[pookishy]

Hi I just have a question. Im 20 years old and Ive never had sex before. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year and me and him very recently have tried to have sex. We ran into a problem though. We can't get him in. We've tried using lube and still nothing. Is there something wrong with me or is this something that happens to people who have never had sex, and is there something that we can do to help this? Thanks. Anything is helpful.

[Synnen]

Try more foreplay and being relaxed.

If that still doesn't work, see your gynecologist.

[danielnoahsmommy]

You really need to relax. Instead of him guiding himself in you should take control (maybe on top) go at your own speed.

[bronzebabe]

I agree. Relax. It will happen. Lots of foreplay will help you be relaxed.

[Gemini54]

Why don't you try putting your finger inside yourself and see if you can feel anything.

Do you use tampons? If you can insert a tampon and a finger and not come up against any obstruction, then you may just have a tougher than normal hymen.

However (I know it's embarrassing), but I would strongly suggest you visit your doctor, if only to talk about birth control and you can also use the opportunity to talk about the problems you're having.

I would also suggest that you use a water based lube and make sure you feel really 'wet' and aroused before he inserts his penis.

[shazamataz]

This can be a more common prblem than people think.
There are many reasons it could be hard for him to insert himself.

1) You may be nervous and actually clenching your muscles without realising. - The important thing is to be completely relexed and in a comfortable setting. Foreplay is one of if not the most impotant part of sex, it gets you "prepared" physically and mentally.

2) Your hymen may not be broken - Try inserting your finger into your vagina, if it is faily easy and there is no pain then it may not be your problem, don't be embarrassed about going and asking your doctor.

3) Not enough lubricant - if there is not enough lubricant penetration can be hard and even painful, try uswing something like ky jelly or even spit does the trick.

[mr899]

I think that you could need to finger yourself of use a dildo first.