[Elousia]

What would be the right ways to channel anger so that one doesn't bottle it up and make them bitter?

[artlady]

Anger is an expression of hurt and or fear or both.
Discover what the fear is and deal with it.
Knowing where the hurt or fear stem from is half the battle.

[liz28]

Tackle the problem(s) as it occurs instead of keeping it bottle in. Keeping it in will only make you explode.

Also, I have a boxing/kickboxing thing (sorry but I can't think of the name for it) in my basement that I hit whenever I feel like hitting someone or want to let go anger.

[simoneaugie]

Different approaches work for different people. For me, it's sound. The sound of a piece of electrical hose, or garden hose landing on a phone book is pure catharsis. When all the anger thumps into the poor phone book (which is imagined as the person or situation I'm mad about) the sound is very healing. Of course the shredded pnone book is a little visual treat.

[JBeaucaire]

Humans want to personalize everything. Your first best skill will be to find a way to disconnect issues from people.

If you can identify what is angering you and talk about it like a "topic" and not make the "Face" of the person who did it the target of your anger, you're halfway there.

The other half is being able NOT get your way and not feel like you've lost anything. This is why so many arguments go on forever. There's some sense of "loss" that is connected to the other guy getting their way. Apologies do as much for US as it does for the person we apologize to... and some people just can't do it... too much "feeling of power" goes away with it.

This is so sad. Happy relationships aren't created in this environment.

A wise person once said, "You can be happy, or you can be "right". You can't be both." That's true more often than I care to admit... than any of us do.

So, if you want to reduce the amount of anger you feel in life, find ways to make OTHER PEOPLE happy more important than making yourself happy.

A "happy household" is a group of people living together seeking each other's best interests over their own. They're all doing it. That's a house worth living in. Heck, that's a head worth living in.

Find ways to make people around you "look good". Start there. Don't worry about not getting your way if it make those around you "look good". This is the starting point.

[Elousia]

Interesting, interesting, I do agree, what if one were to channel some of the anger into a physical activity such as the above mentioned or going to a gym?

Great advice JB.

[Romefalls19]

I go to the gym, or go for a run. After I calm down, if I can, talk it out with the person. I let myself calm down so I can control myself better when talking about the issue

[slapshot_oi]

The best way to channel anger is communicating it to a close friend who actually listens and understands. It's cathartic and vocalizing your own feelings helps you to figure out why you feel so angry. Hence my presence at AMHD.

At least this is what does it for me. I've tried the going to the gym and hobbies too, but if I'm too pissed off I can't concentrate on what I'm doing, and then when I can't do the task it just increases my anger and stuff gets broken. But, the gym and hobbies do help me if I'm feeling blue.

[Mazdadude07]

Paintball Tournments! Or Call of Duty! Lol

I found working out was good for me, particularly running, the pain your body will go through for the first week, does a pretty good job of taking your mind off that thing that makes you angry.

[Jake2008]

I get those little dollar books at the local dollar store, just small notebooks.

When something gets me angry (sometimes I'm not even aware why I'm in a really bad mood), I write out the day. Who was in it, what happened, what they were like, what I did, what I didn't do. 9 1/2 times out of 10 after I get it all out of my system on paper, I can clearly see what caused my anger that day.

If you are, on the other hand, talking about uncontrolled anger that happens when you are disciplining a child, or confronting your wife about the surprise zero bank account balance, that is something else again.

If you go from zero to 60 in less than 10 seconds, there are ways to recognize that, and control it.

If you don't deal with it at all, avoidance is not a solution. If you are angry with someone and can't get the words out, write them a letter, send an email after you have thought things through. If, after writing it out it seems petty and/or innapropriate, delete it. If not, send it and hope that a response will clear the air, or solve a problem.

Sometimes people don't know there is a problem if they are met with silence. It is a choice to remain silent and avoid confrontation, and not always the best course of action.