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lotsaluuv · Jul 8, 2009, 01:09 AM

How can I be of any support to my fiancé when I don't earn very much money and we are planning to get married next year? I rerally hurts that I don't have enough to be there for him financially.Please help.

justcurious55 · Jul 8, 2009, 02:25 AM

I've got to ask, what's going on in your relationship that you're feeling bad not being able to support him financially? In my opinion, marriage, relationships in general even, should be a two way street. I would think that you should both be supporting each other anyway you can. That's how it is with my boyfriend, especially when I comes to money. If I need something and I don't have the money, he gets it for me. And vice versa. Its not just me supporting him or him only supporting me. We work together.
And just because you can't support him one way doesn't mean you can't be supportive at all. Me and my boyfriend support each other academically. He's selling old textbooks right now so that I can have money for next semester. And I try to help him study and get after him so he doesn't procrastinate. There's got to be other ways you can be supportive.

I wish · Jul 8, 2009, 08:44 AM

Have you already made all the plans and arrangements for the wedding? If you really want to pay your share, then hold off the wedding until you have some savings. Have you found a job yet? Are you just waiting to get the paychecks so that you can start having some savings? Are you unemployed?

If your fiancé is willing, you can allow him to pay for most of the wedding and you can pay him back as you get your paychecks.

You should really talk to him about working out the financial details and what arrangements you can make so that you can pay him back sometime in the future.

talaniman · Jul 8, 2009, 09:08 AM

If you can't improve your earning power, then help him by living within your means, and don't stretch the budget with things you can do without.

Romefalls19 · Jul 8, 2009, 02:32 PM

Money isn't everything, be there emotionally, it means a lot more than finances. Tal's right, live within your means and it will all be okay.

makapuu · Jul 8, 2009, 03:01 PM

Finances can be a major strain on a relationship. I don't earn much money, and I'll probably drop out of school to work more. It's my decision so I can support myself, even though my boyfriend is willing to help me out financially.
Is your boyfriend making you feel guilty? Why are you hurting? Is he hurting?

justcurious55 · Jul 8, 2009, 10:30 PM

makapuu, getting an education is so important. It'd be a shame for you to drop out of school when it wasn't entirely, 100% necessary for you too. And there's so many more jobs that will be open to you if you finish your education. Good luck :)