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lexytwnsire · Aug 15, 2009, 08:50 PM

My ex and I have joint physical and legal custody. We split the kids 50/50. I am remarried but my husband doesn't make enough to cover everything we may have to move out of our home. I asked my ex for help and he said he would watch the kids until I get back to work. But I don't want to give up my time with my kids. He says its unfair if I seek child support since he is paying medical. What are my options in Ca? Do I have the right to ask the court for support or should I just forget it? Im afraid I may loose joint custody if I file a petition for support. However we are both good parents we have 3 kids I just want a little help financially.

N0help4u · Aug 15, 2009, 08:57 PM

NO he has you believing what he wants you to believe.
With child support he would be covering support and medical.
You are letting him off easy.
He is the one that is being unfair.
You don't lose custody for support.
The normal procedure is going for both of them
When you went for custody why didn't you go for support too?
He is pulling the wool over your eyes if he has you believing otherwise

You NEED to go and file for support asap

lexytwnsire · Aug 15, 2009, 09:06 PM

When we divorced we both were working so I didn't care about support. But now I am not working I wanted some help from him. I applied for unemployment and it has been 2months and it still hasn't come through. I didn't want to go to court and regret it. He says its not fair cause I have a husband and he's alone. But if something doesn't happen I'm going to have to move with a friend and if we would help it may be prevented

stinawords · Aug 15, 2009, 09:34 PM

When you say split custody does he actually have them as much (or close to as much time) as you? If so that would be why support wasn't ordered because if the two of you are making about the same amount and have the kids about the same amount of time through the year it cancles out. You can file for support and if you want an idea of how much support would be paid to you you can use an online calculator for CA. That can also help you to know if it would be worth your time and effort.

lexytwnsire · Aug 15, 2009, 10:13 PM

You are correct there was no support ordered since we do get 50/50. We switch off every Friday. So should I just let them live with for now? Is it wrong to ask for help now that circumstances changed.

N0help4u · Aug 15, 2009, 10:24 PM

I wouldn't jump at just letting them live there yet.
Do you know exactly where you would be moving to and how long they would allow you to stay and if there is enough room for the kids and they would not have a problem with them there as well and iis it in the same school district?

I don't know if sending them to his house if he would maybe want child support from you and other things could maybe be a problem if he is the type to create problems and not work with you

cdad · Aug 16, 2009, 06:55 AM

Here is the problem as I see it. When you go to calculate support your going to have to use last years tax returns to get the numbers you need. Another thing is that this is a temporary situation. So asking for support at this time doesn't sound like something the courts would consider because they have no base to go by. Should you get unemployment then it will be retroactive to the date you filed minus 2 weeks. 2 months sounds excessive. Did you quit your last job and is the unemployment being disputed ? The process shouldn't take no more then a month to process.

stinawords · Aug 16, 2009, 09:02 AM

At this point I wouldn't ask for support, nor would I send the kids to live with him. I know job markets can be tough but have you started looking yet? The problem I see with having the kids stay there longer is that you could loose some of your time with them if he takes it to court and shows how long it has been since they have stayed with you and then he could ask for support as well as the custody modification. Now that won't happen if they stay with him for an extra week but if a couple months goes by then yes, he will be able to go to court and have a case to present.

lexytwnsire · Aug 17, 2009, 09:31 AM

I agree with you as well. I have been looking for a job since the 1st day. It is really tough in Ca. There are quite a few hiring freezes. I don't want to give him the upper hand that's why I have been skeptical about just letting them stay with him and the kids don't really care to stay w/ him that long. They had already been trying to go just on weekends but he said no. Thanks for all your help

cadillac59 · Aug 17, 2009, 03:18 PM

Originally Posted by lexytwnsire

My ex and I have joint physical and legal custody. We split the kids 50/50. I am remarried but my husband doesnt make enough to cover everything we may have to move out of our home. I asked my ex for help and he said he would watch the kids until I get back to work. But I dont want to give up my time with my kids. He says its unfair if I seek child support since he is paying medical. What are my options in Ca? Do I have the right to ask the court for support or should I just forget it? Im afraid I may loose joint custody if I file a petition for support. However we are both good parents we have 3 kids I just want a little help financially.

I cannot understand why you are hesitating in asking for child support. If you have no job and your ex does, you are entitled it support-- even if you share custody on a 50-50 basis. What is this nonsense your ex suggested about watching the kids until you get back to work? Just tell him no. You don't have to agree to that and you shouldn't. You have a right to maintain a relationship with the kids without losing custodial time due to economic hardship. You DO NOT lose custody in California because of monetary reasons. No. We have a solution to your problem and it's called CHILD SUPPORT.

File a motion of your own or open a case with the Department of Child Support Services (DCSS) in your county and let them collect it for you.