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    ntt1984's Avatar
    ntt1984 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 27, 2009, 05:58 PM
    Sex with my boyfriend
    Me and my boyfriend Have been together on and off for seven yrs. We just recently got back together from a two month break up and now he's back living with me and he won't have sex with me... why? And he doesn't want to talk about it
    ajGambino's Avatar
    ajGambino Posts: 317, Reputation: 97
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    #2

    May 27, 2009, 06:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ntt1984 View Post
    he doesnt want to talk about it

    He needs to. If you guys want a relationship, communication is key. Talk to him about it.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #3

    May 27, 2009, 08:14 PM
    Doesn't sound too good to me.

    On and off for 7 years. Two month break. Doesn't want sex.

    I can't tell you why he doesn't want sex - there might be a million reasons.

    The only way you'll find out is by talking (not nagging).

    Why is he back after 2 months?
    What causes the break-ups?
    How does he see the relationship?
    How was your sexual life previously?
    What does he want for the future?
    Is he happy?

    These are the things that you need to talk about, because it sounds as if you're in a dysfunctional cycle and you need to break out of it to progress forward.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    May 27, 2009, 08:19 PM

    If he won't tell you then you'll never know.

    If you don't start talking soon, you'll be off again.
    nikosmom's Avatar
    nikosmom Posts: 1,611, Reputation: 488
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    #5

    May 27, 2009, 08:34 PM

    We can't possibly know why he won't have sex with you. As Gemini mentioned, there could be millions of reasons.

    More importantly, ask yourself if you're happy. It's quite possible that you're so "comfortable" being with this guy that you're settling for a not-so-good relationship.

    Why on and off all this time? How old are you two? The reason that I ask because after 7 years you should be able to communicate better than you are. You should know what's going on with the relationship. If you two aren't solid after all this time, it may be time to rethink the situation. Where do you see this going?

    Just a few things to think about...
    Beautiful_Jenn's Avatar
    Beautiful_Jenn Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    May 27, 2009, 09:01 PM

    Every relationships have there ups and downs and for some men its hart for them to express there feelings believe me I know thats the same way it is with me and my hubby and were married now but you need to tell him that if he loves you and he dont have someone elles or some thing he dont want you to get if you know what I mean he needs to stop being like that and talk about it let him know your not gonna play his little games and just couse yall are off and on dont mean that you have to take his crap. Just stay strong and keep your head up.. Stuff like this needs to be talked about
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #7

    May 27, 2009, 09:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful_Jenn View Post
    Every relationships have there ups and downs and for some men its hart for them to express there feelings believe me I know thats the same way it is with me and my hubby and were married now but you need to tell him that if he loves you and he dont have someone elles or some thing he dont want you to get if you know what I mean he needs to stop being like that and talk about it let him know your not gonna play his little games and just couse yall are off and on dont mean that you have to take his crap. Just stay strong and keep your head up.. Stuff like this needs to be talked about
    Ouch!

    Hi Jenn, welcome to AMHD.

    Just a tip. Please don't post in color, it's hard on the eyes and most people won't even bother to read what you've written.

    Black is best, it's easy to read, not hard on the eyes.

    There are smilies available to spice up your post. :)

    Thanks and again, welcome to AMHD. :)
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #8

    May 27, 2009, 09:21 PM

    If he doesn't want to talk about it then you would never know and nobody on here are mind readers.

    So now not only is sex missing from this relationship but communication is.

    Sometimes it isn't good to be with someone just because your familiar with them. Sometimes things don't work out as planned and you should know this by now because the two of you broke up how many times? Sometimes when something is broken it is best to go out and get a new one instead of trying to fix it.

    So the I guess the it is a count down until the two of you are back off again. And the question is, "what is going be your next move?"

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