[chrissiep]

To cut a long story short... I let someone treat me like a doormat and use me.

My own fault. Why do I do it?

Im not like that with anyone else. Just my ex.

Six weeks ago I left because my ex didn't want to go to counselling for our couple issues and my ex's issues regarding the death of a child, the guilt feelings involved with that and what I saw as issues with my ex's ex who was both physically and emotionally abusive to my ex.

Were we stand at the moment is with my ex txting me and telling me that: "right now i dont have the energy for a relationship. Mentally or physically. Can we do friends? I dont know?"

I just said text back: "Ok.Tx. Nite"

I left it at that. 3 days of NC. My most ever!! I was proud of myself. Its so hard... :(

But I just got a text from my ex saying "how you going, my day was terrible. Call me before you go away if you want to" (Im going away for two weeks soon... needed head space for myself)

And what do I want to do... Yup that's right I WANT TO REPLY!!

But I'm pissed off!! My ex said we'd see each other before I left... Now it's a phone call?

Typical... Im such a doormat...

You'd think we were kids... Im 42 and my ex is 50... Will I ever grown up...

Im trying so hard to be strong but I don't think its going to work :(

Im such an looser.

[amicon]

You re not a loser.stay strong and ignore him.dont let him call the shots. Enjoy your trip.

[chrissiep]

you re not a loser

Ha Ha the day gets better... I can't even spell "loser"... :p

Tx for the words of encouragement... :)

[zippit]

: "right now i dont have the energy for a relationship. Mentally or physically. Can we do friends? I dont know?"


.

I think he's being pretty clear with what's going on with him,unless he says this and does something else
Was the break up his idea?
What do you mean used as a door mat?
I would just like more info. Thanks

[chrissiep]

Well I didn't reply.

So I now got another text saying that my ex is going to delete my number, its for the best blah blah blah.

I of course text back with basically pathetic desperate attempts to not let that happen...

Mmmm... I fell for it... This is ridiculous.

Some Background:

I left my ex. When I went to get my stuff I told my ex I was sorry and didn't want to leave. I asked three times... My ex said no but that he still wanted to see me as he would be "devastated" if he lost me altogether. I was fine with that. Why? I don't know.

Since then we've seen each other a couple of times and had a major fight about 3 weeks later. Its been downhill ever since...

Yes. I know NC... :)

[winding200]

I am glad you made a right movement!

Please stop the text message game. It is just useless and childish, and only irritate you emotionally. No matter what wonderful text messages you guys exchange, your 12 yrs of unfruitful relationship will not be fixed over the text. Drop the text message from your phone service plan today please. Rather fully utilize all your energy and time for you, rebuild yourself as a wonderful and lovely lady who attracts the ultimatum partner. Hit the gym & hair salon, spend some alone time, have some happy time with your girlfriend, take some classes, read some books, and put yourself in the RIGHT PLACE to meet decent men.

You are 42 with no child (I assume. Please correct me if I am wrong), learned a lot of lesson, still young and will have the great opportunity in front of you to meet your soul mate who will love & marry you, build the rest of life together. Being a single is a golden opportunity to meet wonderful people. Do not waste your minute for the dad relationship. If your ex lived with you & had a baby together for 12 years, and still did not marry you, it is totally dead realtionhsip, and there is nothing you can miss about. Why did you bother to have a baby together and stayed that long? You guys might have love, but it vanished long time ago as you know. MOVE ON! The mad love does not last too long. That's why marriage comes in picture. People make commitment to the right partner for life time to ensure to be together even after the initial passion goes away. You need it now. Please stop living as Miss, but a decent guy's Mrs. Sorry for losing you baby though. It should be hard for you...

For your information:
The rule of the thumb is human brain cannot maintain 'the extensive love' too long, and it settles after 4 years maximum according to scientist research. If your man doe not marry you in 4 years, the chance to get married to the guy is very slim.