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wengskie19 · May 12, 2009, 09:08 AM

... last time I ask my boyfriend and we finished our contract we went home in our respective courty I'm in philippines and he's in india,, after 2 days being away from each for almost 2 years relationship he schocked me that he's going to get married and everything were settle for not being 1 week away from each other, I feel a big rejection and betrayal for that.. im trying to move on now because I know he made his choice to marry somebody that I know he'll be happy maybe... but now after 12 days of marriage he mailed me saying he's not happy at all and he's regreting for deciding too fast for marriage... now he's telling me that he's not happy as he was happy w/ me, and I'm the one he's thinking when he's making love to his wife... hes asking forgivenesss for everything he did and telling he's not happy at all... now I'm confuse I feel he's lying or making story because maybe soon will be working in the same ship we might see each other and he'll use me to be his partner for just a contract affair.. I can't trust him at all but still I feel love for him... but do you all think he's telling the truth that he's not happy at all?

talaniman · May 12, 2009, 12:31 PM

NO! It really doesn't matter as he is the one getting married and you're the one who has a choice of being his booty call. Your choice, but I'm sure he will love being married AND have a chick on the side.

Don't be stupid enough to put yourself in that position.

Justwantfair · May 12, 2009, 12:34 PM

Who cares if he is happy?

He had a choice, he made the choice to get married. He didn't choose to wait or marry you. Now that he is married - HE IS NOT AVAILABLE, unhappy or miserable - that really doesn't matter.

Time to make yourself happy, he is not a part of that.

roxypox · May 12, 2009, 01:47 PM

I agree with tal and just

Who cares if he's happy?? ??

The thing that should matter to you is that you're happy!

with that said:

1. He chose to marry someone else (not you)
2. If he realizes now that he was happier with you then he is with her: that was his own choice, and he has to deal with it!
3. Why have an affair with him and let him use you?
4. HE is NOT available! Read: he is actually someone else's husband, and even though you might still love him, even though you might even want him back in some way... he is NOT yours for the taking. How would you feel if he was your husband and his x girlfriend started sleeping with him?

wengskie19 · May 12, 2009, 10:23 PM

Threads merged.

But his marriage was chosen by his parents as it is his culture of marriage is fixed according to matchmaking... I told him before the marriage when I'm trying to stop everything how he can say yes for that marriage when we both know that we love each other... he said its not on his at all to take it back he said I didn't ask anything before about both of us to settle ,of course on my side I'm still a woman and I'm still waiting for him to propose to me but still till we end the contract he didn't say anything at all... now he's telling he seen his parents and family were happy for finding the girl for him he made the choice to have the girl to marry not being w/ that girl for long when he met only the girl when they settle the date to get marry and the day of the marriage ,he choose this girl to marry because of his family choice and hapiness, in away I understand him that he can't choose me because of big differences.. he also told me before marriage in their country life and culture is different that he thought I can't survive... he might hurting also for what happen to him w/ his culture he needs to obey his parents or he'll be curse and I cannot be accepted by his family as I'm different from him... I don't know if he's really telling the truth that he's not happy and regreting for deciding to fast to marry... do you all think that he really love his wife now?/does he enjoing making love w/ the wife when he told me when he's making love w/ the wife I'm the one he's thinking... he want to see me and hug me and he even want to ask for forgiveness for he did when he said he know for himself that he didn't betray me at all... should I believe w/ him? Am I still that he love even he's start making love w/ other woman w/c is his wife... what should I do to make understand everything??

Sahi444 · May 12, 2009, 10:36 PM

After your words. This guy seems to be Indian . Being an Indian. I know the concept of love here is bound by many meamingless morals. If he thinks of his family's happiness as being superior to yours, I think you should move for dat's exactly what he did innit?

Sahi444 · May 12, 2009, 10:40 PM

I am sorry I mistook the Q slightly If it was his own choice then he has every right to feel sorry for it .U should move on .U don't need to be a backup plan for him

talaniman · May 12, 2009, 10:46 PM

Get him out of your life, and get your own. Hey you fell in love with the wrong guy and now he is going with his parents/and his culture so you just have to get your act together and accept he is with someone else whether he loves her or not, I mean what else can you do but go on with your life? I know it hurts but, honestly, its not under your control any more, and never was. Hurts I know.

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wengskie19 · May 13, 2009, 03:01 AM

It might be easy to say for evevrybody to say move and start a new life when all my life rounds w/ him... after the day of his marriage I tried myself to move on as I can't do anything at all... but he confuse me now that he regret and so sorry for what he decided too fast, after 12 days of marriage he's not happy at all... his telling that I'm his thought every time.. he wants to see me and hug me ,and even making love to his wife I'm the one he's thingking of him.. I don't want to be bad but the truth I was the one that he love before his wife and now he married and being the wife I'm still the one he wanted... only erything is too late for they are bound to be married,not his choice his parents he just said yes because of the happiness and culture of him... we have the right to love one another, it doesn't mean he got married he doesn't mean he's not loving me at all.. I know it hurts a lot that our relationship ends like that... but what if in time in future he comes back and made the right choice to be with me, should I go for it,, Is it in indian culture fixed marriage works well and last forver.. is there a fixed marriage that when he's not happy at all it can go on..?

talaniman · May 13, 2009, 06:06 AM

It might be easy to say for evevrybody to say move and start a new life when all my life rounds w/ him...

Yes, its easy to say that, as the doing is a long painful process, that we have all done. We had to. So do you.

Romefalls19 · May 13, 2009, 06:46 AM

It's a painful process, but the most rewarding one as you can find someone that loves you, and only you.

Sorry but this guy is true to the old saying "you've made your bed, so sleep in it"