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xenafan2007 · May 13, 2009, 05:11 PM

I have a situation going on with an ex-boyfriend whom I am still close with. We dated 2 different times. The first time I broke it off cause I was scared because of the feelings we both were developing for one another and I was only 18. We got back together about 11 months later and everything was going great until one night we got into a fight and he broke it off. He wouldn't talk to me for a couple months and then everything began to get better. In June 2008 he dated a girl for a couple days and then broke it off with her and the same night came to my place telling me how sorry he was for something's that were said the day before and how special I was and how special everything between us was. Since that night we have been close and intimate off and on. In march of this yr I started to talk to him about officially getting back together and he said that right now in his life it isn't right cause he as a lot of things to get right in his life. Well about a month later something was brought up again to him and now he says that due to an upcoming deployment he thinks it would be to hard to have a relationship. I'm really torn on what I should do. I would love to be able to have a slow relationship with him and build from it. He says he has thought about us and the way he treats me and acts around me show me signs that he does still have feelings for me. Its just getting really hard to wait around. I really do love him very much and would love to have afamily with him someday. Is he just pulling me along or is he just afraid of commitment?

xenafan2007 · May 13, 2009, 05:20 PM

I also forgot to add there that one time I told him that I wasn't sure I could be friends with him cause it hurt too much and thought it best he was out of my life. Well that wasn't the best thing to do. He became very depressed and hurt by it...

superk · May 13, 2009, 05:28 PM

So he'll in the army?

You are still growing and both of you couldn't make up your minds. Long distance relationship is a hard work and has a slim chance of survival. You didn't make things work when you're physically together so how much more when you will be apart.

Better end it. If someday you'll cross paths, then it's destiny.

xenafan2007 · May 13, 2009, 05:44 PM

You he is in the army reserves. Whenever I don't contact him for awhile for even a few days he contacts me...

superk · May 13, 2009, 05:46 PM

You are still young. The world is ahead of you so don't revolve your world into this person. If things will be, it will be.

I wish · May 14, 2009, 06:25 AM

You guys have multiple chances to make this relationship work. Both of you sound like you are in a very fragile state. It's not going to work if only one of you will commit to the relationship.

Don't put your life on hold for a "what if". Maybe one day you will get a real shot with him, but I think you've given each other enough chances. If it was going to work out, you will be together now and not have so many doubts.

talaniman · May 15, 2009, 07:16 AM

For what ever reasons things have not worked and if he gets deployed it may never work.

I suggest you enjoy your life without him. You have already tied up far too much time, without good results.

Sorry, but you both have a lot of growing to do.