[palms64]

Hey everybody, this is my first post here. The only reason I've resorted to posting here is because I'm looking for answers but I can't seem to find the right ones. This is the situation where all my sorrow spawns from. I am a senior in high school. Last year, (my junior year) I met a girl. She was a foreign exchange student from the Czech Republic. I started to get to know her over the 2nd semester. Things somehow started moving along, and we ended up falling in love with each other. It's odd, because I never thought I'd end up liking a european. As we all know, foreign exhange students have to go back home sometime, and we both knew that at one point in time she'd have to return to the Czech Republic, halfway across the world. And that day has come. Last Friday, I saw her off at the airport. It was possibly the hardest and most terrible thing I have ever experinced. I have lost the girl of my dreams. She's gone. I feel so miserable. I miss her so much it hurts. I have shed far too many tears in the past few days. I've had friends tell me to "Don't cry because it's over, but smile because it happened." I like that quote. I wish I could take it to heart, like all my friends have advised, but every time I try, it just ends up backfiring on me and I remember that she is gone, and it just adds to my pain. Just a week ago, we were hanging with each other. We were laughing, we were sharing, we were happy. But now that she is gone, I can't go an hour without thinking about her. To make matters worse, I can't call her, because international calls are ridiculously expense, and I don't have that kind of money. I can't email her very often, because she doesn't have internet access cause her family is rebuilding their house. I'm going to start sending her letters, but that doesn't make me feel much better, because it will take 5 or so days for my letter to reach her, and it will take time for her to write back, and then it will take another 5 days for her reply to reach me. That's almost two weeks to hear get a written reply from her. I've been sending her two to three massive emails a day, because I am constantly bored and all I can do it think, telling her about how I'm feeling and what's happening in my life. I have told her that I miss her so much it hurts and that I love her hundreds of times. I was lucky enough to get 3 short emails from her this morning. She got her hands on a computer with internet connection somehow. In her emails she told me she missed me. She told me she still loves me. It's only been 4 days since she left, but it feels like it's been weeks. I am working to earn enough money to visit her in the Czech Republic next year. This is a goal I am determined to reach. I want to see her again, and I will. I will do whatever it takes to earn the money to visit her. I need to be able to miss her without it killing me. I need to be happy again, but I want to be able to still love her. I don't want to sacrifice my love for her if it means letting her fade into my memory. I want to be able to "smile because it happened." I want to be able to move on in life without losing an ounce of my love for her. Does anyone have some advice for me?

[TJ17]

Everyone has felt this at one point in there life, I've felt it to, your stomach feels like it's twisting in knots, your chest feels like it's going to explode and you want to scream at the top of your lungs... and inside you feel as if something has been taken from you, and you feel so sad, sadder than you've ever felt in your life.
A lot of feelings are going through you, to many to comprehend, because to do so hurts.

You feel so alone even though your surrounded by family and friends, because all you want is that one person who made you smile, held your hand and told you they love you.

Because without them you don't feel complete.

We've all gone through that at one point in our lives and we've all handled it differently, but if you truly want to be with this person and they with you, then it will happen... because you'll both make it happen.
As for the pain of being separated, well you have to live with that I'm afraid, because that's what being human is all about... "Love does Hurt" ;)

[palms64]

So there's nothing I can do to ease the pain any faster? How long does this process normally take? I know she wants me to be happy, even if (ugh, I hate saying this) I have to get over her. But I don't want to get over her. I know I need to move on with life, but I love her and I want to her to know that I love her. As I move on with life and "get over her," my love for her will decay as time goes on. I don't want that to happen. I also know I need to start going on dates with other girls again, but that just makes me feel bad. She loves me so much, and I'm going out with other girls? That's just not right. I seem to be stuck. I need to get a move on with my life, and to do so she can't be such a big part of it. But I want her to be a big part of it, because when she was, my life was the best it has ever been. I'm trying to find a compromise between these two options, but I'm having an extremely hard time doing so.