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cvalleygirl4 · Aug 4, 2009, 09:52 AM

I have been dating this guy for a few months, but I always felt like he was hiding something. He later then tells me that he has a girl pregnant and that they are still married but they are ending it. She still lives with him, but he says they don't have sex anymore. He recently told her that its completely over, so they are getting a divorce. I really like this guy but I feel when the baby is born, even though he tells me he loves me I feel like he might want to go back with her because of the baby. I don't mind them being solely friends for the baby, because I do care for the baby.. but do men always have feelings for their babies mothers? What should I do?

Silverfoxkit · Aug 4, 2009, 10:06 AM

This isn't just "baby's mama drama", this is a marriage. Are you certain they really are divorcing? Many men have told their mistresses this story to keep them around. If he is capable of hiding something this big from you now what's to say he won't go looking for more even once he is divorced if he actually gets divorced.

lessaul · Aug 4, 2009, 10:07 AM

First, be concern about why he wasn't forthcoming about his wife or soon to be ex-wife and especially why he never told you before about her pregnancy. Honesty is the most important ingredient to any successful relationship, he doesn't seem to be very honest with you. I'm sure he was concerned that you would not want him with all his luggage, however, that should be your choice, not his. If I was you, I would seriously reconsider your relationship with him, there a plenty of honest fish in the sea.

I wish · Aug 4, 2009, 10:10 AM

First of all, if he's capable of hiding something like this, who knows what else he's hiding.

Secondly, he is a married man. Until he actually gets a divorce, he's basically cheating on his wife.

Thirdly, I have a difficult time believing that he's actually over his wife. They are still living in the same house and you have no idea what's going on.

Fourthly, how can you trust anything he says?

asking · Aug 4, 2009, 10:15 AM

You are dating a married man who is living with his very pregnant wife. He hides things. He SAYS (to you) he's told his wife it's over, but you don't really know what he's said to her. And if he's still having sex with her, do you think he'd tell you? No.

What's to like? Dump him now!

If he's so great (and serious about you), he'll understand perfectly and come back to you when he's actually divorced and available. For now, he's given you no reason to believe him. Even if it's true that he's not sleeping with his wife (or hasn't lately), that may only be because she's pregnant.

Run, run, run...

Torrid13 · Aug 4, 2009, 10:17 AM

I think you need to cut this guy loose and find someone that doesn't have such messy baggage.

It'll basically become a huge contest between you & his wife. Not pretty.

Tell him to take a hike.
Preferable a very long one, away from you.

JudyKayTee · Aug 4, 2009, 12:59 PM

If I had a nickel for every man who ever told me he was married but ending it and he and his wife still lived in the same house but had no sexual contact... I'd have a lot of nickels.

I see no future here - the man lies to say nothing of being incapable of ending one relationship before he begins another.

HotPotato2009 · Aug 4, 2009, 01:41 PM

My opinion, you need to let this guy go. Knowing that he is married and all and still living with the girl. Your going to get yourself all worked up for no reason thinking about what's going on with him and his wife. It's not worth it. I would end it. If he really wants to be with you in the end, then he'll find you. I agree with everyone, he may be just trying to keep you around.

Gemini54 · Aug 4, 2009, 04:38 PM

Your intuition told you something was wrong, but by then he'd hooked you in.

He's giving you ALL the classic lines...

.. he's ending the relationship
... they don't have sex any more
... he's getting a divorce

And, have you thought how his wife might feel if any of this is actually true? (Try putting yourself in her place, for a moment.)

It's only been a few months - run for the hills, as fast as you can and don't look back. This man is trouble with a capital T.

Surely you can do better than him?

N0help4u · Aug 4, 2009, 05:04 PM

He may be wanting to end it but often even when a guy (or girl) is in a relationship and even not having sex (may or may not be)
The problem is the ties often keep them together no matter how true and sincere his intentions are for wanting a life with you.

He doesn't need the complications in his life.

The best thing you can do is leave him until he leaves her. Don't even get with him until she is completely out of his life -relationship wise--of course he will need to see the baby but as far as his feelings---completely over her to where you can trust he won't turn back!