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krazyLadii · May 30, 2009, 09:37 PM

Hello, I am new to this site and I'm not quite sure where to begin...
I have been with my boyfriend for about 1 year and 5 months and I have done some things I'm not proud of and he knows most of it. And yet he still wants to be with me.. I love him and he loves me but he is the first real boyfriend I have ever had. Well he's my first for a lot of things but I feel like I'm missing out on something, I don't particularly want to be in a relationship with someone else but I do want to be with other people physically like hooking up and stuff, I want to experiment. But I love my boyfriend and I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to leave him.. does this make me a bad person? What should I do? :confused:

N0help4u · May 31, 2009, 05:51 AM

You are not ready for him. Be fair with him and break up.
If you can not shake these feelings it will only get worse years later when you look back and feel you were cheated and now you have to live a role you want an escape from.

I know a few girls that got married feeling like you do and then years later told their husband or boyfriend they needed a break to go find themselves.

You need to find yourself and be complete in who you are before you can have a truly great relationship.

kmr1763 · May 31, 2009, 06:14 AM

I can't tell you that I completely agree with No Help... You're cheating your boyfriend. He deserves someone who appreciates him, and you're not at that point right now. I understand where you're coming from, my husband was my first for many, many things, but I appreciate his qualities to the point where I don't feel like I'm missing out-- You should feel that way, too, or else get out of the relationship and start living it up!

kmr1763 · May 31, 2009, 06:15 AM

I mean that I DO completely agree with her.

krazyLadii · May 31, 2009, 10:03 PM

OK thank you so much, but I'm not very good at break ups. I have tried to break up with him before but it always ends the same way; he starts to cry and I start to cry and I feel guilty so I apologize and tell him how much I love him and that I don't want to break up. Wats the best way to handle it?

Wondergirl · May 31, 2009, 10:07 PM

Who's breaking up with whom, and why?

JustLaw · May 31, 2009, 10:19 PM

It's hard but you have to overlook the tears. If you really don't want to be with him then you have to stand firm and tell him... that you want to be fair and that you are staying with him because you don't want to hurt him.

It's hard to say without knowing more of the story.

Gemini54 · Jun 1, 2009, 02:03 AM

Simply put, it's not fair to stay with him while you're yearning for something you don't have.

If you want other relationships, or you want to experiment, then you need to do this without putting him at risk. This probably means not being with him.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Be honest with yourself about what you want and don't delude yourself that you can have everything. It's nice to have the safety of a relationship, but you need to make a choice about what you really want.

Romefalls19 · Jun 1, 2009, 05:30 AM

The hardest thing and the right thing are the same here. You need to break up with him because you are not ready to handle a serious relationship yet. It's not your fault, a lot of people go through this, I don't want to say it's common but it's not scarce either.

Simply tell him, I do love you but I want to experience life more before I settle down in a relationship. I am sorry for the pain I caused, but I don't want to look back and regret or resent you for this.

talaniman · Jun 3, 2009, 09:24 AM

I want to experiment. But I love my boyfriend and I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to leave him.. does this make me a bad person? What should I do? :confused:

Be honest with yourself and be honest with him and give him his freedom to heal and move on and be happy, while you experiment.

Then you would not be a bad person.

roxypox · Jun 3, 2009, 12:28 PM

I understand that its hard... and that you feel guilty, but like the others said... it is important that you stand firm and tell him that you want to break it off.

It won't be good for either of you to stay in a relationship when you don't want to be in one! (I've been where you are... one one hand you don't want to hurt the other persons feelings, but at the same time you want to take a look around... It's a bad place to be, and the only fair thing is to let the other person go. Even if it makes them sad!)