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sunshine724 · Jun 1, 2009, 11:12 AM

How do u regain trust when someone can't trust u anymore

CrazyThumper · Jun 1, 2009, 11:16 AM

Hi Sunshine,

Hmm... for starters-how about figuring out what you did to LOSE their trust and make sure you NEVER do that again. Trust is not something to be toyed with. Trust/Open communication are to ME two of the most important elements to a good & healthy relationship. Once it is broken, it is often very hard to regain. Now, with that being said.. if the person you are trying to regain their trust means A LOT to you, you will do whatever it takes to show them you want a second chance, etc. But first things first... what did you do to lose their trust, and is it something that you could see yourself doing again?

But yes I believe it is possible if both people are open minded and willing to forgive/learn from mistakes.

Thumper

liz28 · Jun 1, 2009, 02:41 PM

Trust is difficult to gain but even harder to rebuild after it is lost.

If you say you have forgiven, it would be unfair for you bring up past mistakes and tease or taunt the person. Let the past stay where it belongs. So don't throw past events back at them.

Next don't throw out threats! Threats and warnings such as "if you ever do this again..." or "you're lucky I'm giving you another chance..." will not help the relationship. Be open about what you expect from him but in a simple and honest way.

And last but not least, allow the him/her time to reconcile and prove themselves trustworthy again. This process that will not happen over night and may actually take a long time to regain completely. Remember that regaining trust is a healing process. You shouldn't expect things to get better quickly. It will take time and effort on both ends if you hope to carry on a healthy relationship and learn to trust again.