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Dallasboy · May 7, 2009, 10:34 AM

My girlfriends of a year have been trying to work out our problems we've been some what broken up awhile trying to work things out. I had been having allot of fights with my ex wife over some decision she was making with our kids, and my GF was there to help me through all that.( mind you this s going on while we're trying to work on us). Well there's a trip I take every year and it just so happens it's the weekend of her birthday. I told her she could go and I would take her on another trip in a few weeks for her birthday. Well she got mad saying that this day should only be about her since she has been the one there for me through my mess in my life. Well she upgraded the status of our break up to totally being broken up and free to see other people. I have not spoken to her in three days. I haven't called or txt, emailed her neither has she. I want to call her but I don't know if I should just give her some space. I'm afraid of losing her I know she loves me. What can I do?

liz28 · May 7, 2009, 10:42 AM

Your girlfriend most likely wanted to break-up with you before the blow up over the trip. She just use that incident to her advantage as an excuse for breaking up with you.

It seems like she has moved on if she is already back on the dating site. That just further proves that what I wrote is true.

Time for you to take her lead and move on.

Dallasboy · May 7, 2009, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by liz28

Your girlfriend most likely wanted to break-up with you before the blow up over the trip. She just use that incident to her advantage as an excuse for breaking up with you.

It seems like she has moved on if she is already back on the dating site. That just further proves that what I wrote is true.

Time for you to take her lead and move on.

Liz she say's that she has no intention on starting a new relationship anytime soon. I do believe her she'd never lied to me in the past.

Silverfoxkit · May 7, 2009, 11:03 AM

All that you can do is just give her space and prepare yourself for a total separation. Treat this like you would any other break up. Don't text her, or call her, or email her. She's telling you not to wait for her by saying you should date other people. This really is not a good sign that she will come back.

Liz may be right and this was just the final nail in the coffin.

.

kctiger · May 7, 2009, 11:36 AM

You really just have to give her what she wants. Life doesn't stop just because your girlfriend breaks up with you. She knows that, and you need to know that. Sorry for your loss, but I suspect she has known what she wanted to do for awhile. People RARELY just break up on a whim. It is usually premeditated.

Romefalls19 · May 7, 2009, 11:48 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

You really just have to give her what she wants. Life doesn't stop just because your girlfriend breaks up with you. She knows that, and you need to know that. Sorry for your loss, but I suspect she has known what she wanted to do for awhile. People RARELY just break up on a whim. It is usually premeditated.

WHAT! Life doesn't stop when your spouse breaks up with you? Um, how do you know!

Kc is right, life goes on, you will meet new people as will see, it's called moving on.

Triysle · May 7, 2009, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by Dallasboy

Liz she say's that she has no intention on starting a new relationship anytime soon. I do belive her she'd never lied to me in the past.

She has no intention, but that doesn't mean she won't take an opportunity.

Move on, man. No one decides to break up over just one incident, and frankly if they do then they weren't worth your time in the first place. Give her the space to figure out what she wants, and in the meantime figure out what YOU want.

~ Tee

liz28 · May 7, 2009, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by Triysle

She has no intention, but that doesn't mean she won't take an opportunity.

Move on, man. No one decides to break up over just one incident, and frankly if they do then they weren't worth your time in the first place. Give her the space to figure out what she wants, and in the meantime figure out what YOU want.

~ Tee

Had to spread the rep but your dead right.

Dallasboy you wrote and I quote ". Well she upgraded the status of our break up to totally being broken up and free to see other people." The relationship that the two of you had is over right now therefore she is free to do whatever she wants.

You stated she has never lied to you but I must tell you to never put nothing pass no one. I bet you never thought she would end things with you?

Your best option right now is to move on and not to live on false hope.

talaniman · May 8, 2009, 08:03 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/divorc...ds-331201.html

She has had enough, and is gone. You have enough to keep you busy just keeping it real with your own kids. Be glad she was there to support you, but let her go, and get her own happiness.

My girlfriends of a year

You should take a lot of time to heal from your divorce, as you have just started to stop sleeping with her(?), so actually you were cheating on this female with your ex.

Sorry for your loss.

joshdom · May 8, 2009, 07:44 PM

Decide how much you want this to work then call her. She should not be using her support for you as a sword though. If you really want it to work then you can, but if this trip is important to you, then stand your ground. Yes she has been there for you but it doesn't mean you're her slave. You can repay her when she needs support

Dallasboy · Jun 15, 2009, 09:09 AM

Threads merged and edited

Right now our status is broken up. But I picked her daughter up this week while she was at work. We spent the weekend together, and I'm thinking all is fine, but when I ask her what does she really want she tells me that she wants it to work, but there was a lot of damage done. I asked her was we working it out, and she never gives a direct answer. I told her that if her heart was not in to it anymore to tell me now. I would rather be hurt now than later. This was her response.

( I don't know, I've really said all I had to say. I would be lying if I said my heart was all in anymore)

So I responed we've reached the fork in the road. One way we walk together, and the other way we walk alone. She responded (we'll talk about it later.)

I'm confused I love her so much. She say's she loves me to. I'm mean even though we been broken up we still hang out. We still do things with her kid and my kids but I can never get a straight answer in what she really wants. One minute she what's it next minute she doesn't what should I do? Should I give up on what I think is the love of my life

AmandaLynn1288 · Jun 15, 2009, 10:15 AM

My advice, as a female, would be to just give her time to figure things out. This kind of thing is really hard, and she needs to be 100% sure of what she wants before she makes a decision. Keep doing things as you are, but don't push her to make decision. She will tell you when she's ready.

talaniman · Jun 15, 2009, 01:29 PM

Should I give up on what I think is the love of my life

You thought that with your ex didn't you? Of course you did. That didn't work. Now your having the same thoughts, and are confused because she is. Back up, and explore and try to understand why she is confused and not just see things through the baggage of your own past.

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What if she has baggage too? For sure she is afraid, and rightfully so, of giving you all you want. Go slow and just be the good guy you are and show thru actions and not just words she can trust you with her heart. What's your hurry for an official bf/gf title.

Recognize you have a lot of work to do, and do it with patients as pushing will not get you what you want, a healthy adult relationship.

Work with her, not on her.