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sadlady · Feb 5, 2009, 07:28 PM

We have been married for 22 years He is 11 years younger than me. I was married before but sexually and physically abused. My husband is my hero. We have problems and he was always there for me. Over the past 5-6 years he has become very distant and says he is not in love with me any more. He loves me but not in love with me. He says he is unhappy and wants to move on. 7 weeks ago he left and with in 24/72 hours had moved in with the neighbor right across the road from us. It tears me apart to see it everyday and I can not sleep or eat. I love him more than any thing and I want him to come home . He says he can not make himself feel something he does not. Is it possible to change your feelings and how can I get him back.

neverme · Feb 5, 2009, 07:39 PM

No sadlady. You can't make someone love you. Sorry. I could sugar-coat it but the result is still the same. No.

This is a terrible situation made worse by his proximity. Can you move out of this house? Sell if you have to.. it won't help to be so close to him.

talaniman · Feb 5, 2009, 11:53 PM

Let him go, because he is gone.

phoenix1971 · Feb 7, 2009, 07:51 AM

Sadlady - I simply don't know what to say except that I would give you a hug and have you over for dinner if I could.

My heart breaks for you... get away to a friends for a while if you can, until you feel stronger, don't let him see how much you are hurting and don't contact him no matter what.

After a while, without contact, the mind starts to clear - very slowly and you will be able to assess the situation much better.

No one deserves to ever be treated this way.