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sgsab2009 · May 22, 2009, 03:42 AM

Husband accuses me of cheating

Aaro · May 22, 2009, 03:43 AM

Well are you?

nitelight198073 · May 22, 2009, 03:46 AM

If you are shame on you if not... usually means he has a guilty conscience, either ge is or wants to,, are you doing anything that can make him think you are or is he just insecure

Romefalls19 · May 22, 2009, 05:30 AM

Well, we need more information on this. Background details and such

dreamingartist · May 22, 2009, 06:02 AM

Just because he is accusing you don't mean he is guilty of cheating, although it does mean there is something that has happened in your relationship that has broken the trust.

Is there anything that you can relay that could cause breach of trust in your relationship?

Whatever it is, if you have no trust in your relationship then it won't work. When I lost trust in my relationship with my X, things that use to not bother me, started to bother me. Even having her tell me stuff on the phone like "oh I was with my girlfriend at dinner" but I think she was with some guy. If we never lost our trust to begin with, then she would tell me one thing, and I would have no reason "not" to believe her.

But first and foremost, are you actually cheating?

also.. cheating can take on multiple forms. Some people won't agree that kissing is cheating, but others will. Some can say there is physical cheating, emotional cheating.

If you text message a guy and say stuff you wouldn't want your BF to read then it could also be construded as emotionally cheating, etc... but others would disagree and base it on sex.

sgsab2009 · May 22, 2009, 06:56 AM

No I am not cheating. He wants to know where and what I am doing 110% of the time when we are apart. Here's one he accused me of keeping secrets because I paid the monthly car insurance and didn't tell him. He thinks every time we have a disagreement I want a divorce. He believes that a marriage should be happy all the time. The other day I was using the weeder to trim and he said let me show u how to weed and took over what I wanted to do. I own a 96 acre farm and I go outside to help out with the animals and when we are done we come inside and he sits down to take a nap but the inside house stuff is all left to me to do -- wash clothes clean make dinner etc.

nitelight198073 · May 22, 2009, 07:00 AM

I would suggest counseling because it seems that neither one of you are happy... how long have you been together?

I wish · May 22, 2009, 07:11 AM

We're only hearing your side of the story. You make yourself sound like an innocent victim. Accusing someone of cheating is very serious and is it possible that you've done something that might have made him suspicious?

If you are as innocent as you say you are, then he's got a really big personal problem. He sounds extremely controlling. You should definitely address this problem before it gets any worse. Take it up with him first, but I'm not sure if he's going to listen to you.

Either way, there has a been a huge breach of trust in this relationship. He obviously doesn't trust you and I don't see how you can by happy with this situation.

It's time to put your foot down. I don't think that you should tolerate his behavior at all. It's time to find some solutions instead of dragging it out and hoping the problems will correct themselves.

sgsab2009 · May 22, 2009, 07:38 AM

More: I am wife #4 he has been with over 20 women. He is 43 and has 6 kids that he knows about owes back child support and money to the IRS

nitelight198073 · May 22, 2009, 07:40 AM

Wow girl um that is not a very good track record at all and he don't trust you it should be the other way around

roxypox · May 22, 2009, 07:54 AM

I also recommend counseling,

He does seem very controlling, but of course we only hear your side of the story... but if you're not able to solve the problems between you; just the two of you, then counseling is a good option.

As for work devision, if you feel that the work devision in your household is unfair then that's something you need to address.

Maybe the two of you can sit down and have a tlk about the main cause for your marital problems; so far you have mentioned that he owes child support, he wants to know where you are at all times, he has accused you of cheating and you express above that you do must of the work inside the house. Of course this is the sort of thing I would do (I love lists) but maybe the two of you can make a list over the main issues that needs to be addressed and worked on between the two of you.

It does seem that neither of you are at a happy place right now and that def. needs to be talked about...

liz28 · May 22, 2009, 07:56 AM

Have he always been this way?

Maybe he might be guilty of something.

I must say your plate is very full at the moment and maybe you should've picked a better partner.

He owes back child support for his 6 kids--this reason alone will make anyone angry and crappy. Maybe one of his others 3 wives cheated on.

All I see is debt, resentment, and misery coming out this marriage.

dreamingartist · May 22, 2009, 10:24 AM

I know a guy who is recently divorced and is seeing 3 or 4 girls at once. He has been with 20 + women in 3 months... maybe more... and one of the 20 girls he is with, didn't call or whatever, and he thinks she is cheating on him.

So a guy who is cheating on 7 girls and been with 20+ others thinks 1 girl is cheating on him... and she isn't. No wonder why he feels so untrusting in relationships...

talaniman · May 22, 2009, 10:43 AM

Is it any wonder he has had 3 failed marriages? Didn't you know what your were getting into? What made you think he would change for you?

Its obvious you will have to stick by your guns, and not take his bad behavior.

N0help4u · May 22, 2009, 12:25 PM

3 failed marriages very likely should tell you why they dumped him was the way he is with you.

Often when guys accuse it is because they are guilty of the things they are accusing you of to ease their guilty conscious.