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paxe · Aug 12, 2009, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by AKeagle

I think i need to cut ties with a couple more friends of ours.

other thought and i think a couple people will disagree with what i have done.

first off, i have no problem approaching people randomly, males or females its easy to strike a conversation. when it comes to girls i kinda get carried away with flirting where i have to walk away before i dig a grave for myself.

my friend (no connection to ex) is having her 21st Birthday party soon, in the city. she asked me if i was bringing anyone with me. I said i hadn't really thought about it. I thought right away about this girl that i knew, for some reason i never seem to get into the groove when it comes to talking or being around her, whenever i try my best i always mess up. the catch is that she has had feelings for me for the last 4 years, so we haven't done a whole lot of talking cause of my ex. After my ex left, we talked for about 3 weeks. then she got got mad cause she thought i was trying to use her ( i wasn't), so she told me not to contact her, which i did up until about the beginning of this week. today i asked her if she would like to go with me to my friends bday party and she said yes.

Don't get carried away. Dating might be a bit too early for you and you really need to appreciate your time alone. Be frank with her as you know she has feelings for you. I probably have 4 month ahead of you and I'm having a dilemna between the girl I'm going to date on Friday and another girl that has feelings for me and invited me to her party... or girls from my university which are hot or being single.

Actually it's quite a good trait to be able to approach people randomly, I'm almost at this stage but I'm still a bit shy.

AKeagle · Aug 12, 2009, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by paxe

Don't get carried away. Dating might be a bit too early for you and you really need to appreciate your time alone. Be frank with her as you know she has feelings for you. I probably have 4 month ahead of you and I'm having a dilemna between the girl I'm going to date on friday and another girl that has feelings for me and invited me to her party... or girls from my university which are hot or being single.

Actually it's quite a good trait to be able to approach people randomly, I'm almost at this stage but I'm still a bit shy.

I doubt things will get carried away. She is the one that pushed me away before so I stayed away, so I doubt she will have that many feelings for me still. But I guess we'll see what happens, the party is in about 2 weeks.

I'm pretty shocked she said yes, I was kind of expecting that she would get mad for me asking her

AKeagle · Aug 15, 2009, 04:59 AM

So I got out of town yesterday after work. During the drive and the time just relaxing last night I thought. Here is what I have come up with.

I settled, I was too comfortable in the relationship and because of that I never pushed for it to become more, nor did she. I also ignored myself, I want to get out and experince new things. I'm look at going sky driving and taking up scuba. But I also ignored the things in life that were important to my success, college, my job, family and that is just not healthy for me. I should not stop growing because my partner isn't growing.

She was the perfect girl for that part of my life, but she wasn't the perfect girl for life. I want someone who is independent, driven in all aspects of their life, and out going. Not saying I want someone who will go try everything, but someone who would like to do something more than just go to the same places and do the same things.

Just my thoughts after a five and a half hour drive. This does not mean I do not have feelings for her, but it does mean that she was important part of me growing up. Good lesson learned.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 15, 2009, 08:58 AM

That is good.
Sounds like you are coming to realize that you two were good for where you were in life, but you both have grown and changed. It's time to move on to the next phase of life.

paxe · Aug 15, 2009, 12:00 PM

You should never sacrifice your own growth for someone else, and you should not stop growing because someone left you. I realized that with my ex, I sacrificed a lot of my growth because I was with her. I should never have given her that much importance.

AKeagle · Aug 25, 2009, 10:07 AM

I've been having a hard time lately. My ex before her, has been talking to me a lot. She has been wanting to talk about our past (not a good idea) and what happened between my current ex and I. I have been doing really well with keeping myself occupied with work, social life, reading, learning and what not. I have also slow separated myself from some of my friends that are keeps the situation going.

All and all, life is good. Classes start up in a week. But for some reason I'm just down about all this

amicon · Aug 25, 2009, 10:19 AM

Ignore the ex-exs attempts at conversation and keep away from those friends you mentioned.maybe you're a bit down because classes are starting up and things are changing around you even if you are looking forward to this.we all have our moments! Good luck with your education and your life.

AKeagle · Aug 25, 2009, 10:27 AM

I kind of figured my ex ex conversations would be a bad thing. She has seemed to fill in the girlfriend part of my life, except there is nothing going on between us, just talking about life. At the same time when the past is brought up, I just shut down, cause I prefer to not talk about it, I'm looking forward not back. Not saying I'm looking for anything to happen between her and I. (I would prefer if nothing came of her and I again)

kctiger · Aug 25, 2009, 10:28 AM

Time to ditch the past and create a future that involves an all new outlook.

amicon · Aug 25, 2009, 10:48 AM

Yes leave the past where it belongs-in the past.they re exes for a reason.

AKeagle · Aug 25, 2009, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

yes leave the past where it belongs-in the past.they re exes for a reason.

My past ex, I don't not have a problem with. Her and I get along, its just when she wants to talk about my situation or what went wrong when her and I dated. I might just ask her to not talk about what happened for now and what just happened.

I think I need to come up with names, cause this is getting confusing.

paxe · Aug 26, 2009, 01:24 PM

Are you talking about this ex?

AKeagle · Aug 26, 2009, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by paxe

are you talking about this ex?

No I mean the one that was before her.

paxe · Aug 26, 2009, 06:13 PM

Oh yea,
It is getting confusing, didn't know you had another ex, I thought it was your first break up. You should have experience by now :D. Joking aside, first breakup are horrible... lost hair, started getting bald at 22 and my hair started to turn white... but now my hair has grown back and I have no more white hair!

It was a tremendous shock to my body. Honestly if I was able to get back in mental shape, so could you... but I guess you should have by now.

AKeagle · Aug 27, 2009, 05:10 AM

Originally Posted by paxe

oh yea,
it is getting confusing, didn't know you had another ex, I thought it was your first break up. You should have experience by now :D. Joking aside, first breakup are horrible... lost hair, started getting bald at 22 and my hair started to turn white... but now my hair has grown back and I have no more white hair!

It was a tremendous shock to my body. Honestly if I was able to get back in mental shape, so could you... but I guess you should have by now.

Well my past ex, the break up wasn't as bad of a break up. It was also a shorter relationship.

My current ex was the first serious relationship. So I do consider this my first break up. Yeah I'm pretty much back to normal now. It gets to me every once and awhile, when ever I'm walking around the city. Lately I have been writing at night in a notebook, not just about my ex, but about work, ideas I want to pursue in the future, and what not.

As for the ex before her. I enjoy talking to her, but she has lately said she has feeling for me again. Problem, she has a boyfriend and I am sure as heck not going to do to him what happened to me. Besides I do not want anything to become of her and I.

AKeagle · Sep 17, 2009, 04:20 PM

Update.

She is married...

Homegirl 50 · Sep 17, 2009, 04:24 PM

Wow!

AKeagle · Sep 17, 2009, 04:28 PM

2.5 months for a proposal
An extra month for marriage

talaniman · Sep 17, 2009, 05:21 PM

That moving right along at a pretty fast pace. I think you dodged a bullet, honestly.

AKeagle · Sep 17, 2009, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

That moving right along at a pretty fast pace. I think you dodged a bullet, honestly.

Yeah, that is what my close friends have told me. It doesn't hurt that much to have found out this information, just a deer in the headlights. Kind of wondering the is going through her mind. Most of my friends are saying it's a failure waiting to happen. Not meaning that will affect my future.