Check out some similar questions!

fghsd099 · Jul 24, 2009, 04:12 PM

There was this girl who I used to see every morning but I never spoke to her.
I've started to talk to her over the last few weeks and we get on really well.
When I started to talk to her she had a boyfriend but they split up and we became quite close.
I asked her out the other day and she said no but she said that I was a lovely sweet guy and she was crying and was very upset. She said that she wanted to stay single as she had a lot of bad experiences with her previous boyfriend.
2 days after I asked her out I found out that she had a new boyfriend so obviously I was kind of upset.
I haven't spoken to her about it yet but I can't stop thinking about her and was wondering whether I should just forget about her and try to avoid her (but this would be kind of hard as we have the same mates) or to continue to talk to her in the hope that she'll split up with her boyfriend and then I'll try again.
I would be grateful for any advice
Thank you

liz28 · Jul 24, 2009, 04:27 PM

You need to move past on and don't live off false hope.

For whatever reasons, this girl doesn't want to have you as a boyfriend and maybe she didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying that directly.

So what do you do now? You get out and find someone single and available who wouldn't mind giving you a chance. You venture but nothing was gain, however, life goes on on.

taoplr · Jul 24, 2009, 05:02 PM

Consider the fact that the guys who are "lovely, sweet guys," the good-friend-but-not-boyfriend types are the ones girls ultimately trust. Grow into a lovely, sweet man, and you will have an essential part of wonderful relationships. There's more, but if you start with a gentle nature, things can be sweet.

Reality: You "got on really well," as you put it, but she didn't pass a threshold in herself that said "Romance With You." She lied about being alone, and is divided in herself; that's why the tears came. You are not as significant to her as she is to you. Deal with that, then ask yourself why you would try again. You are not describing someone exceptional, someone it would be safe with to open yourself up and grow.

I'm not saying that she is bad, just not a great friend. Being close to her might not be as much fun as you have imagined. I wouldn't cut off contact, but instead would detach emotionally, enjoy being with your mates, and let her do what she does without you thinking of getting together with her. If that happens, let it be her who convinces you that it's a good idea.

Tao

talaniman · Jul 24, 2009, 07:21 PM

Don't let her rejection stop you from pursuing other options. You tried, it didn't work, don't dwell on it, move on.

Torrid13 · Jul 24, 2009, 07:41 PM

I applaud you for having the guts to ask her out! A lot of people can't even get past that part.

However, I'm sorry to say she's not interested, and trying to change someone's mind never works. You just come off desperate and needy that way.

But the good news is that now you don't have to keep wondering if she likes you, and can find someone that truly digs you!