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odilians10 · Feb 8, 2009, 08:05 AM

I understand that but she's worried about not being able to have a child and does not believe in having a child outside marriage and age is not on her side either. She loves him a whole lot and wants to work away but don't want to make the wrong decision becos he's not telling her anything. She is giving him until this may to tell her something or anything... she is not forcing him but just wants an honest ans from him and if he is not ready for a comittment she is ready to move on with her life.

odilians10 · Feb 8, 2009, 08:06 AM

Is there a way to ask for an honest answer without the man feeling pressurized??

talaniman · Feb 8, 2009, 08:09 AM

After 7 years she has her answer. She just hasn't accepted it.

neverme · Feb 8, 2009, 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by odilians10

she is giving him until this may to tell her something or anything....

No she's not! It started as January, then February.. now May!

She's not going to leave him, she is just trying to get her MRS. She is forcing him into it, well she's trying to but it's not working..

Justwantfair · Feb 8, 2009, 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by odilians10

i understand that but she's worried about not being able to have a child and does not believe in having a child outside marriage and age is not on her side either. she loves him a whole lot and wants to work away but dont want to make the wrong decision becos he's not telling her anything. she is giving him until this may to tell her something or anything....she is not forcing him but just wants an honest ans from him and if he is not ready for a comittment she is ready to move on with her life.

You are very concerned for your friend, but the facts are he is not ready/doesn't want a marriage. It doesn't matter what his age is and there is a reason he made it so late in life without marrying.

SHE has to make this decision - ACCEPT just the way it is, no guarantee of children, no marriage or LEAVE and risk being single with no guarantee of children, no guarantee of marriage.

If she is unwilling to compromise having children out of wedlock, why does she expect that he should compromise for a marriage that he doesn't want?

So if she is ready to move on like you claim, she needs to do that, he will either appreciate what he lost and step up to the plate or he won't and she is free to find love somewhere else.

odilians10 · Feb 9, 2009, 06:59 AM

Hi everyone, I think I need help! I'm going through the phase where I miss my ex this morning I've a test tomorrow and I can't concentrate...

kctiger · Feb 9, 2009, 07:01 AM

Pull through it. Your future is more important than your ex. Go for a long walk, cry it out, and get back to work.

Take my hand, and let's roll!!

odilians10 · Feb 9, 2009, 07:33 AM

Thanks KC, you are the best, I feel better back in the mood to hit the books... :) I was very close to texting, glad I didn't

odilians10 · Feb 15, 2009, 08:34 PM

I don't understand my ex boyfriend of 3yrs, we decided it wasn't working out so we broke up in July 08' but decided to stay friends and I even talked to him about my new ex boyfriend which he asked me a few questions about the new guy, all of a sudden I try to contact him every once in a while but he never responds. He was my first everything, though I've moved on I still care about him and want him some where in my life and don't understand why he's ignoring me... do any one have an idea

Alty · Feb 15, 2009, 08:39 PM

Originally Posted by odilians10

i dont understand my ex bf of 3yrs, we decided it wasnt working out so we broke up in july 08' but decided to stay friends and i even talked to him about my new ex bf which he asked me a few questions about the new guy, all of a sudden i try to contact him every once in a while but he never responds. he was my first everything, tho i've moved on i stil care about him and want him some where in my life and dont understand why he's ignoring me....do any one have an idea

Not all exes can be friends, in fact, it's not the norm for exes to be friends.

Maybe he's decided that you need him too much, that it's not healthy in order for him to be able to move on, find someone new, live his life.

Maybe he's busy.

Maybe he has a new girlfriend and she's not comfortable with him talking to his ex.

So many possibilites. Sorry, but if he's doing NC you're just going to have to accept it and move on.

Good luck.

odilians10 · Feb 15, 2009, 08:44 PM

Thanks alt, it sucks & I just want to scream!! I wish my exes can be my friends ill be so happy, I've not contacted him in a few months but today was my last contact w/him, I sent him a text wishing him well...

odilians10 · May 6, 2009, 12:08 PM

I've been dating a guy for over 2months and we had everything in common, it's a long dist relationship since I'm away for sch, but we found out we had the sickle cell trait and everything has gone wrong for the fast 2 weeks, he said he cares about me so much but the relationship is not going to work due to the genotype fact. It has been so hard for either of us to let go, he wants us to be friends and find out what happens in the future, but I'm not too sure if I can handle friendship with him, becos he treats me soooo good. I ended the friendship or whateva it was, by texting him very very mean things just to hurt his feeling just like he did mine, 2days later I realized that what I said was too mean and immature, I texted him to apologize and asked that we end it in a more mature and in good term, but he ignored my text of course. I know he is hurt by the things I said but I need help on how to handle this issue or just let him be. I really care about him but I over reacted on something either of us have no control over... what should I do??

JTS31708 · May 6, 2009, 12:14 PM

You said you already apologized for what you said so just leave him alone and go NC until one of you are ready to talk again, but in the mean time heal yourself by going out and do things with friends, family, etc.

I wish · May 6, 2009, 01:01 PM

You're not ready for a friendship with him. Don't try to force a friendship when that's not what you really want.

It's too late now, but in the future: "If you have nothing good to say, then don't say anything at all"

StNerevar · May 6, 2009, 01:24 PM

At least you realized that what you did was immature. In time he may realize that it was something dumb too, and may want to end on a better note. Til then just take your time to heal and let him do the same.

liz28 · May 6, 2009, 03:35 PM

Now you move on because there is nothing left for you to do. You said your peace and now that's it.

Hopefully, you learned your lesson and would say anything harsh to someone in the future just because you want to hurt their feelings.

Once something leave your mouth you can take it back and it is hard to take your foot out your a$$.

odilians10 · May 6, 2009, 04:10 PM

I've been restless all day... I can't go hang out becos I've a test to study for and my mind is just clouded with the thought that he might never speak to me again... he is such a great guy and I want him in my life and don't know how to handle it

liz28 · May 6, 2009, 04:22 PM

Even if he was in your life he would have only been your friend and some how I don't think you could settle with just being his friend.

So you need to work on getting past him and accepting the relationship you two had is over. So let go and move on.

talaniman · May 7, 2009, 10:39 AM

I doubt you have healed from the last relationship, so jumping into a long distance one, didn't work. Time for you to do things for you, as you learn and grow and I hope you find happiness with who you are.

You have a lot to offer the right person, and that happens to be you right now.

odilians10 · May 7, 2009, 02:05 PM

Thanks tal, he's such a wonderful guy though, I'm so scared to loose this one... we have so much in common and we are same age and I've never had that in any guy yet...