[annxxdisaster]

Hmm, no. Because the whole comment in itself is just b.s. Just a very easy cop-out for whatever other emotions... problems... etc there were.

I know HE didn't say that and you did, but regardless. It's just a cliché comment that is masking up true feelings and emotions--whatever they may be. Heck, even just googling the comment just shows you it's a simple mechanism for hiding other things.

That's not how I move on. He can love me for as long as he lives, I'm moving on right now. I'll be OVER him when I am good and ready to personally let go of my feelings for him.

[ajGambino]

Do not come in the forums asking and venting to us about your relationship only to talk back and throw down life lessons, giving a speech about how you'll be over him when you're good and ready. If you're not here for advise, what are you here for then?

The reason I said the 'he loves you but isn't IN love with you' is because that's how it is. He cares for you (loves you) but does not want to be with you (not IN love with you). This happens sometimes, especailly when you guys are young, and you two are definitely young. You think it's BS because you don't want to face some facts, even though you said you are moving on, the correct images in your head aren't even visible right now.

Either way it's good to see that you're willing to move on. Stay positive and be there for yourself.

[annxxdisaster]

I think I can come into the forums and work through my problem whichever way I see fit. That's why I came to this forum, to work through it and get the input of others.

AND biologically speaking, expecting to have that 'spark' forever is not going to happen. Your brain isn't made to release that much dopamine, so yea every relationship is going to lose the 'spark' at some point earlier, rather than later in the relationship.

So it's not because I'm unwilling to face the facts that I don't believe someone can just fall in and out of love like that, it's because I personally don't believe that it can happen.
Would you be telling me the same thing if I was saying you were wrong because I knew it was God's plan to bring us back together?

[talaniman]

AND biologically speaking, expecting to have that 'spark' forever is not going to happen.

That should let you know it takes more than "sparks" to make a relationship, that lasts.

Your brain isn't made to release that much dopamine, so yea every relationship is going to lose the 'spark' at some point earlier, rather than later in the relationship.

All humans are capable of highs, and lows. How you cope with it is what's important.

So it's not because I'm unwilling to face the facts that I don't believe someone can just fall in and out of love like that, it's because I personally don't believe that it can happen.

Us humans are very capable of changing our minds and for whatever reasons bring about those changes, it does happen. Just because its never happened to you doesn't mean it doesn't exist. When it does happen, you will have first hand personal experience (knowledge) and not just belief.

Would you be telling me the same thing if I was saying you were wrong because I knew it was God's plan to bring us back together?

Yes I would, because I have a lot of first hand personal experience that I can form an opinion on.

I don't BELIEVE, you know what God has planned for you, at this stage in your life, because then you would know what to do.

I can go along with God putting you here, with us, to help you on your journey, through the mysteries of life.

I'll be OVER him when I am good and ready to personally let go of my feelings for him.

Your right about that, as you're the only one that can say when your ready for anything.

[annxxdisaster]

I don't believe in God personally. And I was referring to the person that said I don't believe you can fall in and out of love simply because I was refusing to 'face the facts'.

I didn't make up my mind one day and decide, hey! I think I may love this man. I didn't make the conscious decision to fall in love with him, so I don't think that you can just the same wake up and no longer be in love with someone simply by choice.

And I wasn't trying to argue about the idea that you need more than a 'spark' to make a relationship grow and continue to prosper--there are just many people that relate the idea of love, and the only way to know you're in love is with that 'spark'. Which isn't realistic or even possible. Which is where the whole, 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' thing comes from in some instances.

Which is definitely opposite from what he's said to me and what he's been doing. That's completely besides the point, but still.

I guess I don't really take these forums seriously any more, while yes, they offer new insights from people who could care less about how I feel about what they say to me and may give me different perspectives--I realized that I'm not going to take anything any of you said to heart because I'm going to to whatever I feel is right for me. Not only that, but none of you know who I am as a person and the same goes for who he is as a person.

If this is really over, I'm going to learn it the hard way instead of giving up because some faceless people told me it was hopeless--which is may very well be. I'm not trying to sound unappreciative, because it did help. I just simply woke up one day and understood that no matter what advice I try to seek out on the internet is going to get it into my head that I don't have a chance or solve my problems. Aha, I need to do it through actually living it out and seeing what happens.

[talaniman]

I for one understand your point, we are just trying to save you some of the knock upside your head, that we have had, is all.

Your life is always yours to lead, any way you see fit.

[annxxdisaster]

I understand.

But who's to say that it will be?

I'm trying not to expect any specific outcome, I've just given up on too many things already.

[liz28]

I guess the only thing for you to do is wait for the outcome you want since your going do what you want.

I read the responses and nobody was mean to you. It just wasn't what you wanted to hear which is cool. Many people like to hear what they want.

My grandmother use to tell me that "A smart man learn from their mistakes but a wise man learn from other people mistakes".

Best of Luck!