Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Nova23's Avatar
    Nova23 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 31, 2008, 08:43 AM
    She needs time to herself how do I deal with this
    Threads merged

    I was dating this girl for around 9 months and then I broke it off with her and we kept on seeing each other for the next two years. I finally realized that this is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. Now she doesn't know what her feelings are and told me that she needs time to herself and it has nothing to do with finding anyone else. I love this girl with all my heart. I know she will call me when she is ready. How do I deal with this situation going from someone I spoke to everyday for two years straight to not talking to her for the next couple of weeks.
    I spoke to her again this past week and she assured me that she doesn't want to find anyone else she just wants to be alone right now. I guess the hardest part is waiting but I've been told my a few that if you really love her its worth the wait. I know I will hear from her soon because I have an affair that she is coming with me to. I guess until then the hardest part is wondering what she is doing when she will call and hoping that this is all worth it in the end and staying strong and keeping it off my mind
    Simple Asian's Avatar
    Simple Asian Posts: 302, Reputation: 13
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Mar 31, 2008, 10:59 AM
    as her already said just let her have sometime... if she is the girl that you think she will be with you for the rest of your life then you should wait for her ^^...

    I no the feeling that you have to wait and not seeing her.. it hard but it also the test for you to see if you really love this girl or not... to make sure that you are..

    while waiting for her answer.. why don't you hang out with your friends and have fun,, keep your mind off her for a while ^^
    duck22's Avatar
    duck22 Posts: 115, Reputation: 31
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Mar 31, 2008, 07:15 PM
    So you have been with this girl for 9 months then fooled around with her for another two years? Were you both mutual this entire time and why did you not ask her out again if you loved her?

    From experience I would take what she says with a grain of salt about her not wanting to see anybody else. With the information you have given I think you to play it safe for now. Do not expect her to come back to you because there are no certainties in life.

    I think if you give us more information that I and everybody else will be able to give you more accurate advise on your situation.
    Nova23's Avatar
    Nova23 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Mar 16, 2009, 08:27 PM
    Does showing signs of moving make your ex want you back
    Threads merged and moved.

    I was in a relationship for a little less than a year and then broke it off with my ex girlfriend. We kept on talking as like we were boyfriend and girlfriend without the title and down the road I did want to get back with her but she told me that I had pushed her away by waiting so long to come around. For a while now I have been trying to get back with her and we've tried saying the goodbyes but we always end up talking again so we stopped with the goodbyes. Its mainly over a trust issue nothing to do with cheating pretty much just little things I did in the past she's afraid down the line I might do again. She said when and if she's ready she'll come around and contact me. So I have just let the situation be for a while now and just play it cool. Every now and then though I get IMs or texts or even phone calls either asking for help with something or just a text to say HI. It kind of gets annoying because every time I get a text or a phone call from her I think its because she wants to move forward but it never seems to be the case. My signs of behaviour have not shown her that I am moving on because I always answer her calls and texts. I know I need to be patient and let things unfold at their natural pace but do you think by not answering the next time I get an I'm, text, or call from her it will do me better or worse. Any suggestions or feedback on this situation would be great thanks
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Mar 16, 2009, 08:39 PM

    Well if it's not working now when you do answer them, what harm would it do you to ignore them.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Mar 17, 2009, 03:27 PM

    Every contact from her, brings you false hope, so stop answering.
    Sadgirl20's Avatar
    Sadgirl20 Posts: 15, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #7

    May 7, 2009, 08:40 AM

    Get another girl!!
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #8

    May 7, 2009, 10:28 AM

    Sounds like you have your head straight. If you really love her as much as you say you do, then be patient. It's her problem, she has to sort it out on her own.

    As for you, just keep yourself busy. I'm guessing that while you were spending the last 2 years with her, you missed out on a few things. Now's your chance. Hang out with friends. Play sports. Watch sports. Play video games... whatever your hobbies are and were before you met her.
    Nova23's Avatar
    Nova23 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Jul 20, 2009, 09:32 AM
    Is moving forward the best option
    Threads merged


    I was wondering what advise you would have for me on my

    Situation. I want to get back with my ex girlfriend and she

    Tells me her biggest fear is little things I did in the past

    To her will happen again. She tells her sister that she

    Wants to get back together with me but doesn't know when.

    She claims she's just scared of the past repeating itself. I

    Have been patient and been waiting for a while now and my

    Patience has ran out. I told her I just can't do this

    Anymore and that its best to move on and when and if she

    Comes around and wants this she knows my number. Everyone

    Keeps telling me that she will come around she just needs to

    See what its like without you in her life and not having

    That comfort that your there anymore. I am trying to go out

    And move forward with my life its just hard because she is

    Always on my mind wondering if she will come back to me. I

    Guess that's the feeling when you love someone. So any advice

    On this situation or suggestions would be great. I plan on

    Not contacting her only if she contacts me first.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #10

    Jul 20, 2009, 09:51 AM

    She already knows that you want to get back together. If she wanted to give the relationship a second chance, she will contact you.

    I think it's better that you start moving on. If she ever comes back to you, then great! If she doesn't, then at least you will be in a better position to move on with your life.

    Sticking with no contact is a good idea. Because every time to talk to her, you will analyse all the little signs, which is unhealthy.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #11

    Jul 20, 2009, 10:48 AM

    I wonder what little mistakes you made and what mistakes she made?

    In the end you should have learnt a valuable lesson from this relationship--and it should be what to do and what not to do. That's all you can do right now.

    Don't keep the door open too long for her to come back because once you have move on to someone else magically she will want back in.
    Nova23's Avatar
    Nova23 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #12

    Apr 5, 2010, 05:43 AM
    Please help need some major advice on my situation!!
    Threads merged


    OK so here's my situation it's a very complicated situation: I started dating this girl almost 5 years ago we were only together for 9 months I broke it off with her because I wasn't sure what I really wanted I know I loved her but I wasn't in love with her at the time. We continued to talk everyday and hangout at my convience all the time. We were pretty much like we were still together without the title. I went out and hung out with friends and was having my fun while she was there on the side waiting around for me. This went on for about two years until I realized what an douche I was being and I started to realize what the hell am I doing. During around Christmas two years ago maybe a little before I wanted to get back with her but I had pushed her so far away that she didn't want to. So pretty much for the past two years the tables have turned and yes I know its my own fault. Where she has thrown a million different excuses at me as to why she doesn't want to get back with me right now she says she's afraid she's stubborn what if she gets back and I do the same thing again and I have tried to show her how much I've changed over the past 2 years and we always say were going to part ways and go our own way but we always end up talking but yesterday we got into it again and now were doing the whole parting ways again I guess the worst part is I fell in love with her over time and now Im so hurt how do you say goodbye or part ways and never know its going to work out again when your in love with someone and they make you so happy I was an idiot for not realizing that sooner and this whole time there hasn't been a reason for why any of this has happened now were parting ways and I don't know what to do or how to handle this I don't know if she's going to come back to me or move on and find someone else I feel like I have a hole in my heart and all motivation for things I've been doing has been lost I need serious had advice please help
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Apr 5, 2010, 06:19 AM

    Sorry to say but it sounds like this is over and has been over for two years, maybe more. How do you go on? You just do. You cut contact and heal yourself - you also forgive yourself. It's easy to say things would have been different and hindsight is always 20/20. You can't predict the past anymore than you can the future.

    Leave her alone, get yourself together and purge forward as much as possible. You may have to fake your own happiness for awhile but eventually you can come back to reality. Good luck!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #14

    Apr 5, 2010, 06:25 AM

    Its over-accept it and start living your life again.

    Forget the what ifs,and move on.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #15

    Apr 5, 2010, 11:44 AM

    You have been asking the same question for 2 years, and all the advice you have gotten tells you the same thing, "LEAVE HER ALONE, AND GET YOUR OWN LIFE"

    Until you heal by that advice, and move on, you will continue to be miserable, and heart broken. Two years is time enough, and your way didn't work, so try ours, and do this the right way.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

My situation with my first love, advice? [ 8 Answers ]

Sort of a wall, but please read all the way through. I'll first say that I am a seventeen years old (nearly eighteen) and that I have never felt the same way about someone as I do now, yet I know that this love I have for this young woman is true and unconditional. I know that she is truly a...

I need advice for unique situation [ 4 Answers ]

I Have A Unique Situation...

Unfortunate situation, need some advice. [ 8 Answers ]

I'll try to be as brief as possible. My thanks in advance to all who take the time to understand this situation, and offer advice. My mother (age 58) has deeded one acre of land to my sister. This acre is adjacent to my mothers' home in Texas. The purpose of this gift was to enable my sister...

Strange Situation, advice please! [ 3 Answers ]

Sorry this is so lengthy. I leased a business, when the lease ran out we were finacially unable to renew. We owed an enormous amount of money at the time (around $60,000). One of the suppliers we owed told me not to pay the debt to them because the contract we'd signed placed the responsibility of...

Complicated Tax Situation(Advice Needed) [ 5 Answers ]

To tax experts I have a complicated tax situation, I am working on OPT for a company since may 2005, I got married in September and my wife came to america on dependent F-2 visa, She got her L-1 approved recently and she has started working for a company since dec 15th. I am really...


View more questions Search