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xxiMaADiVaxx · May 12, 2009, 12:26 PM

I've been going out with this guy for like 9 months it's a long distance relationship (he lives an hour so not that far). The problem is he hardly ever communicates with me. We can sometimes go a whole mothe without calling or texting (ridiculous I know!) I can count on two hands the number of times I've talked to him. Whenever we do talk the conversation never lasts long. I've gone to see him a few times and whenever I suggest he come see me he's always busy. What would you do if you were in my situation?:confused:

Justwantfair · May 12, 2009, 12:31 PM

I am not understanding, so do you just get together? How often? For sex?

If you can count on two hands the number of times you have talked to him, how is this a relationship?

Nestorian · May 12, 2009, 12:36 PM

You sound like you want something more and he doesn't want to give it to you, sorry, but as the old saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it."

You are needing more, he seems unwilling to ablige, so move on, as hard as it will be you will find more peace after you do. Focus on you, what you want, Do you love yourself? If not, then how can you expect to have any kind of healthy relationship with any one? Respect yourself, get to know yourself, and go have fun with friends, let this guy find himself as it seems that is what he is doing.

If it's not a give/recieve relationship, then it's not a healthy relationship. You need more then hollow words, and empty hearted promisses. So stand up, and take responsibility for yourself and say good bye to him, even if he says he'll change, as words mean nothing at this point.

Peace be with you

pathisfer · May 12, 2009, 12:44 PM

If I had only spoken to someone I'd never met less than a handful of times over the course of about a year, I probably would have trouble remembering their name, let alone consider them my boyfriend! If I explained this to anyone I knew that it was a 'relationship', my friends would probably tell me I lived in La La Land.
Perhaps you left out some important info like spending weekends together, talking for hours on the phone, him taking you out to dinner, driving to see you regularly? Please update.

xxiMaADiVaxx · May 12, 2009, 03:39 PM

Thank you guys for your responses.

No were never spend hours on the phone because he's either going out or he's too tired, and yes I have only seen him a few times. I wouldn't say the relationship is based on sex because we've only slept together a few times. Its really frustrating because I like him a lot and I really want this to work

xxiMaADiVaxx · May 13, 2009, 07:12 PM

I like him a lot what should I do?

superk · May 13, 2009, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by xxiMaADiVaxx

yes i have only seen him a few times. I wouldn't say the relationship is based on sex because we've only slept together a few times.

Few times in 9 months and you once even went for a month w/o communication?

Stop having sex with him whenever you see unless relationship is already on the next level. Tell him what do you want and if you won't be on the same page then say buh bye.

Justwantfair · May 13, 2009, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by xxiMaADiVaxx

Thank u guys for your responses.

No were never spend hours on the phone because he's either going out or he's too tired, and yes i have only seen him a few times. I wouldn't say the relationship is based on sex because we've only slept together a few times. Its really frustrating because i like him a lot and i really want this to work

That says a lot right there.

You sound like you are being used.

Nestorian · May 13, 2009, 10:43 PM

Originally Posted by xxiMaADiVaxx

i like him a lot what should i do??

Try not to let your feelings cloud your judgment, be mindful of who you are what your values are and what that means to you. It's hard we know this, especially when you feel so happy when you are with him, but you have a choice take responsibility for your feelings and talk to him, if he doenst' agree then let him go; or suffer longer and let responsibility for your feelings lie in his hands... The choice is yours.

Peace and kindness be with you.

Gemini54 · May 13, 2009, 11:14 PM

He's using you and you don't actually know him well enough to really like him, you just want him to like you.

The lack of communication on his part tells you exactly where you stand. He's not interested - sadly, you're probably a booty call.

Ditch him. Find some self respect and find some one that lives closer.

Dare81 · May 14, 2009, 02:10 AM

I wouldn't even call this a relationship, u two are acting like distant friends