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nicolemarie0708 · Jun 16, 2009, 01:15 PM

Well lets start of with this. I met my daughters father in high school, he's always smoked pot and drank it never bugged me until our daughter was born. We broke up when she was 3 months old. He has been in and out of her life for months at a time. Barely calling or emailing. He just now started paying child support cause they garnish his wages and make him pay back child support. Our daughter is almost 3 now, one time he went 8 or 9 months without seeing her calling or emailing me to see how she's doing. I think he had her one time when she was 8 months old, for aweekend. And then I went to California to visit and our plans got all messed up and my friend who was watching skylar couldn't any more so her dad had to step in. He had her for 2 weeks, the whole time calling me asking if I can find a babysitter cause he wanted to go to the bars and such. I got back February 3rd I asked him if we could move to California he said OK. He didn't argue nothing, so we moved to California February 17th. It is now June 16th. Hes called, maybe 5 times? Maybe 6? He texts me asking what I'm doing and stuff rarely about our daughter. I am married now to a great guy who's stationed over here in California as a marine and he wants to adopt her. Is there any way to get his rights taken or get him for abandoment? He won't sign over rights I ask him all the time. It never works, I don't know why but he's holding onto some want to be a dad but can never do it?

stevetcg · Jun 16, 2009, 02:00 PM

Honestly, if he won't do it, there is almost no chance it is forced, particularly if he has not harmed the child.

cdad · Jun 16, 2009, 07:48 PM

He hasn't abandoned his child. Im not sure who might be telling you this but if he's paying support.. forced or not then he IS supporting his child. And to allow an adoption your going to need his permission.

stinawords · Jun 16, 2009, 08:01 PM

As said he didn't abandon the child and you will need him to agree to the adoption for it to happen. There is a sticky at the top of the page (where all the questions are listed) that goes over the very common misunderstanding of abandonment please read it. It is possible for a child to grow up with a step-parent and as an adult think of their step-parent as more of their parent than their biological one. Kids know who is there for them through everything.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 16, 2009, 08:07 PM

Sorry he is a poor father,

But as long as he is paying ( even if being forced) child support that is not considered abondoment.

BUT, even if he was not paying, this is normaly used as a tool to force him to pay, or to lock him up for non payment of support.

Many states even have rules that merely not paying support or not visiting can not be used to take away rights.

He will have to sign over his rights to allow step father to adopt.

** andit is great he wants to, he is a wonderful man for wanting to be the legal father.

Since the child support stops when the child is adopted, it looks like he would sign to be able to stop paying