[Cloud19]

I am 22 and I feel like I lost everything that made me at least at times happy. I've had to move recently because of financial and personal reasons. The personal reasons are that I've seen my friends group that I started with shrivel to just a handful, and they are more than likely not too happy with me at the moment, reason being is that a couple months ago my ex dumped me and I've honestly given her good reason to. At times I took out things that were bothering me on her, like finances, and she is a positive extrovert while I am a negative introvert. We could never get on the same page about things and she also was my first, so I honestly wanted a lot of sex. And when it inevitably ended I was left with myself and all those things I did wrong, being very selfish, introverted, and clingy. So when all of this happened, I had 3 good friends I could lean on, but leaned on them waaaaayyy too much, I became very I mpulsive, doing stupid things that I knew were stupid(txting them over and over, them being the friends), and just not wanting to be alone when I diddnt realize that I needed to be, at least for awhile. And when I got out to my new spot, I pelted them on myspace asking the same questions like have I done any good for you guys or what you been up to. I can put most of that on bordom, but not all of it. I feel terrible for how I acted and want my friendships with those two to be like it was( mob g back when finances are settled) and the other problem is that one of those friends is friends with my ex, as close as I was with said friend. I honestly don't have a problem with her being friends with her, I'm just worried about future complications it may bring about. Also on a side note I was not a total sob to my ex, I did try at times to make her happy but when I did it was rarely good enough, and she was not the nicest person at times either. So basically I am wondering if the situation is repairable, I don't have many friends and I want to keep the ones I have and repair the damage I've caused. I have not been able to stop dwelling on all of this and I need to stop.:(

[spiritcharms]

Could you not tell your friends how you feel and tell them what you've told us here. How sorry you are for the way you have treated them and your behaviour? If they are any good friends,then hopefully they will understand that you deeply regret and admit that you messed up!

[justwonderingPA]

Try and explain the situation to them and test the waters, validate their feelings and apologize. Everyone has their limits and acknowledge the fact that you realize that you were way too clingy and that you would like to move forward. On another note, no relationship will ever work out if your are in an unhappy, negative place with yourself. Use this time for introspection, go to a Bible-believing chruch, join a book group or some other avenue that enables you to get out of your own skin.