[Msomi]

Few months ago I saw the message to my husband phone writing to another lady that he want to take her out and he asked her if she has someone, when I asked him why he is approching another lady he said that he was joking with her he was not serious, I told him that I don't like him to have those talk with onother lady and he said OK. Later I saw him dialing call calling the lady. We started fighting, and people used to tell me that he is so close with that lady.
I wanted to leave but he apologize and beg me that its not true he even wanted me to meet the lady but I refused to meet her while I am upset.
Before that he used to travel to another city and one day I saw love message from another lady.
Please I need advice I really don't know what to do
Thanks

[N0help4u]

There is a sucker born every minute
DON'T be one of them

What do you think a cheater is going to say when they get caught??

''Oh yeah, by the way I have been going to another city to see her for the past year''?

NOPE, they ALWAYS say
I was just joking
Or I didn't mean anything by it
Or I was just flattering her
Or we were just talking

You really can't win a cheater back if they only get more sneaky after they are caught.

The apology and begging is only for the benefit of not disrupting their little world.
It doesn't mean they will change no matter how much they promise.

You need to keep watching for signs that he is still cheating and not just being more cautious.
Don't be blind to his words.

[Jake2008]

It sounds like he's been up to something, and you had your suspicions, now you have your proof.

I'm curious why he wanted you to meet the first woman. That is a bit contrary to a man hiding an affair.

It is possible, if both parties are willing, to address the infidelities, with a qualified marriage counsellor. If there is any love left there, it is worth a try, rather than to just give up and file for divorce.

People do overcome spouses who have cheated. It is far better to at least try to save the marriage, than bail and become another statistic, and wonder, 'what if we had tried'.

He needs to be completely honest, and you have to be able to believe that you have the whole truth.

Only when he can admit what he's done, can the problems start to be addressed. Don't kid yourself, it is a long, difficult, emotional roller coaster ride to find common ground again, and move past the affair, and back to building a solid marriage again.

But it can be done.

[talaniman]

I think he is hiding something. Unless he comes clean, I see no future as you will always have those unresolved trust issues. A counselor may get to the truth, or he may continue to stick to his story. If he does I don't see you staying, but you need to insist on the whole truth and nothing short of it will do.

He sleeps on the porch until he can do that, and agrees to get help in putting this back together.

[Jake2008]

I have seen this happen where when the spaghetti finally hits the fan, and there is nothing else you can do, but to tell the truth. Nothing else to lose.

If he's smart, he'll take his smart wife, and thank her for 'outing' him so to speak, not letting him off the hook, and be willing to give him a second chance.

He's a complete and total idiot if he doesn't purge his past, and make a solid effort to repair the damage he has done.