Check out some similar questions!

Catsmine · Sep 5, 2009, 05:13 PM

I wonder if she'll come back now that she has all these teeth marks on her butt.

Cat1864 · Sep 7, 2009, 08:10 AM

In hopes that she will be back if only out of curiosity:

Do you know for certain that your grandparents haven't talked to them and they are waiting for you to be a responsible adult and tell them? As a parent that is something I would do.

I am all for allowing my children to show me that my worries and concerns are for naught. That they can stand up for themselves and their beliefs. So far, if my children acted as you are, I would have serious doubts about their being able to handle the situation and would do everything in my power to stop or slow down the wedding. What are the laws about contributing to the delinquency of a minor where you are?

If you are having trouble telling them, think about what that is telling you about your own feelings about getting married so quickly.

brokenbabiie · Sep 8, 2009, 05:15 PM

Nope. My grandparents have not talked to my parents. I know that for a fact.

artlady · Sep 8, 2009, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by brokenbabiie

Nope. My grandparents have not talked to my parents. I know that for a fact.

Grandparents can be very nice and they also can be very uninformed and out of touch.

Cat1864 · Sep 8, 2009, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by brokenbabiie

Nope. My grandparents have not talked to my parents. I know that for a fact.

Isn't it amazing how much you know to be fact today? I wonder what you will learn tomorrow.

Just a small question: Who first brought up getting married in October?

Please pass my sincerest wishes for a happy life on to your betrothed. I get the feeling he's going to need them.

artlady · Sep 8, 2009, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Isn't it amazing how much you know to be fact today? I wonder what you will learn tomorrow.

Just a small question: Who first brought up getting married in October?

Please pass my sincerest wishes for a happy life on to your betrothed. I get the feeling he's going to need them.

Can't rep but you do tell it like it is!
Good question and this girl has to stand up.

brokenbabiie · Sep 8, 2009, 08:49 PM

My fiancé did, thanks. :) We were talking about doing it later down the line, in about a year, but he will probably deploy to the Middle East sometime in the next 6 months to a year, so I'd rather get all the time in with him that I can before he's gone again; As HUSBAND and WIFE. I understand that some of you people have your views and I have another view. I'm doing the right thing by marrying him, in my opinion, and if my parents don't approve of it, so be it. The negative things that you're saying doesn't change my mind. You think I'm naïve, fine. I honestly don't care. Also, hypothetically, if I do get a divorce? That's going to be my problem. I'll be the one suffering from it, nobody else. So thanks for the callous comments. I really appreciate it.

Cat1864 · Sep 8, 2009, 09:50 PM

It is obvious that you care only for what you want and desire.

Have you thought about what you are going to do while he is deployed? Have you thought about how you are going to handle the loneliness? Have you thought about what happens if you get pregnant? Are you ready to be a single mother which is what you will be when he is deployed?

Marriage is more than playing snuggle bunnies for six months. Also, there is a world of difference between dating and marriage.

Last piece of advice that you probably won't take (please don't tell me, I know it sounds like an Alanis Morissette song), when you finally do tell your parents stay calm. Use what has been written here as a study guide to have your arguments ready. Don't use the phrase "I am doing it and I don't care what you say!" It sounds like a 5 year old-a bratty one at that. You will need their emotional and mental (if not financial) support in the future. Remember that they love you and that a lot of what they might say will be out of fear.

brokenbabiie · Sep 8, 2009, 10:58 PM

I do know what I plan on doing during his deployment. We've talked it through completely. And I'd appreciate it if you (and anyone else) didn't build up some idea that I only care about my wants and desires. (I am not saying this in a bi*chy way) but you don't know me, and don't know the things I've been through to get where I am today. I am capable of staying calm, and I'm not going to answer any of their questions with "I am doing it and I don't care what you say". Again. Thanks for the advice.

smoothy · Sep 9, 2009, 05:09 AM

I see kids and welfare at OUR expense in her future.

There is NO possible way a girl... and yes I did mean girl can possibly have thought this out and planned things out.

Sorry, but nobody, male or female who still lives home with mom and dad can do that. They lack actual life experience, and respionsibility that you can only gain living on your own, paying your own bills, living within your means. And to do this before a spouse and children which follow very soon with people in such a rush.

And from first hand experience... low ranking military people in general, do not have much responsibility in that area either.

And yes... I can say I know you and your type far better than you even know yourself. I've known and dated many females EXACTLY like you in the past.

Lets just say, not ONE that I knew back then was still with that man, was still married, or even think they made the right decision... most had kids that no longer even see their natural father some are on their 2nd or 3rd... "Right man" and a few never learned their lesson, convinced they are the only ones that know how to pick them even after several divorces haven't taught them reality dictates otherwise.

Marriage isn't something you JUMP into... and that's exactly what you are doing. I know people that take more time deciding what car to buy than you have taken about getting married, and I'm one of those.

Funny how your average kid still living at home at mom and dads expense thinks they alone have all the answers to life, love and everything just because they attended high school.

Fact is they know NOTHING about any of the above topics.(they only THINK they do)... and they will learn that their first 5 years of having to support themselves, pay the rent, bills and everything WITHOUT the help of mom and dad. And they know even less about love. And nothing about getting married.

Here is a prime example what's wrong with having to have a license to drive a car, but they let any fool get married and have kids without any practical training or experience.

talaniman · Sep 9, 2009, 06:27 AM

Even though most of us think it better if you go slow, and build a solid foundation for yourself, (education, work, career) before you make a life changing decision, the key questions are, why you haven't told your parents, and how to tell them. Since everyone else knows, why are they the last?

Keep it simple, sit them down, and tell them. The sooner, the better.

smoothy · Sep 9, 2009, 07:22 AM

SHE doesn't care about anything... SHE only cares about what SHE wants right now.

SHE doesn't have a clue about living on her own yet, but SHE knows it has to be with him, and it has to be right now.

Is there any possible way to prevent her from ever collecting welfare or food stamps in the future? Because I for one am sick and tired of MY tax dollars going to support people like this after they have half a dozen kids, can't even hold a job down flipping hamburgers because they know more than the manager or anyone else. Because they were lead to believe that the world revolves around them growing up.

hheath541 · Sep 9, 2009, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

SHE doesn't care about anything....SHE only cares about what SHE wants right now.

SHE doesn't have a clue about living on her own yet, but SHE knows it has to be with him, and it has to be right now.

Is there any possible way to prevent her from ever collecting welfare or food stamps in the future? Because I for one am sick and tired of MY tax dollars going to support people like this after they have half a dozen kids, can't even hold a job down flipping hamburgers because they know more than the manager or anyone else. Because they were lead to believe that the world revolves around them growing up.

That is the education systems fault. They are teaching kids that no matter how badly they screw up they will get a second chance. There are school systems that don't give failing grades, even if all you did was put your name at the top of the paper, because it might emotionally damage the students and convince them that they're losers. Schools refrain from punishing bad behavior because it singles out kids and makes them feel bad about themselves.

This country is doing everything within it's power to protect children from emotional pain. While they may be accomplishing that (which I highly doubt), they are really just producing an entire generation who graduates high school with no way of surviving the real world.

It is expected for them to go from a school where they get a second chance at everything and they are treated like the most fragile china, to a college or work environment where if they do something wrong they get punished, failed, or fired. There is an entire generation of children graduating with no skills to survive in the real world, and they are expected not only to survive, but to thrive.

Sadly, this girl is a typical example of what society is doing to it's children. Everything has been handed to her up to this point, so she sees no reason why it should keep happening.

smoothy · Sep 9, 2009, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by hheath541

that is the education systems fault. they are teaching kids that no matter how badly they screw up they will get a second chance. there are school systems that don't give failing grades, even if all you did was put your name at the top of the paper, because it might emotionally damage the students and convince them that they're losers. schools refrain from punishing bad behavior because it singles out kids and makes them feel bad about themselves.

this country is doing everything within it's power to protect children from emotional pain. while they may be accomplishing that (which i highly doubt), they are really just producing an entire generation who graduates high school with no way of surviving the real world.

it is expected for them to go from a school where they get a second chance at everything and they are treated like the most fragile china, to a college or work environment where if they do something wrong they get punished, failed, or fired. there is an entire generation of children graduating with no skills to survive in the real world, and they are expected not only to survive, but to thrive.

sadly, this girl is a typical example of what society is doing to it's children. everything has been handed to her up to this point, so she sees no reason why it should keep happening.

Yeah.. the education system is a big player in the PC crap the last 30 years... but all too many parents share in the blame too by not teaching responsibility growing up. And it should start at a young age, chores cleaning the room, etc, increasing as they get older. At least they would be partially prepared for life when the time comes instead of completely oblivious and closed minded to everything that's not within their razor thin perspective of reality.

We've given her every real and valid reason to wait... but SHE thinks she has it all figured out and the rest of us who have lived through it don't know anything.

I may sound harsh... but I do hope she takes our advice and waits before she makes a very costly mistake... both emotionally and monitarily.

She forfits any right to complain in the future about anything if she goes ahead anyway and does the stupid thing...

Marriage is NOT something to be treated as casually as she is treating it. This isn't lunch.. this is life.

talaniman · Sep 9, 2009, 08:59 AM

I think her motives are she wants to get out of the house, and marriage is her ticket out.

smoothy · Sep 9, 2009, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I think her motives are she wants to get out of the house, and marriage is her ticket out.

I do too... but she has no clue what marriage is and why nobody should jump into it. I guarantee you, she will be divorced in short order... Either because she was sleeping around on him while he is deployed.. or because after the deployment he relizes he doesn't want her anymore because she lacks real maturity. Something that will become painfully apparent to him after the hardships of being in a war zone. Nothing will get rid of the little boy in him faster than that.

But then, what do we know? After all I've been married longer than she's been outside of her mothers womb... what do I know anyway, she at 17 not even 18 knows everything there is to know about everything. She told us so.