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    juicycouture's Avatar
    juicycouture Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 7, 2009, 01:46 PM
    I have to choose between 2 guys
    I'm havings big problems, let me start by saying I started dating Brett back in high school we dated for 7 months and his ex came over one night, slept with him he got her pregnant and we broke things off and he ended up marrying her because of the kid.

    He didn't want to marry her and he told me he was so sorry about it, and it was hard for me cause I'm so in love with him (that happened 4 years ago, I was in high school) now I'm married to my best friend but the bad thing is I feel like he is only a friend, we dated for a while and my husband moved fast to put a ring on my finger (I feel he got me when I was vonerable) now I don't know what to do I always thought about brett while I was engaged and now being married I still do.

    I have been married to my husband for 3 years now and one day I went to the craft store and I could feel someone staring at me I look over and there is brett, he said he noticed my car in the parking lot and we talked in the store for 45 min. I thought it would be OK to be just friends and so I told him it was OK for him to call me if he has problems with his wife. Well now him and her are divorced and they have a cute little girl.

    But he wants to get back together, I don't know what to do it's hard cause I love my husband I really do but I don't know if I'm in love with him but I know I love brett. I have no idea what to do I really have to pick between the two and I don't know what to do. Brett talks about getting married to me and he told one of his friends how he felt about me and his friend talked to my husband today telling him everything brett said.

    Now I'm worried cause my husband and brett want to kill each other basically. I really do have to choose and I don't know what to do, I know that brett screwed up and cheated on me but I still after so long have feeling for brett. I never new you could be in love with two different guys.

    Please any help you could give me would be great, brett and I have been secretly texting for 8 months now. I'm not proud of sneaking around but I need to figure out what this feeling is for brett. Please help
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #2

    Aug 7, 2009, 05:12 PM

    Well, you have a few options here.

    1. Break up with your husband, get back with a guy who had no problem with cheating on your and didn't care about your feelings.

    2. Cut off contact and break up with your husband and allow him to find someone who is honest and loyal.

    3. Stop with Brett, work on your marriage and stop being disloyal. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, stop checking out others lawns and take care of your own.

    Personally, 2 and 3 are the best bet.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Aug 7, 2009, 05:17 PM

    You were vulnerable? Really?

    You want what you shouldn't have. You're married, your husband doesn't deserve this.

    If this Brett was a half decent guy he wouldn't make you choose, he'd walk away. The fact that he's trying to break up your marriage tells me exactly what kind of man he is.

    Work on your marriage, give your husband a chance. Forget about Brett.

    You can't have two guys, only one.
    winding200's Avatar
    winding200 Posts: 167, Reputation: 40
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    #4

    Aug 7, 2009, 06:25 PM

    The title is not correct.
    "I have to choose between 2 guys "?
    No, you already chose your husband when you married. Do not look back the looser, and make your husband confidient with your love, and give love & respect to your husband who really loves you. It will be rewarding for life time. Period.
    Choosing the looser who made a gilr pregnant and left you? Are you out of mind?
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #5

    Aug 7, 2009, 07:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    You were vulnerable? Really?

    You want what you shouldn't have. You're married, your husband doesn't deserve this.

    If this Brett was a half decent guy he wouldn't make you choose, he'd walk away. The fact that he's trying to break up your marriage tells me exactly what kind of man he is.

    Work on your marriage, give your husband a chance. Forget about Brett.

    You can't have two guys, only one.

    Had to spread the Rep Alty but I agree , Brett is not a decent guy and the OP is also cheating , maybe not physically but emotionally cheating by texting this guy for the last 8 months.

    Unfortunately I think she's already made up her mind and is another one who comes here trying to get justification for her intentions,

    So sad :(
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #6

    Aug 7, 2009, 07:17 PM

    If you never would have saw Brett in the store you wouldn't be in this dilemma.

    Btw, your husband didn't force you to marry him you did that on your own free will.

    Also, why in the world did Brett's friend have to confront your husband to tell him the 411? You couldn't be woman enough to tell him?

    Why is Brett mad @ your husband? He got a lot of nerves! The only who should be upset is your husband and he should just walk away instead of keeping himself in a situation where he might do something crazy to end in jail.
    You created this mess so it is time for you act like an adult instead of child. Too many people lose their life because of these love triangles.
    ajGambino's Avatar
    ajGambino Posts: 317, Reputation: 97
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    #7

    Aug 7, 2009, 08:18 PM

    Divorce your husband, he deserves so much better.
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #8

    Aug 7, 2009, 08:37 PM
    Let's see, this GREAT guy, Brett, is the guy that cheated on you, having unsafe sex, putting you at risk for STD's, is pursuing YOU, a married woman, after getting a divorce for who knows what reasons, is texting you, trying to get you to leave an actual GOOD GUY, ready to fight him... HMMM, this is tough. I flipped a coin, it landed on the side. What did your vows say? "Love, cherish, honor, obey, until Brett gets a divorce."


    Anyone that will cheat WITH you, will cheat ON you.
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #9

    Aug 7, 2009, 08:43 PM

    You already chose. You are married.

    Anyway, as others have pointed out, Brett is dishonorable. A real man does not do any of the things he's done. Cut him off and stop torturing your best friend husband. You need to apologize to your husband.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #10

    Aug 7, 2009, 08:51 PM

    I really hope the OP responds to this , I would hate for her to look at the advice she has received and just go away because it's not what she WANTED to hear :cool:
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #11

    Aug 7, 2009, 08:55 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by friend4u178 View Post
    I really hope the OP responds to this , I would hate for her to look at the advice she has received and just go away because it's not what she WANTED to hear :cool:
    Hate to be cold, but I feel for the good guy husband. He did nothing to warrant THIS mess he's found himself in. I actually used restraint.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #12

    Aug 8, 2009, 05:41 AM

    Another soap opera.so when the next ex comes along he ll sleep with her as well? Your ex manufactures red flags.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Aug 8, 2009, 09:58 AM

    Go back to Brett, since you care so much for guys that lie, cheat, and make babies with other chicks. Better yet, keep doing what your doing, and your husband will make the choice for you, when he's had enough of your crap.

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