[hollywood291]

Hi Everyone
I joined this website just so I could ask this question. Let me tell you some backstory about the situation. Im 21 years old and my girlfriend is 19. We were friends for a while until we both started to realize we liked each other more and we started dating in August. Things were going great for a while until about March she told me she thought she has depression and wanted to get help for it. My mother has depression so I know first hand how dehibilating it can be. She told me that she is never happy at home and doesn't feel like herself, she also says she has night terrors at home. She told me she asked her mom to take her to the doctor for it a few years ago and her mom just laughed at her and told her go away, so I would have to take her in secret. Here is some information about her parents, her mom is the most controlling person I have ever met, she tells my girlfriend what to wear( my girlfriend is a very conservative girl, I'm not talking about a revealing shirt for a nice one I'm talking about don't wear the blue one it makes you look ugly) she tells her how to style her hair, what to eat, what movies she likes and constantly insults her telling her she isn't smart or pretty enough. My girlfriend is the most beautiful girl. Her dad on the otherhand is bipolar, he was never diagnosed because he it too proud to go but I'm a psychology major I know what I'm talking about. In his episodes he has hit her a few times. They have a bad marriage, they take turns sleeping on the couch and I have never seen them show affection for each other. Back to the story, I took her to the doctor and she was diagnosed with severe depression and bipolar type 2 which is when you are uncontrolalby sad. She was prescribed antidepressants and told to see a therapist. Things were going good and she was feeling good about herself for about a week until her mom went through her bag and found the medicine. Her mom flipped out and told her she didn't "believe" in depression and it was all in her head caused by me. She would sleep over on the weekends so we can spend time together and because she liked it more at my house. That weekend though when it was time to pick her up she told me not to come and if I did she wouldn't come outside. When I asked her why she said because her mom would call the police and say I am stalking her and she is mentally ill. So I dropped it and we just talked on the phone all that weekend. The only time we saw each other was class because we made our schedules together, all that week she didn't want to see me after school. On the last day of the week she wasn't in class, so when I called her she said her mom logged on to her school website and dropped her from the classes. Over the past 4 months we keep dirifting more and more apart. Every time I try and see her or talk to her now she ignores me or tells me she loves me but we can't be together. I am not a bad kid, I'm responsible, I don't drink, I don't do drugs etc. I always treated her parents with respect, I tried talking to the parents, I left them flowers on there door, I emailed her dad saying sorry for doing it behind there back I just wanted his daughter happy, I invited them over my house so they could eat dinner with me and my family but every time I reached out to them they either ignored me or told me I can never see there daughter again. My friends and family tell me I should move on because they don't like seeing me unhappy. I really love the girl and I know she loves me. She is so terrified of her parents that she can't stand up to them. She's told me many times that I make her stronger and give her the courage to stand up to her parents, I also think that is why they don't like me because I encourage her to think for her own. I don't want to live my life also wondering what could have been if she just knew how to stand up to her parents. I don't know what to do, I really see myself spending my life with her but with her depression and controlling parents she doesn't know how to be with me. Ive asked her so many times if she doesn’t love me to just come clean but she always says she loves me but we can't be together. She acts like she hates me and wants nothing to do with me, even though she swears she still loves me. She seems like a whole different person, and she won't let me in anymore. I don’t know if she's just been brain washed or if she's afraid of her parents or what. Any advice or opinions on the matter would be really appreciated.

Thanks

[brittie_xoxo]

Wow, You're going through a lot with this girl.
It's amazing how much you care for her, don't stop
Caring for her she really needs it with the situation
She's in. I deal everyday with a near similar situation.
The way her family seems does sound like they'd make
You two not see each other. If her mom is so controlling over
Her choices then she's going to be controlling about who she dates
No matter what. Her mother probably didn't like the fact you went
Against her wishes and took her daughter to the doctor and got her
Medication. But you shouldn't feel sorry about doing that. My boyfriend
Has done the same for me and I appreciated it very much. Maybe you
Should do something crazy romantic and write her a letter and put
It on her window or make sure her parents aren't home and throw pebbles
At her window. Or do the most romantic thing get her favorite song
Or a really romantic sweet song and hold a radio over your head outside
Her house as you play it. May sound crazy but I would definitely keep hope
And fall head over heels for a guy who would do that for me. You guys almost
Sound like Romeo and Juliet; just don't kill yourselves. Get creative. If you really
Love her keep it up. She's also 19, She doesn't have to listen to her parents.

[sweet1028]

As a 19 year old girl, she does not have to live in that environment. She is of age, and nothing her parents can say if she would move out. Don't give up on this girl if you truly love her, she needs you in her life right now more than she ever has. If you can, take her out of this environment, see if she is willing to take that step and let you help her. Good Luck to the both of you.

[MissRissa]

I agree. If she's living with them, the first thing she should do is move out, if she's over 18 I don't think that here parents can stop her. Those are horrible things to go through.

[tigerlily2782]

As a 19 year old girl, she does not have to live in that environment. She is of age, and nothing her parents can say if she would move out. Don't give up on this girl if you truly love her, she needs you in her life right now more than she ever has. If you can, take her out of this environment, see if she is willing to take that step and let you help her. Good Luck to the both of you.

I to think this as well she is 19 and is old enough to live whre she wants with who she wants DO NOT GIVE UP ON HER she neds you now...

[N0help4u]

I agree too she needs to leave home help her get things together enough that she can leave.
Her mother is controlling her and she is putting up with it maybe because she has no where to go. If she has somewhere to go and still won't leave then you may just have to give up on her.