the healing process, you got to do what she did. Block her out of your life entirely. Pretend as if she doesn't exist and put as much distance from her as possible.

I also suggest that you read the stickies to help you cope with the breakup: Relationships - Ask Me Help Desk

[talaniman]

The others are right, its up to you to accept that this is over, and get a life without her. Find a reason to be happy for yourself. Stay off her Facebook!!