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neenaweena7785 · Jul 2, 2009, 06:20 PM

I am asking for my husband. My step sons mother wants to move him from Ohio where he's lived all his life to Illinois, because her boyfriends job is getting transferred. She has a good job with health benefits for him that she is walking away from. Her boyfriend cannot carry insurance on him. She sent us a certified letter saying she is moving in August. And said that my husband will get him from July 15- aug 12 every year and that's it. He doesn't have shared parenting but a visitation court order with wed. and every other weekend and 4 weeks in the summer (appendix j). She messes up the court order all the time and doesn't go by it and we can't really afford to take her to court for contempt.. She has had previous contempts though. She has 2 children with her boyfriend and he has 3 other children with his ex wife. She has also had 2 accusations of child abuse against her from the mother of her bfs kids. She is trying to be sneaky and move him now because she thinks she can do what she wants. I heard if she goes ahead and moves she can place residency and he can't do anything about it. I thought that if she moved out of state she would have to follow appendix k. She says it is in the best interest for him.. but I think its for her boyfriend. He plays baseball every year and if he moves he can't play their cause he has to come here and he can't play here cause its too late in the season. All of his family on her side and ours all live here in the same town. That would not be in the best interest for him. He has told us that he doesn't want to move but when he gets around her she brainwashes him.. its really weird you know she like bribes him and stuff. We are not sure what to do. I know the court is backed up so if we file it will take 6 months to get in will she have to wait till then before she can move? All answers would be greatly appreciated!!

N0help4u · Jul 2, 2009, 07:16 PM

She is making up her own rules as she goes along. I do believe she is suppose to go through court to have any changes done. She can't just decide he will only get him July 15 through Aug 12. My daughters bf's mother moved from Ohio to Georgia and the Judge wouldn't even let her take her daughter. The Judge claimed that she was just moving to make it harder for the father to see the daughter.
Very likely a Judge would see that she is going after the best interest of the boyfriend and use that to your favor.
You say you can't afford to take this to court but I think this is one time that you can't afford not to take it to court. It will be much harder once she goes through with the move.

neenaweena7785 · Jul 2, 2009, 07:24 PM

I can afford this just not all of the contempts against her. He's going to file in court tomm. Hoping she won't be able to do anything.

stinawords · Jul 2, 2009, 08:21 PM

Your husband needs to go to court asap (and it sounds like he is so good job on that front). I wish you the best and please let us know how it works out and if you have anymore questions. It is always easier to nip thing in the butt than wait until something happens (in this case a move) to try to fix it.

neenaweena7785 · Jul 2, 2009, 09:38 PM

What does he file? The court can't give legal advice, he sold a few things today that meant the world to him just to have the money for the motion, we can't afford a lawyer, its 1200 bucks just to talk to one around here... with no guarantees that it can be stopped.

The mother has a full time job with full medical benefits, she will moving to Illinois and have no job, and no medical benefits... I just don't understand

N0help4u · Jul 2, 2009, 10:47 PM

Her moving without any means of income for herself could be in your favor because the Judge could look at it like 'what if they break up and she has no where to go and no way of supporting herself''.

neenaweena7785 · Jul 3, 2009, 03:40 AM

Well my husband is disabled and gets SSI, I don't think they will give him custody because of that!

neenaweena7785 · Jul 4, 2009, 06:32 AM

Update : We picked up his son on Friday at 7pm like normal, since it's a holiday weekend she is to have him on the 4th of July, court papers says she is to pick him up at 9am, as you can see 9am has come and gone, she isn't here yet, how long would you guys wait? I'm surly not obligated to sit here while she decides to get out of bed

N0help4u · Jul 4, 2009, 06:51 AM

If you can't get a hold of her to ask and it gets late and you have plans I would just leave a note that you waited all day but didn't want to ruin any of your plans. Take him to the fireworks if she doesn't get him before that.

Keep records of when she is doing things at her convenience rather than according to the court order.

neenaweena7785 · Jul 4, 2009, 07:15 AM

She does this often, and it just hurts him cause he was looking for ward to going to the 4th of July party with her, now it looks like I'm going to have to take him to the fireworks, that way he will at least get to enjoy himself!

N0help4u · Jul 4, 2009, 07:18 AM

Yeah. I hope you have been documenting all these incidents.