OK I'm 16 and my friend kind of slash boyfriend is 21 and well I met him at work which I know is a bad thing but the first day I started and it was OK but the second day which was Feb 6 and well that's the day I met him and I knew something was going to happen like the song then by brad paisley but we stayed pretty close work body's ask about each other all the time ask what we did and about our family's and so on every time I worked he worked which was good I loved it but on April 11 I gave him my number that night he called we stayed on the phone for 9 1/2 hours we only got off then because I had to go to six flags yes I say it in a bad way because 4 once I didn't want to go but so on everything was amazing seen him at work and I took a college class and every Wednesday he would ride on his long board all the way across town to be with me and then only be with me like 5-10 min then I would have to go to class and then he would wait 1 hour 1/2 to 2 hours tell my 15 min break then he would leave t church and that was amazing he wrote me amazing love letters and poems he also gave me a bracelet that he also has one exactly like and he also gave me a cross that he has one exactly like it to and he also bought me a ring that says hope love and faith which are the three main words in our relationship and I say that he's my "the one" person but then reality finally caught up to us and the class before the last I decided to ditch and I've never ditched anything in my life so we were together for about 2 1/2 hours and then a campus cop walked up and everything went down from there no we have not had sex yes we did do stuff but not sex so he went to jail for a week when I went the next week got and a on my final and my class we told the cop everything we had done but that night we got caught since I never really talked to him on the phone because my mom found out how old he was and but thought we stopped talking but we didn't that night he gave me a phone and said to guard it with my life lol and well my mom still didn't know about it until a few days ago they found it and took it away well before that we got in arguments because she blames everything on him because I've been straight forward on everything and told her that I'm not a virgin and lost it many years ago of my own choice and also this year I haven't been doing great in math and I usually always get A's and B's but this year I did horrible in algebra 2 and pulled out with a d and they blame it on him well now tomorrow is court his contacted me since he got out had a little conversation every now and then and he says all the right things like he would give my life for me and go to jail a lot of times for me as long as we will be together in the end and there getting him for child molestation and his hearing is tomorrow and I don't know what to do or think right now I'm crazy in love with him and everything and well yeah I don't know what to think or do and specially my parents what they think of me and they band all phones from the house and everything so yeah I want to know if he goes in how long do you think it will be and any advise for me and what your opinion about the whole thing is

On the plus side, you are a smart girl. Before meeting him you did very well at school, as you said, and you were even taking a college class. Things were fine.

Have you ever heard the saying 'beware of a wolf in sheep's clothing'? What it means is a person who preys on people. How they do that is manipulate your thoughts, feelings, and actions in order to establish a relationship with you. Nice gifts, promises, thoughtful gestures like you pointed out of him riding across town to see you a few minutes before class, then waiting for a 15 min break. Charming, and overwhelming feelings of what you think are natural things that all people do, only he is an adult, and you are a child.

He knows this, and uses this to his advantage. He has learned that you will defy your parents, and keep his hope of having you to himself, alive. You think this is really love because nobody has treated you with such affection.

He knows, because he is an adult himself, that your parents are doing the right thing in protecting you, so he is also turning them against you, i.e. the phone he gave you to keep in touch with him. Why? To isolate you from them, to get you for himself.

It is innaproprate for a man, to pursue a relationship with a child. That's also the law, as you have found out. And it is there because you as a 16 year old, do not yet have the life experience of seeing men like this for what they are.

Because men like that are patient, you may think that this magical connection is going to last forever because he won't give up on his 'love' for you, and he knows you have fallen for him.

I am totally impressed with the campus cop. He did his job, and if you don't appreciate that now, someday you will. Don't you see that they've got enough to nail him for molestation? That is really, really sick, and you don't need any part of that.

I doubt you were the first, and you won't be the last. Please give serious thought to having luck this time in not letting the relationship continue. You are also fortunate to have parents that are both there to make sure he gets what is coming to him, and a cop who very well may have saved your life that night.

You can do much better, and learn what has happened was for a reason, there was an angel on your shoulder, and there is a lesson to be learned from all of this that will make you smarter the next time a man decides to pursue a relationship with you.

My opinion on this whole thing is yes your parents are going to add 2+2 equals your boyfriend = bad grades.
Yes your parents are going to do everything in their power to protect you from him.
You need to leave him alone. If he is really really serious about you he can wait until you are 18. Otherwise all you and him are going to do is have problems that will effect both of you for years to come if you were to stay together.

But I have a feeling that even if he really does care about you like he says that he is still manipulating you, like Jake said, even if he isn't purposely setting out to do that.

I guess I'm being hard headed about the whole situation or just not reading it clearly. But I think that there is nothing wrong with the age difference and they could possibly be in love. If a 70 year old man can fall in love with a 25 year old woman and it truly be love and not just a gold digger then how come two people five years apart can't fall in love.

With all of that said though, parents are only trying to protect their children from harm. A parent's love is so great that you will never know how great until you hold your own. I had to learn it that way, and I totally respect everything my parents done for me when I was younger.

You should always respect what your parents do and think. They are there for you when ever you need them and sometimes there when you don't want them to be. If they don't want you to be with this boy right now, wait until you turn 18... that is if the guy still wants to be with you. If it's love, he will wait.

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Originally Posted by sweet1028

But I think that there is nothing wrong with the age difference and they could possibly be in love. If a 70 year old man can fall in love with a 25 year old woman and it truly be love and not just a gold digger then how come two people five years apart can't fall in love.

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I do believe it is possible BUT, for one thing, the difference in age is she is a minor and doesn't have the experience to spot a perpetrator. She is too young to give informed consent. The same reason minors can not be legally bound and held to a signed contract.

First, while you may get get As and Bs in Math, I'm wondering what grades you get in English. Your post was horribly written. No sentence structure, no punctuation, no grammar etc. It was barely readable. If you want people the help you need to write coherently.

The only thing I got out of this is you and this guy got caught engaging in some form of sexual activity. Sexual Intercourse is only one part of sexual activity, so, while you may not have gone "all the way", you still had sex. If he is being charged with child molestation then you live in an area where 16 is under the age of consent. The street term is that you are "jail bait" and this guy should have know that.

I'm not sure whether he is a predator who took advantage of you, or whether he genuinely has feelings for you. But if he gets convicted of child molestation, then he will have to live with a sex offender record for the rest of his life.

So I hope he gets a good lawyer, because he's going to need one. The best he can probably hope for is to plea bargain down to a charge that will not brand him as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

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Originally Posted by sweet1028

I guess I'm being hard headed about the whole situation or just not reading it clearly. But I think that there is nothing wrong with the age difference and they could possibly be in love. If a 70 year old man can fall in love with a 25 year old woman and it truly be love and not just a gold digger then how come two people five years apart can't fall in love.

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Because, when one of those two people is a minor, they may have not formed the maturity to determine the difference between true love and infatuation. A 5 year difference is not a problem when both are adults. But when one is a minor, then it becomes a problem. People go through a lot of changes as they progress through their teen yeasrs. A 16 yr old is at a very different stage of life than a 21 yr old.

Do you think you should believe a guy who would go to jail over, and over for you, rather than wait, and do things the right way??

This 21 year old is not acting his age, so stop letting him drag you down, and keep you in trouble. That's not love, its sick, and illegal to handle your business in a way that leads to jail, or putting some one they claim to care about, down the wrong path.

Wake up!

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Originally Posted by sweet1028

If a 70 year old man can fall in love with a 25 year old woman and it truly be love and not just a gold digger then how come two people five years apart can't fall in love.

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I do agree with you hon, and it is very possible for a teen to fall in love with a 18-21 year old guy.

However, if it is REAL love, and he loves you back, then he should be MORE Than willing to follow the law and WAIT until you are 18 before starting a serious relationship with you.

I agree with everyone about her age and his. He should wait on her if he loves her rather than going to jail over her.

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Originally Posted by sweet1028

I agree with everyone about her age and his. He should wait on her if he loves her rather than going to jail over her.

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Apparently its too late for that. He's already been arrested and charged.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Apparently its too late for that. He's already been arrested and charged.

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He has? Where is that? I have been following this to try and find out what happens but I didn't see that.

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

he has? where is that? i have been following this to try and find out what happens but i didnt see that.

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From the OP:
"so we were together for about 2 1/2 hours and then a campus cop walked up and everything went down from there no we have not had sex yes we did do stuff but not sex so he went to jail for a week when i went the next week got and a on my final and my class we told the cop everything we had done but that night we got caught ... and they blame it on him well now tomorrow is court"

Its hard to find in that rambling mishmash but I took that as he's been charged.

Ahhh thanks scott :) I seem to have skipped over that whole line! *blush*

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ScottGem; First, while you may get get As and Bs in Math, I'm wondering what grades you get in English. Your post was horribly written. No sentence structure, no punctuation, no grammar etc. It was barely readable. If you want people the help you need to write coherently.

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Well I have got a's and b's my whole life and the same in english you know I'm not good in writing essays but still


OK thank you all for your answers I will think about everything

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Originally Posted by fwttygirl

well i have got a's and b's my whole life and the same in english u know im not good in writing essays but still

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First, we do NOT permit chat speak here. Second, if you wrote in school the way you write here, there is no way you would be getting As and Bs. Here is what you just wrote, but properly written:

Well, I have gotten a's and b's my whole life and the same in english. You know I'm not good in writing essays but still...

This has nothing to do with writing essays, this has to do readability and using proper structure. There are things like periods and commas, proper capitalization, etc. that help make what you write readable and understandable. If you want to have any sort of success at life, you will need to learn how to write using proper structure.

See I am wondering where abouts you are from in the world, because you say you're legal age of consent to have sex is 18? In England, it is 16. So from my point of view, you have done nothing wrong- I am allowed to have sex with a 21 year old at my age, and I am 16, just because the age of consent is different, why shouldn't you be able to?

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Originally Posted by ashleighcooper1

See I am wondering where abouts you are from in the world, because you say you're legal age of consent to have sex is 18? In England, it is 16. So from my point of view, you have done nothing wrong- I am allowed to have sex with a 21 year old at my age, and I am 16, just because the age of consent is different, why shouldnt you be able to?!

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This is one of the more assinine comments I have ever seen. Are you sure you are 16? I can see a comment like this from someone much younger.

First, as I have noted, this person has been arrested and charged. Therefore, wherever she is, she is under the age of consent for her area. People have to adhere to the laws that govern them. By your ridiculous logic, since the age of consent is as low as 14 in some parts of the world, then it would be OK for anyone over 14 to have sex. That's not the way it works.

Second, she didn't necessarily do anything wrong, she's the victim. It's the 21 year old that took advantage of her that did something wrong. He's the one being prosecuted, not the OP.

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Second, she didn't necessarily do anything wrong, she's the victim. It's the 21 year old that took advantage of her that did something wrong. He's the one being prosecuted, not the OP.

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I'm not a victim here I chosed to have this relationship and everything yes I have been sexually assaulted when I was younger but this one I have a say in and I want this relationship and I'm from California

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This has nothing to do with writing essays, this has to do readability and using proper structure. There are things like periods and commas, proper capitalization, etc. that help make what you write readable and understandable. If you want to have any sort of success at life, you will need to learn how to write using proper structure.

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u know I'm doing pretty good in life other then this I already can get a coaching job and a accouting job to and when I first added this thing it says to talk and type like your in a chat room because if not people won't be interested so go ahead all of you yes I might not write well but when I have to seem pretty important in a job I do pretty dam good

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Originally Posted by fwttygirl

im not a victim here i chosed to have this relationship and everything yes i have been sexually assaulted when i was younger but this one i have a say in and i want this relationship and im from california

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Your choice has landed him in trouble with the law. Whether you see yourself as a victim or not, the law does.

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Originally Posted by fwttygirl

u know im doing pretty good in life other then this i already can get a coaching job and a accouting job to and when i first added this thing it says to talk and type like ur in a chat room becuz if not people wont be interested so go ahead all of u yes i might not write well but when i have to seem pretty important in a job i do pretty dam good

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Don't know where this comes from, as someone gave you some bad advice. To be understood by all of us, chat, text speak is frowned upon and can be a reason for being deleted.

I also seriously doubt a teen ager has an important job, as anything but an assistant, and if you can write so well, do so here.

The issue you overlook is the law, and your parents don't recognise your authority to do anything you want, and your actions can land the guy in jail. Is it worth all that?? If it is, that's not love, and I hope your as mature as you say, and realise that.

Its not about what you want, but what's best for you, and that's up to your parents, and the LAW, whether you like it or not. Now stop being so defensive, because you can't get what you want, and none of us adults agree with you. We actually care that much that you do the right things for yourself, and no harm come to you, as do your own parents. Most of us have kids too,:eek: you know!! :cool: