[shortandsmall]

We are writing sonnets in english class and I was woundering if my sounded right.

I Spend My Nights In

A colorful new world, rich and warm
Of the purple's sunrays. Ponds of chocolate
So thick' n' creamy shape shift themselves to form
Into bars. I am the queen the worlds my puppet
My imagination the stage. Where laughter
Rings I sit on my thrown and talk with my friends
We sing we dance to our happy ever after.
As the stars disappear our gathering ends
But that’s not for a while now so we go hand in hand
To the bubble gum tree to collect our favorite flavors
We loudly march into town, for this is our land
And we do as we please so we act as dinosaurs
And enjoy life by playing and laughing
For we are happy and that is everything.





What do you think of it? What are some benifual corrections I can do?
In case you haven't guess its suppose to be a child's dream of candly land

Thanks so much:)

[Lightning55]

Rings i sit on my thrown and talk with my friends

Do you possible mean throne?

Maybe you could find better words for the last two lines. They really didn't flow as much as the rest of the sonnet.