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slmmommy2 · Jul 25, 2009, 08:55 AM

I have never been married and I live in Indiana. My baby's father is in jail and does not see him or pay child support at this time. My current boyfriend is in the Army and is stationed in New York and I want to move there to be with him. Will I be able to move out of state with my son?

s_cianci · Jul 25, 2009, 09:47 AM

If you have sole physical and legal custody, then yes, you can. Check your court documents to be sure. And if there are no court documents, then obviously there's no custody order so then you're in the clear. If there is a custody order, you may have to have it modified before you can be cleared to move to NY.

stinawords · Jul 25, 2009, 11:12 AM

Does the father have an order for visitation? If he does and it was not modified before he went to jail then you will need the courts approval before moving. It shouldn't be that bad though because you can use the fact that he is in jail to have it modified.

slmmommy2 · Jul 28, 2009, 04:45 PM

The father does not have an order for visitation, but the paternal grandparents do have court ordered visitations with my son. Can they fight me to stay in the state of Indiana? What if the father doesn't approve of the move? Does he only have a say if he has an order for visitation?

s_cianci · Jul 28, 2009, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by slmmommy2

The father does not have an order for visitation, but the paternal grandparents do have court ordered visitations with my son. Can they fight me to stay in the state of Indiana? What if the father doesn't approve of the move? Does he only have a say if he has an order for visitation?

Since the paternal grandparents have court-ordered visitation, they could fight your move. Whether they'll win is another issue. Ultimately the judge will decide based on the child's best interests. If it appears, in the judge's eyes, that your proposed move best serves the child's interests then the judge will OK it and modify the paternal grandparents' visitation accordingly. If not, then you'll be ordered to keep the child where he is. Now, if the father has no visitation order and no custody order, then no, he has no standing on which to try and fight your move. I suppose that, going strictly by the book, he could file a motion but being incarcerated he may be pragmatically hindered from doing so. And even if his motion made it to trial, his total lack of involvement in the child's life would not be looked at favorably by the judge at all.

cdad · Jul 28, 2009, 05:01 PM

If they have a court order for visitation then yes they can fight the move because your trying to force a change based on a court order.

slmmommy2 · Jul 28, 2009, 05:24 PM

QUOTE=s_cianci;1887467]Since the paternal grandparents have court-ordered visitation, they could fight your move. Whether they'll win is another issue. Ultimately the judge will decide based on the child's best interests. If it appears, in the judge's eyes, that your proposed move best serves the child's interests then the judge will OK it and modify the paternal grandparents' visitation accordingly. If not, then you'll be ordered to keep the child where he is. Now, if the father has no visitation order and no custody order, then no, he has no standing on which to try and fight your move. I suppose that, going strictly by the book, he could file a motion but being incarcerated he may be pragmatically hindered from doing so. And even if his motion made it to trial, his total lack of involvement in the child's life would not be looked at favorably by the judge at all.[/QUOTE]

Would it also depend on how much visitation the grandparents have with my son on whether they can keep me here in Indiana? I know they will fight me on this issue, so what would they have to prove to keep me here?

J_9 · Jul 28, 2009, 05:27 PM

The judge will also take into consideration the length of time you and your current boyfriend have been together. As it seems now, the child has a family centered environment. The judge most likely won't take a child out of a stable environment just for you to be near a boyfriend.

cdad · Jul 28, 2009, 05:38 PM

Visitation is Visitation unless they are never using it. Your olny way around it might be a compromise like giving them more of it in a block of time but not take any away.

slmmommy2 · Jul 28, 2009, 05:51 PM

What if my boyfriend and I get married? Since he is in the Army I will go where he gets stationed. Will the courts look at this as in the best interest for the child to be on a military base and have a good home and education? My son is only 15 months by the way and has no idea what is happening at this point.

cdad · Jul 28, 2009, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by slmmommy2

What if my boyfriend and I get married? Since he is in the Army I will go where he gets stationed. Will the courts look at this as in the best interest for the child to be on a military base and have a good home and education? My son is only 15 months by the way and has no idea what is happening at this point.

No its not going to help at this point. What if he gets stationed in afghanistan ?

Anytime your removing visitation there has to be an overwhelming issue pushing it. In your case it doesn't sound like it.

s_cianci · Jul 28, 2009, 06:17 PM

Would it also depend on how much visitation the grandparents have with my son on whether they can keep me here in Indiana? I know they will fight me on this issue, so what would they have to prove to keep me here?

They will have to prove that you staying put is in the child's best interests. What you need to do is present evidence that moving is in the child's best interests.

slmmommy2 · Jul 28, 2009, 06:52 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

No its not going to help at this point. What if he gets stationed in afghanistan ?

Anytime your removing visitation there has to be an overwhelming issue pushing it. In your case it doesnt sound like it.

Well of course I will not go if he is being deployed there. I will live on base where he is stationed. I will not be removing visitation because I will want to work out some sort of visitation where they will have my son for a longer period and some holidays. I am not trying to take any visitaion rights. I also have family in Indiana so I will be back to visit family often.

stinawords · Jul 28, 2009, 07:59 PM

As pointed out in order to move you will have to have it apporved by the court. No, it dosen't matter how much visitation time the grandparents have it is court ordered so they have a leg to stand on. No, again, it won't really matter if you marry your boyfriend because the kid is so young it still won't show a long stable relationship that will be in his best interest. Before you go to far into planning a move get a court date... and before the court date get a strong case together about why moving (and where you will be moving to) is in the best interest of the child.

reading1 · Jul 28, 2009, 08:44 PM

I think it's perfectly legal to move to New York to be with your boyfriend. Just make sure that you at least contact him through a letter or you via next phone conversation, and tell him your intention. After all that still his son, and he has giving up parental rights. I'm sure he knows of your boyfriend. Long as you make it about the child everything should work out find. Just give him enough chances to see his son, but after a while you got to guard your son feling also. Good Luck with the BIG APPLE. BROOKLN BOY I'M OUT.

stevetcg · Jul 29, 2009, 04:18 AM

Indiana is particularly adament about grandparent rights and their court ordered rights are as valid as the child's father. If they choose to fight it, they will very likely win.

My suggestion would be to speak with them before anything happens in court and come to an acceptable agreement.

As for your getting married, it's the same thing as if your child's father had visitation... your move would have to be approved by the court (technically the change in court ordered visitation has to be approved, but it works out to be the same thing in the end)

cdad · Jul 29, 2009, 12:37 PM

Originally Posted by reading1

I think it's perfectly legal to move to New York to be with your boyfriend. Just make sure that you atleast contact him through a letter or you via next phone convo, and tell him your intention. After all that still his son, and he has giving up parental rights. I'm sure he knows of your boyfriend. Long as you make it about the child everything should work out find. Just give him enough chances to see his son, but after a while you got to gaurd your son feling also. Good Luck with the BIG APPLE. BROOKLN BOY I'M OUT.

Did you read this thread before you responded ? It seems you didn't pay any attention to the facts. Please be more careful in the future and also stick with the law as it applies to the Op.

slmmommy2 · Jul 31, 2009, 02:16 PM

So I pretty much have no chance of ever moving out of state with my child to better my child's life and my own and be happy. I have to be near my ex's family the rest of my life so they can make my life miserable and keep watch on everything I do.

stinawords · Jul 31, 2009, 03:48 PM

I didn't say you have absolutely no chance. I said you have to have it approved by the court. If you can prove to a judge that moving is best for the child then it will happen. But if you don't have a strong enough case then you will waste your time and money.

cdad · Jul 31, 2009, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by slmmommy2

So I pretty much have no chance of ever moving out of state with my child to better my childs life and my own and be happy. I have to be near my ex's family the rest of my life so they can make my life miserable and keep watch on everything I do.

You can try working with the grandparents first and see how that goes. Lets say they have the child for the entire summer and you have the child the rest of the time while getting to move.

There might be something that you can work with.

And its not for your whole life its until the child is 18. I know you couldn't see all of this when you decided to have a child with this man but you have to take what life throws at you and you can either suck lemons or make lemonade.