[randomguy19]

***My step dad has stolen from my grandmother on several occasions***


Hello Readers, I need some input and insight from people outside of this situation. My mother and her husband (my step dad) have been married about 15 years. Like any relationship, there has been many ups and downs. In the beginning of their marriage, he was happy, nice, and enjoyed going out with my mom. Through the years however, he gradually became a negative person. He never acted as a father to me growing up, never took me places, hit me in the head when I did something petty, and he had said some pretty mean things to me. But then again, he's also been "there". I had no real father figure as my father died right after my mom and my step dad got married (I was in the first grade). In 2001, we lost our house because he had stopped paying the bills for an entire year. We were not aware of this, until we received a letter in the mail. We lost our house. My two older brothers who had their own houses had helped us. However, they warned my mom if she took him back that they were "done" with her. She decided to stay with him, and my brothers stuck to their words. About two-three years ago my grandma moved in with us. A year ago, my step dad was caught stealing money from her account. He used her checks to write himself money. My uncle had spotted this and told my mom. She smacked him on the hand, and decided to stay with him again. My uncles became furious and started to hold grudges and silence against my mom. Recently, all of this had healed. About 3 weeks ago, my uncle once again caught him stealing money (20,000). My mom kicked him out for about 1-2 weeks and he's back. She wants to work it out with him, and this time I recommended marriage counseling. He had agreed. My grandma has a hard time accepting it, and declared that she was moving back to her house. My uncles do not know that she is staying with him again. My mom continued to reassure my grandma that she wants her to stay with us. And my grandma said that she will "continue to put up with it, for her". Because I'm an over reactor to stress, my mind is hurting trying to think of "the best" solution. I'm 21 years old, and a full time college student. I have been thinking a lot lately on leaving. I have no place to go, and I have no job. Our house is also being shared with my cousin Kelly, her husband, and their 16 year old daughter. They have been with us for two years, and this situation is no better. So I'm dealing with stress from two sides. I would like to hear your input on what you think my mom should do, and what you think I should do. Regardless of what I think, I believe she will stay with him. Hearing advice makes me feel better, as other people are giving different opinions. If you need more information about the situation, please ask. I can go into longer detail if needed. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS!! :(:(:(:(:confused:

[simoneaugie]

Your Grandma has make her bed and is content to lie in it. Your Mom supports her. That's their stuff, not yours.

Your Cousin Kelly and her family also stay at your house. Your Mom is supportive of them too. That's not your stuff either.

All of this extended family is in your face and under your feet. Their issues may be connected to yours. That connection is your stuff. How you deal with it is your responsibility.

Your Mom is awesome. Quit carrying her burdens, she's fine with it. Help with chores and do your own laundry. Be respectful and polite (not saying you're not.)

Ask yourself, "did I do it?" If you didn't, it isn't yours. Realizing where you stop and others begin frees you to be the best family member you can be. Learn your own boundaries, defend them respectfully.

[jmjoseph]

Buy yourself a "hula hoop" , lay it down on the floor, and stand in the middle. Say to yourself " I'm responsible for everything inside of this circle, everything on the outside is out of my control" accept the things you cannot change. Concentrate on your studies, and live a healthy, successful life. GOD bless you my friend.

[Ren6]

If your grandma has her own house, why is she living in yours? If I were you, I'd pack up and move with grandma back to her house... and change all her account numbers, as well!