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artlady · Sep 3, 2009, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by pixiegurl

If it's in the past why does he still talk about the other girls that he has had sex with? It makes me feel like I have a lot to live up to, and the fact that he says these other girls were hot and pretty makes me feel low.

Tell him how he is making you feel and also tell him that bragging about his sexual conquests is very immature and chauvinistic.
Sounds like he needs to stoke his own ego.

Survivor07 · Sep 3, 2009, 07:35 PM

Now that you have added more details, I think you should definitely tell him how it makes you feel when he talks about his past sex life.

I totally agree with Artlady. That is extremely immature.

It's normal to have open, honest talk about sex. In fact, it's necessary.

But what you're describing is out of line.

I wish · Sep 3, 2009, 07:43 PM

When something bothers you, you got to speak up. This applies to anything involved in a relationship. Otherwise you will just be bottling things up and making the relationship more tense.

Communication is key.

Survivor07 · Sep 3, 2009, 08:36 PM

I don't think it's the number of partners that's the problem, it's the fact that he's glorifying it. It's demeaning to you.

none12345 · Sep 4, 2009, 06:50 AM

I guess it all depends when he said all of this. If it was before you two got together, than it is not his fault.

s_cianci · Sep 4, 2009, 06:53 AM

Everyone's going to have a past, like it or not. As long as they don't dwell on it it shouldn't be a problem. There's no need to be jealous if your boyfriend has had more sexual partners than you. After all, it really doesn't matter whether you've slept with one other person or 100 other people.

s_cianci · Sep 4, 2009, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by pixiegurl

If it's in the past why does he still talk about the other girls that he has had sex with? It makes me feel like I have a lot to live up to, and the fact that he says these other girls were hot and pretty makes me feel low.

Then just politely ask him not to talk about it. Like I said, one's past only becomes a problem when one dwells on it.

talaniman · Sep 4, 2009, 07:14 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...me-341824.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...er-368498.html

Originally Posted by jolienoire

Are you afraid of failure? It seems to me fear is holding you back from moving forward, you fear to be alone, you fear being depressed, you fear that counseling just won't work, when you really are not trying to look at the positive aspect.

Tell me what are your fears?

I totally understand everything you said and it seems to me that you fear something.
Only you can make these things happen. But first try to change your outlook on life.

Your looking for love, and happiness, in all the wrong places, and you seem to expect someone to make you happy. He is not the one for that, unless you overcome your fear, and learn to love yourself enough to stop allowing his bad behavior to hurt you, even if it means getting rid of him, and being on your own..

Its you who feel bad when he glorifies his past sexual conquests, and this is not a show of love, and caring on his part. It sounds like he uses it for revenge against you to intentionally make you feel bad. That's not love, and whatever other problems your having, stem from one place, lack of love for yourself. That's what you need to learn.

amicon · Sep 4, 2009, 07:22 AM

True true-we need to learn to love ourselves-heal ourselves and then we can have happy and fullfilling relationships.

artlady · Sep 4, 2009, 11:46 AM

Originally Posted by Survivor07

I don't think it's the number of partners that's the problem, it's the fact that he's glorifying it. It's demeaning to you.

Can't rep you but I agree.Seems like typical bullying behavior.
Shooting someone down to build themselves up.

pixiegurl · Feb 8, 2010, 02:42 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We have had many ups and downs throughout the relationship, including me working through a mental disorder. Things are finally going smooth for us except for one problem. He has a friend that I just do not get along with at all. They have been close friends for a few years now and she doesn't trust me and I don't trust her. This is not a jealousy thing at all because her and I have known each other a lot longer then my partner and her have known each other. There is a lot of history between us which ended with a mutual friend of ours not talking to me and spreading rumours about me. Now she doesn't trust that I am good enough for my boyfriend and I don't trust her either. What is tearing me up is that my boyfriend feels like he has to choose, her or me. I don't want him to pick a side or stop being friends with her, I just want him to understand that we will never get along. He gets upset when I refuse to see her, and I feel resentful of myself because I don't want to put him in that kind of position. Should I bite the bullet and make amends with my boyfriends friend or should he just respect the fact that I don't like her and that we don't get along?

amicon · Feb 8, 2010, 04:46 AM

If your boyfriend loved and respected you he should listen to you and accept your choice in the matter.
You should not be forced to go against your own wishes.
If he can't see this, I would ask myself,what I was doing with him.

Romefalls19 · Feb 8, 2010, 06:29 AM

Explain to him that while he is free to still be friends with who he wants, you won't be a part of it. My fiancé has friends that I don't like, I just don't go out with them when she goes out with her. She has her friends that I don't like and I have my friends that she doesn't like.