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    dumbass123's Avatar
    dumbass123 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 3, 2009, 10:45 AM
    My lover dates my friend but now wants me back,what do I do?
    My first (love/partner) has bee dating one of my distant friends for just about 5 years now, but just recently expressed to me that she is unhappy and misses me and would take me back if I wanted her. I would love to be back with her but:1. She dates a friend of mine 2. I broke heart the first time (and would die if did it again) 3. Would break friends heart 4. My old bestfriends cousin 5. Do beleve in loyalty to friends but love more.what do I do?HELP!!
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #2

    Aug 3, 2009, 11:02 AM

    Find a new pond to fish in. I would steer clear of this as it is trouble waiting to happen. It is easy to look elsewhere when you are unhappy... what if she comes back to you, gets bored or unhappy and then wants your friend back? I would avoid this situation.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Aug 3, 2009, 07:07 PM

    Yep jumping from one relationship to another especially when friends are involved is never a good idea.
    Torrid13's Avatar
    Torrid13 Posts: 637, Reputation: 149
    Senior Member
    		  
    #4

    Aug 3, 2009, 07:12 PM

    You're basically considering writing a relationship death sentence that affects people you care about.

    Like KC said, go look somewhere else.

    Something smells like trouble, and it's not because I didn't shower this morning. >.>
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #5

    Aug 3, 2009, 07:39 PM

    Sometimes we end up dating people our friends used to date, but this isn't someone your friend used to date - it's his current girlfriend... really not done. What's more, it's really immature of her to be trying to lure you in before she's ended this relationship. It's really disrespectful to her current boyfriend and also shows she doesn't understand that ending a relationship requires a bit of time for thoughtful reflection.

    Wish her well but don't even become her friend - let it go. Support your friend, and as others said so well, fish elsewhere! No sense dating someone you already dated and broke up with - you've done that relationship, wrong girl... move on.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #6

    Aug 4, 2009, 06:43 AM

    She's basically hanging on to her boyfriend right now to see if you're serious about her. If you're serious, then she's going to break up with her boyfriend to be with you. If you're not, she's just going to keep on hanging on to your friend. How can you trust her after she does something like this?

    She has many insecurity issues. There are too many obstacles for you to be happy with her. You will constantly be suspicious of her on whether she's going to try to find someone else while hanging on to you.

    There's no reason for you to be in such an unhealthy relationship. Find someone else who will make you happy and doesn't play mind games with you.
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