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geordiebloke · Jul 16, 2009, 01:45 AM

Hi everyone I am quite new to this site anyway here goes my wife always likes to go out with her mates on the drink which I don't mind as the way I see it there is got to be trust in a marrige well what can I say my mother in law does not like me one bit well my wife went out on the drink and her mother picked her up and dropped her off well I noticed that a bloke came out of the car and kissed my wife and I don't mean a peck I mean full on now when I asked her the following day she advised me that he is just a mate well now I am totally disgusted and hacked off as in the past before I even got with her she used to always have 1 night stands well my head is in bits I don't know what to do if anyone has any advice please please do drop me a line either on here or my email address which is [Personal email address removed to protect your privacy.]

Clough · Jul 16, 2009, 01:59 AM

Hi, geordiebloke!

Greetings and WELCOME to the site! I just moved your question that you had posted in Introductions to this forum topic area so that it will get the most exposure to those who are best able to answer it. Introductions is for people to introduce themselves and we try to not ask questions there.

It can be a little confusing when first learning how to use this site! Your question will get noticed much more in this forum topic area.

We would appreciate it if you would return to Introductions sometime to tell us a little about yourself though, if you would be willing to do that.

Thanks!

ZoeMarie · Jul 16, 2009, 02:41 AM

It sounds like you need to sit down and talk to her, in a calm fashion if possible. People don't kiss their friends like that, at least that I'm aware of and she should know how you feel. See how she reacts if you suggest marriage counseling. If she wants to earn your trust back and work things out she'll do anything she can.

Romefalls19 · Jul 16, 2009, 04:41 AM

Forget talking, I'd be gone. First she cheats on you, then makes it sound like it's no big deal? Come on man, grow a pair and get out of this. This isn't out of character of her, she just has been hiding it and got caught this time.

lilangus · Jul 16, 2009, 04:44 AM

You saw her kiss him! He's NOT just a mate! She cheated! You saw it! Make a decision on your own about that I can't tell you what to do, but I'd leave her!

I wish · Jul 16, 2009, 06:10 AM

Facts:

1) She broke your trust.

2) She doesn't seem to think it's a big deal.

3) So it doesn't look like she's going to try to repair the trust.

Answers:

a) You could try again and hope she eventually tries to repair the trust.

b) You could leave her, because she doesn't show any signs of wanting to fix the marriage anyway.

You pick.

jmooney527 · Jul 16, 2009, 06:21 AM

Me personally, I would end it. I'm assuming that when you say more than a kiss you mean they were making out right?

Trust is a big thing, and when you cannot trust them anymore you seek resolution. If your wife knows it's bothering you and she does not offer any resolution to that matter, then you yourself need to seek resolution. She obviously is downplaying it and not recognizing your concern, so take matters to your own hands.

Leave and do not put up with this type of behavior. It's one thing if the trust is broken, but pointless if the person who breaks it shows no remorse.

kctiger · Jul 16, 2009, 06:25 AM

You can try to polish a turd all you want, in the end, it is still the same old stinky, nasty turd it was to begin with. You knew what you had in her and she has proven no different.

The biggest issue I see here is that she did it right in front of you... there is ZERO way that should fly. Rid yourself of her and move on. I can smell her from across the ocean.

Gemini54 · Jul 17, 2009, 01:27 AM

Married women don't usually have full-on snogs with 'mates'.

Talk to her. Ask her, again what's going on. She'll probably deny it, but you'll be able to gauge from her reaction what's going on - I hope.

Ask yourself if you're prepared to be in a marriage where you're suspicious of the other person. Ask yourself also, if there is anything that you are doing which might mean she would seek satisfaction outside the marriage.

In any case, you need to sort out with her what's going on - what does she want from the marriage and does she want to stay in it? What do you want from the marriage and do you want to stay in it?

talaniman · Jul 17, 2009, 09:34 AM

there is got to be trust in a marriage

How long have you been married, and how old are you guys.

Are you telling us her mother is helping her cheat on you??

You better explain that, as I think you're a wife beater, or something, to have all this drama, with your mother in law.