[mfarrell30]

I lived with a woman for 3.5 years. She had 3 kids and I had one. We were very in love. Her oldest boy never accepted me and finally things got bad. She protected her son and said she had to move out for everyone's sake. Well its been 5 months and we still talk and see each other a little but nothing serious. Within the last two months, She came back twice wanting to start over slowly but then after 4 days, a wall went up. She told me her son called her names when we got together for ice cream with the other three kids and she has a hard time fighting this fight. Tell me what to do? How can I get to talk to her oldest boy? I'm sure its her oldest boy that's stopping us again and yes she is a very good mom. What can I say to her and what can I say to The oldest boy.. The three other kids would love us back together

[liz28]

How old is her son?

Have the two you tried talking to him together? Have you tried talking to him in the past?

Btw, where is her kids father? Is he in the picture or not?

[mfarrell30]

To follow up on my last question.. The oldest boy is 15 now and he really has never accepted me. Shel did try to speak with him already and she thought it went OK but since then every time I spent time with the two little ones and their mom, he would get upset. His father is now involved more than ever since we moved apart with her being more cordial to him for the kids sake. I've asked to talk to him(the son), the father who at first badmouthed me etc. How could I open lines of communication even if we aren't together. Any advice will help because my ex may be giving up. I know if that's meant to be it may be meant to be

[talaniman]

mfarrell30, If you scroll down further,
Answer this Question box/ or the "Answer this Question" tab, in orange, at the bottom,
there is a place to respond to the others of this thread, as its not necessary to start a new question.

Having said that, you may have to go along with the program for now, unless she is willing to let you talk to the older son, or let you, and her ex talk, and maybe work together. (highly doubt that though, as she probably does too!)

I think one thing that's going on is he is siding with his father, and wants his mom and dad to get back together, which is understandable, but makes you the obstacle to that happening.

I think it will come down to patience on your part, as this family works out its own differences. If it is meant to work it will, and you have to trust in that, and step aside and let it.

Don't let your fears that she is giving up, make you impulsive, or desperate, just stay supportive as to what she is going through, and positive.