[Alty]

we were both virgins..ive known him since we were 3. im going to tell my boyfriend tonight and see how it goes. i dont blame him if he wants to break up with me, but it there any way at all that i can justify myself??

Justify having sex with someone else? No.

You have to be honest, tell him everything, then wait and see.

If the tables were turned, if he had sex with someone else, how would you feel?

[HelpinHere]

Okay spit, thought so, just throwing that out there.

Ninja, do you think there was any justice done by sleeping with this "friend"? No? Then you cannot justify it. You can make excuses, but bottom line, you did something wrong. All you can do now is ask for forgiveness.

[ninjaforce5]

OK, I will let you know how it goes. Any ideas on how to do it?

[Alty]

ok, i will let you know how it goes. any ideas on how to do it??

Just be honest. Tell him that you feel horrible about it, you made a mistake and you don't blame him if he doesn't forgive you because you're having a very hard time forgiving yourself.

[HelpinHere]

How should you tell him?

Hmm... I'm thinking you should figure it out for yourself.
Sorry, but we can't be there to hold your hand. You need to learn to get along without this site. I mean, I love this site as much as the next person, but you cannot become dependent on it or us. Think about it, what would happen if we told you everything, but you lost your internet? Then you would be like a fish out of water. You have to learn some things yourself.

No, someone else might think otherwise, but as for me, I feel that you made the problem, you should tell him about it yourself.
Just doing what we say isn't coming from your heart.

EDIT: Okay, apparently Alt wants to tell you herself. :)

[jmjoseph]

How should you tell him?

Hmm... I'm thinking you should figure it out for yourself.
Sorry, but we can't be there to hold your hand. You need to learn to get along without this site. I mean, I love this site as much as the next person, but you cannot become dependent on it or us. Think about it, what would happen if we told you everything, but you lost your internet? Then you would be like a fish out of water. You have to learn some things yourself.

No, someone else might think otherwise, but as for me, I feel that you made the problem, you should tell him about it yourself.
Just doing what we say isn't coming from your heart.

EDIT: Okay, apparently Alt wants to tell you herself. :)

HinH, sometimes I agree with you, but this is not one of those times. She's 16, with 11 posts. How can she be DEPENDENT on this site? She's obviously upset and came here for answers, just like the rest of us. I say she needs some help. You know 16 year old libido, things got carried away, and she has many regrets. I say someone like Alty, who has experienced something like this, should do all they can to ease the pain this teen is going through.
Ninja, we all make mistakes, don't beat yourself up about this . Just learn from it, and move forward. Like they say, the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror. GOD will forgive you, so you should too. I wish you the best.

[HelpinHere]

Yep, I understand the 16 year old mindset probably better than most here, as I am 17.

I understand that she must learn from her mistakes, and I wasn't trying to say she WILL become dependent here. I was trying to say that she needs to learn from both her mistakes, but her own actions too.
If we tell her what to do, she may do it and it may work. But, what if something happens again, and she can't come here, and forgets what someone said. She may get all worried and worked up thinking she will screw up more because she had Alt to tell her what to do this time, but is on her own next time.

Now, if she can do it herself this time, then she knows she can do anything herself, including talking to her boyfriend, avoiding temptation, and any other challenges she must face. If she starts with something small, like telling her boyfriend, (not exactly small, but not really big either) then the bigger stuff will get a little easier.

At least, that's the way I see it.

[jmjoseph]

Yep, I understand the 16 year old mindset probably better than most here, as I am 17.

I understand that she must learn from her mistakes, and I wasn't trying to say she WILL become dependant here. I was trying to say that she needs to learn from both her mistakes, but her own actions too.
If we tell her what to do, she may do it and it may work. But, what if something happens again, and she can't come here, and forgets what someone said. She may get all worried and worked up thinking she will screw up more because she had Alt to tell her what to do this time, but is on her own next time.

Now, if she can do it herself this time, then she knows she can do anything herself, including talking to her boyfriend, avoiding temptation, and any other challanges she must face. If she starts with something small, like telling her boyfriend, (not exactly small, but not really big either) then the bigger stuff will get a little easier.

At least, that's the way I see it.

If we use that logic, then this site wouldn't be here. We should help everyone we can. People don't casually come here, they usually come in despairation. This is not her homework. She doesn't have anyone else to talk to about this. Help her if you can.

[Alty]

I agree JM.

The fact is, we do stupid things when we're young, that's what being young is for, making mistakes, learning from them, moving on, growing and then helping those that are young. :)

[ninjaforce5]

I talked to my boyfriend, and he was not mad, but he was disappointed. He said that it might take a little bit to gain trust back. I promised him it would never happen again and he took my word for it. I feel a lot better, knowing that he knows. He told me that he understands people make mistakes. Thanks for everything guys

[Alty]

Glad to hear it.

Sounds like you have a great guy there, remember that the next time you're tempted, okay?

[HelpinHere]

Glad you could talk to him. Glad he is willing to try to trust you again, and hope you can stay true this time.

Good Luck! :)

[jmjoseph]

Ninja, I'm happy for you. Your guy is a keeper in my book. Now tell the friend to please respect you feelings, and don't tell anyone until your 50th high school reunion.