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martina59 · May 12, 2009, 04:33 PM

A very good friend just confided in me that he & his wife are separating. He's been confiding in me about their marital problems off and on for over 3 years. My husband and I are both friends of his, but because he's asked me to keep his situation confidential, I've honored that request. Because I don't like keeping anything from my husband, and I also don't want to betray a confidence, should I continue to say nothing, or should I break my promise, and share this with my husband?

Fr_Chuck · May 12, 2009, 05:59 PM

Since this is a male friend and you are talking with them about his marriage issues, your husband should be part of this disucssion.

IWHO · May 12, 2009, 06:03 PM

In my opinion, your loyalty should lie with your husband... I would NEVER keep anything from him... he is your PARTNER for life!

liz28 · May 12, 2009, 06:43 PM

Since the two of you are friends with this guy wouldn't he find out anyway? I am pretty sure sooner or later he is going see the wife isn't in the picture and going question him about him.

Getting a divorce nor separating from your wife isn't a big secret. At least not to me.

If you want to tell your husband all you have to say is "I heard _____ was seperating from his wife."

Teya · May 13, 2009, 10:54 AM

Of course you have to tell him, I blv that there shouldn't be secrets between married people! He's your partner for life..
Tell him because as they said he will know sooner or later,

IWHO · May 13, 2009, 09:11 PM

If your husband finds out that you knew about this and didn't tell him, he may lose respect for you. My husband did this to me, and I felt like he placed his friend over me, his wife. That act hurt me and I have never forgotten that.

jenniepepsi · May 13, 2009, 10:01 PM

Tell your husband. And tell him that you are telling him in confidance that he will NOT go blabing his mouth all over town.

Honesty with your husband must come before ALL else.

Silver Lining · May 14, 2009, 02:55 AM

I agree with everyone above,, better tell your hubby about it,, I wouldn like it if ma hubby keeps secrets with me,, it'd hurt me,, n its absolutely impossible for me to keep secrets from him,, no matter what it is,,

Husband and wife are like 2 bodies with 1 soul,, tell him,,

Rich11111 · May 14, 2009, 09:23 AM

I personally think it is okay to keep a secret from your spouse If the secret belongs to someone else, and only if whatever it is doesn't affect your spouse.
However I would tell your husband in this scenario because someone separating isn't really a big secret, and you and this man talking a lot in private could give the wrong impression.

Gemini54 · May 14, 2009, 08:31 PM

Why don't you ask him if it's OK to tell your husband?

I do think that it's great to honour a confidence, but generally, partners are exceptions to the rule.

If this guy is such a good friend, then you should have no problem asking him this question.

martina59 · May 17, 2009, 09:57 AM

Thank you everyone who weighed in on this w/your opinions. I did tell my husband, and trust him completely to keep the confidence I shared with him... He's super trustworthy! I definitely feel a lot better, and all of you were right... coming down to our friend or my husband, my husband wins hands down!