[angelbaby93]

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost five months and he is on the high school wrestling team and on the football team and we only see each other during shop class in school and sometimes in the morning when we walk to school together and sometimes on the weekend we hang out but its not even for that long and we only hang out when my mother is off work cause my uncle who is also my step dad basically is blind and has dialysis and I have to watch my sisters while my moms at work and while he's gone half the time. I have become very depressed lately and I just think that there's no hope for me. I often wish I was dead and think that I'm crazy and sometimes I don't feel like myself. I don't even know who I am anymore. I just feel so empty lately and I don't know what to do. Im always getting in trouble and being stressed out. The reasons I'm in trouble is because I have two sisters, ages 11 and 15 and sometimes they act like my best friend and then other times they cause me so much trouble. My 11 year old sister dresses like a tramp, excuse my language and I try to explain to her that my best friend dresses like that and my best friend has also had sex with a lot of guys, protected and unprotected and she always thinks she's pregnant I don't want my sister turning out like that and I get into trouble for saying stuff like that. And then I have other stuff like the school year coming up and I'm already stressed out with family issues I try to talk to my mother and uncle but they say that I cause myself this stress.. I really love my boyfriend but when we don't see each other for almost a week or barely talk I feel so distant. I mean we really don't talk that much since he has football and sometimes he ends up falling asleep on me when we text each other and when I don't have txting and he calls me I am not allowed on the phone for more than an hour. He doesn't get done football until eight o clock at night and I can't really talk to him until 8:30 and then I have to get off at 9:00. I'm just very stressed out about life itself and I don't know what to do anymore. I really think I need some kind of anti depressant or something. What should I do I'm really depressed a lot. I cry more than someone should, I don't like being around people and sometimes when my best friend calls and talks to me I drown her out because I don't want to be bothered with hearing her talk about what guy she's screwing next and I hardly talk to anyone anymore and when I do I'm afraid to tell them how I'm feeling.. I'm sorry about the language.. can someone please tell me what I should do I really don't know what to do I'm so stressed its hard for me to sleep and I have constant headaches and stomachaches because of it

[HelpinHere]

Hmm...
I think you are confusing multiple issues.

You are NOT depressed because of family issues. They may be adding on to it, but these problems are not the reason.

I had a very similar situation to you. A mother who constantly worked (still does) so hardly any time with her, an uncle with diabetes who I had to help care for. A father AND brother who were drug addicts, constantly trying to get me to use.

It's hard, but not depression hard. It's your family, and you love them, and they love you. Your mother is working so hard because she loves you. Don't you like this nice house and cell phone you have, with your computer and unrestricted internet access you have to come onto this site?
Your sister is trying to be a "tramp" because she thinks it's popular. You know that it's stupid, and you are trying to help her. That's love. Your best friend... frankly, you need a better best friend.
(A "tramp", by the way, is a homeless person. I believe you are trying to imply she is dressing like a prostitute.)

I think your biggest concern here (and also the one you talked about the most) is your boyfriend.
Honey, how old are you? I think you need to take a step back and analyze the situation. I don't care what you think, you are too young to love him, and you are only lying to yourself to say you do. You are smart enough to know how dressing like your best friend is completely stupid for your sister, I'm sure you're smart enough to realize you haven't matured enough to know who or what you really "love" now.
If you are young enough to be posting in the teens board, you are too young to know what "true love" is.

I DO think that you really like him, probably more than any other boy you've been with, and you want him.
However, obviously he is too busy for a girlfriend, or a good one anyway.
Again, I ask, how old are you? Seriously, you may be too young to date (for some people), and if you just took a break from guys and focused on yourself, your schoolwork (if it hasn't started yet, it will soon) and you will make yourself a lot happier.
Maybe just take a break, and see your boyfriend again when football season is over, make life much easier for you.

Good luck. I can tell you're smart, and you'll make it out fine.
You don't sound depressed, just stressed.

You're growing up, it's hard, but all of us have done it before, you can too! :)

[little_n_lost]

I totally disagree with Helpinhere for once on these boards. It's my first day on here and I've already lost count of how many people I've posted to.

Hang in there my friend. Depression is hard and trust me anti-depressants can just made things worse. They give you side effects for at least 4 weeks coming on them and then again coming off them, some say they stay in your system 24hrs when actually it's longer and then you have a build up of too much of them and then you get even MORE side effects then you have to switch back and forth from one to the next because you become dependent on them to keep your mood up. Trust me I unfortunately have been there.

I know families are tough I can't imagine being in your shoes as weel I'm not you and every one deals with things differently. Obviously Helpinhere has dealt with a lot of tough times but has got through them OK and is a strong person but we're all different. I ask you as another person deep in depressoin please just keep talking to peapole and don't do anything stupid. Talking helps a lot more in the early stages then it does later on so well done for taking that first hard step and opening it all out there.

Your mum may have a point I know school is stressful but you need to calm down about it it's going to be the same as the year before. Learning at school, learning at home and exams. I know all that is more stressful than I've put it but you need to take a deep breath and think about it. How many years have you already been to school? How many of those years have you stressed out about the next one? And then after the year is done how many times have you thought it's wasn't that bad?

When it comes to your boyfriend you need to sit him down and talk one weekend but try to go out if you can as you don't want anything negative to happen at home else you'll just be making yourself worse being in the place everything went wrong if it does go wrong (which I hope it doesn't). You need to communicate about how you're feeling to him about him and make sure your feelings towards him are reflected back towards you. Ask if he can make more time for you. Athletics is a good hobby but it shouldn't take up all your time especially if you have little time with the person you love anyway.

Try to look ouot for your sister the best you can but at the end of the day she's her own person and she'll take a bad track if she really intends to do so.

I really hope you get things sorted and try not to let your heart rule over your head. Sometimes you need your logic to know when it's time to call things a day if you get what I mean. Take care XxX