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LonSoul · Aug 23, 2009, 12:33 AM

Hi, I don't know what to do at this moment of my life because I feel I am stuck... I am in a long distance relationship. These days he is not replying to my mail forget about meeting online. Even if he will write to me.. all he will say is that he is very busy don't get time to send emails.. which is sad. Now I feel avoided and neglected,. I have this strong feeling that he have found someone there... we are not in the same country.. he is abroad... So I cannot go to meet him he don't want to come down to our country.. So there is no way I can find out what is going on... He was not like this before he use to care about me a lot.. but now things are not working out. I don't think so I can carry on like this all my friends think that I am crazy to be in love with someone who is away from me for more than 3 yr. I don't know or may be I don't want face the truth.. but I feel that he should let me know if he is not into me.. anymore.. as we have been together for almost 7 yrs... but for more than 3 yrs we have not seen each other..
I seriously need help.. advise from someone who understand my situation

amicon · Aug 23, 2009, 12:41 AM

I would ask him straight out in an email if he is no longer interested in this relationship.it appears all the indications he is NOT are there.for your own sake you need to find out so you can move on with your life.

LonSoul · Aug 23, 2009, 03:45 AM

I will do that.. I have asked him several times over the phone.. and I never got straight answer from him.. I will write to him... I guess it will be easier for him to express his feelings to me.. Thanks Amicon..

Jake2008 · Aug 23, 2009, 04:12 AM

It is very difficult to love someone from a distance. With not even a date when he will visit in person, there is little to look forward to.

Then take away the communication that holds the relationship together, and I think it is pretty obvious that he has moved in a different direction.

You sound like a good person, and committed, and I'm sorry this is not working out for you. But it would be a good idea to word your letter in such a way as to allow him an out so to speak.

Maybe think of saying at the end of the letter, "If I don't hear from you by September 10th, I will consider our relationship over", and that way you are not left wondering if, and when he will ever reply with a straight answer of his own.

Good luck.

talaniman · Aug 23, 2009, 10:21 AM

I agree with the others that you should write him and let him know this 3 year long distance relationship is not working for you and if he cannot give you some straight answers as to when it will end, then you have no choice but to go in a better direction for yourself.

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QNal · Aug 23, 2009, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by LonSoul

Hi, i don't know what to do at this moment of my life because i feel i am stuck... i am in a long distance relationship. These days he is not replying to my mail forget about meeting online. Even if he will write to me.. all he will say is that he is very busy don't get time to send emails.. which is sad. Now i feel avoided and neglected ,... i have this strong feeling that he have found someone there ...we are not in the same country ..he is abroad ...So i cannot go to meet him he don't want to come down to our country.. So there is no way i can find out what is going on...He was not like this before he use to care about me a lot..but now things are not working out. i don't think so i can carry on like this all my friends think that i am crazy to be in love with someone who is away from me for more than 3 yr. I don't know or may be i don't want face the truth..but i feel that he should let me know if he is not into me..anymore..as we have been together for almost 7 yrs ...but for more than 3 yrs we have not seen each other ..
I seriously need help.. advise from someone who understand my situation

Considering that he claims he's too busy to reply to your e-mails he's probably not interested in talking to you. May it be harsh; it's the truth. Has he ever told you what he's been busy in? 3 Years is an awfully long time for your partner to not keep any form of contact with you. Personally, I think that you shouldn't carry on chasing him for answers; Most people would just end it. Yeah, you probably love him a lot, have some extremely strong feelings for him but if you continue like this you'll enter a depressive state if you don't accept the signs he's giving you.

Oh, I'm also in a long distance relationship but not as long as yours. Although, I know someone who has a long distance relationship overseas and everything's working out for them because BOTH partners want it really badly. They're taking action already by visiting each others countries etc. One of them is going abroad to their partner and will go to University there and is planning to settle there.

It'd be best for you to end it. Stop chasing someone who isn't putting any effort into your relationship.