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lonely princess · Jun 9, 2009, 11:10 PM

Hi, I have a dilema... I recently broke off a long term relationship... I had a hard time getting over it. In fact I am still struggling with the fact that my boyfriend and I are no longer a couple... well, last weekend I went out of town to visit a friend who happens to be married. To make a long story short we wound up in bed yikes! He wants to continue with things... but honestly I am feeling so confused. I admit, I have some feelings for him, but I know he's married. What to do? How do I handle this? I don t want to lose my friendship with him but at the same time I don t want to get wrapped up in something I can t handle.

TJ17 · Jun 9, 2009, 11:28 PM

Personally I don't like cheaters, there's just something about them that gets under my skin... I think it's because they ruin there partners life, the person that loves them.

And if you don't want to disturb a hornets nest I would suggest you not get involved with a married man, because you might be the one who ends up in a whole world of hurt if the wife finds out... and her family.

But hey, it's your life right?. but a decent person would do the decent thing and that's walk away before it gets out of hand even more, but I don't know you, so I can't be a judge of your character.

Once a cheater, always a cheater, you should do well to remember that if he's doing it to his wife.

taoplr · Jun 10, 2009, 12:42 AM

You have already lost your friendship with him. He is now a problem to you, and you are a problem for him. Don't go any further. Cool down, face reality, and keep it to yourself.

Rebound love affairs with married people never work. Be glad you can drop this quickly. In 5-10 years, if you still want to, you and he can be friends.

redhed35 · Jun 10, 2009, 02:37 AM

Friend with benefits?
There are no benefits here,only heartache for all parties..
Take some time to get over your ex,your vunerable right now stay away from this man and get your life back on track. If you continue seeing this man your life will only become more complicated.

slapshot_oi · Jun 10, 2009, 05:00 AM

taoplr's right, the friendship's already over. You shouldn't expect much from a guy who will cheat on his wife.

Romefalls19 · Jun 10, 2009, 05:24 AM

The friendship is forever changed, you need to leave this guy alone as there is a lot of emotional dust that can be set off by sticking around.

Holly23 · Jun 10, 2009, 05:28 AM

Well the friendship is already changed forever now.And yes you are in over your head.
Hel just do it to you anyway if you were to stay with him.So don't.

I wish · Jun 10, 2009, 06:55 AM

Originally Posted by lonely princess

I don t want to lose my friendship with him but at the same time I don t want to get wrapped up in something I can t handle.

What friendship could you possibly be referring to? He's willing to cheat on his wife with you. You seem like his mistress to me. If he was your friend, he wouldn't have allowed you to become an accomplice in his cheating world.

You're right. This isn't something you can handle. So GET OUT!

nikosmom · Jun 10, 2009, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by lonely princess

...To make a long story short we wound up in bed yikes! He wants to continue with things...but honestly I am feeling so confused. I admit, I have some feelings for him, but I know he's married. What to do? how do I handle this? I don t want to lose my friendship with him but at the same time I don t want to get wrapped up in something I can t handle.

What are you confused about exactly? He's married. I can tell you this with certainty: He will not leave his wife for you. How do I know? you ask. Well you said this guy was your friend... so if he wanted to be with you then he would've done so by now. I'll tell you this much, even if you and he were meant to have an everlasting relationship, this would not be the way to start it.

What you have on your hands is an opportunist. He took advantage of you while you were reeling from your recent breakup. Of course you think you have feelings for him; he was your friend and you're looking for someone to replace your ex.

What do you do?- well you step away from the situation and work on your own healing. You let him work out whatever marital issues he's having with his wife.

88sunflower · Jun 10, 2009, 08:21 AM

Stay away from him and the pile of hurt that will errupt if you don't. Think of his wife and how she might feel if she finds out. If he were a true friend he never would have put you in this position. He would have kept you as just a friend. He is selfish and took advantage.

roxypox · Jun 10, 2009, 09:06 AM

did I read you correctly?

you ended up in bed with your frined who is married? And you are actually wondering/considering to continue things?

Seriously, he is married
1. = of limits
2. = taken
3. = has a wife
4. = has made some pretty serious vows to that wife
5. = why would you want to be is piece of a$$ on the side??

talaniman · Jun 10, 2009, 09:18 AM

You have let your heartbreak over a break up lead you down a stupid dangerous path, and now you are a victim of a lying cheating b@st@rd who has found a weak kitten to take advantage of.

Run as far from him as you can, to a safe place you can heal, and get your act together. If you think he is a friend, your crazy as a betsy bug!!

roxypox · Jun 10, 2009, 09:49 AM

After Reading Tals post I would like to ad something... are you considering this as a rebound?

This is a bad idea all over! Break ups are hard! And you call yourself lonely princess and I'm guessing that there really is something to that.

To go down a path where you sleep with a friend of your who has a wife... it's not going to swallow and bury your loneliness, or kill whatever pain you might be feeling after the break up. Its only going to make things worse.

Why would you want to be the other woman, lose a friend and hurt yourself and his wife in the process?