[Jake2008]

I do not think we are getting the entire story here.

That he was sent to jail for a week, when you did nothing but mess around, is suspicious in itself. Either you aren't telling the entire truth, or, he is already known to police, and has a record or convictions alrealy for child molestation.

It is highly unlikely that you are the first.

You are not dealing with a friend/boyfriend here, you are dealing with a man, committing a criminal act upon a 'child', whether you like it or not.

What you want, or think you want, has nothing to do with it. He is up on charges for molestation, which means they have enough to go through the effort and expense of trying him. I get the impression that you are pretty sure he's going to do jail time. There is more here than you are letting on.

If he had an otherwise clean record, and was just 'messing around', not honestly knowing your age and had no motivation other than getting to know you, he would not be facing jail time.

What makes all that you have said questionable, is that you do not see the difference between what has happened, and why you are a victim.

He set you up. He did and said all the right things. He was charismatic, sincere, patient, and convincing. He presented himself as a friend at work. Checked you out, saw that you were receptive to him. Worked on you, bought you a ring, did the phone thing, the chat thing.

What he didn't do was knock on your front door, meet your parents, or even offer to meet your parents, hang out with your friends, or you meet his family and friends. He eliminated obstacles. Kept his intentions hidden from everybody. Encouraged you to lie to your parents, and keep your plans to meet a secret. Keep your phone calls a secret, keep yourself in deeper and deeper denial from your normal world, and more and more immersed under his directives.

He fed you lines that no self respecting 20 year old woman would fall for. Or most younger woman either. That's why he chose you; you were receptive and willing.

He built this relationship on deceipt, and lies. He is not the person you think he is. He is not the person most intelligent adults would have anything but contempt for, including your parents, or rather, especially your parents. Or the campus cop, or the arresting officers, or the court system.

My guess is he more likely than not has had other girls, younger than yourself. You probably won't believe me, but the mere fact that he is being prosecuted should tell you that he is not an appropriate boyfriend, friend, or contact of any type.

My hope for you is that you will discontinue the relationship, and not be fooled by what he tells you. For him to convince you that this is love, is only to his advantage, because some day he will get out of jail, and you'll be waiting. You and probably others.

Please consider that you do not yet have the life experience of having had healthy relationships with boys your own age. You haven't experienced a relationship that is age appropriate.

If you allow yourself the luxury of growing up and dating boys your own age, up front, nothing hidden, that freedom is how you learn. Your age allows you to live, and to learn, what the differences are in different types of people. If you allow yourself to love, be loved, end relationships, start new ones, you eventually whittle out the duds, and land yourself a diamond.

That simply isn't going to happen with this guy. I hope further, that if you are able to break free of him, that you assist in helping other potential victims, by being honest with your testimony.

[ScottGem]

when i first added this thing it says to talk and type like ur in a chat room becuz if not people wont be interested so

I don't know where you read that, but its not the rules of this site.

Any further use of chat speak will result in punitive action.