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letmeknowtruth · May 3, 2009, 09:10 AM

Well, I ended things lastnight... She pulled the same disrespectful and inconsiderate crap again. She must have txted me about 25 times lastnight. I didn't respond for a little and I actually think she drove by my house real slow to see if I was home. I answered her and told her I was going out. She was asking "Where, with who, when will you be home, are you staying over night?" I said I don't know. Then she said "Well can I see you later?" I said I don't know maybe. Then she said well call me please OK? Can you please call me? Make sure you call me. I had a good time with my friends and I called her when I got home, she didn't pick up. She text me and said "I'm sorry, im not at home. Then she called. I asked her if she was coming over to talk and she said I dont know, im at my neighbors and Ive been drinking. If I can't come over I can't come over. At that point I said "All right I'm done... dont call me or text me. Goodbye!" I haven't answered her last 8 text messages. I'm guessing I did the right thing?

Wondergirl · May 3, 2009, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by letmeknowtruth

I'm guessing I did the right thing?

I'm very proud of you! Please stick to NC, even if she shows up at your door--close it in her face.

letmeknowtruth · May 3, 2009, 12:43 PM

Haha, yeah... she actually just txt me now saying "I know you told me not to text you, but I just want you to know I'm sorry"
It's hard not to txt her back, but I'm staying strong

Wondergirl · May 3, 2009, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by letmeknowtruth

haha, yeah....she actually just txt me now saying "I know you told me not to text you, but I just want you to know I'm sorry"
It's hard not to txt her back, but I'm staying strong

DO NOT communicate with her. NC NC NC NC NC!!

chuff · May 3, 2009, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by letmeknowtruth

haha, yeah....she actually just txt me now saying "I know you told me not to text you, but I just want you to know I'm sorry"
It's hard not to txt her back, but I'm staying strong

Can you set your phone up to refuse text messages from her?

IWHO · May 3, 2009, 02:44 PM

Ok, I finally got through all the answers and info... YOU are too good for this, and I use the phrase lightly, "woman"... find yourself someone else... there are a LOT of good ones out there just waiting for a man like you... sure, you will have to weed them out, but that will make finding the RIGHT one that much better... I am also proud of you getting rid of her... stay strong... move on... and by the way, love is a wonderful thing... if it doesn't feel good, it isn't love... and love isn't hard... it's a one way street that you travel down together... if you have to pull the other one along... it's not love... and it's not worth it...

letmeknowtruth · May 3, 2009, 02:44 PM

No, I can't. Wish I could. I'm staying strong... I'm not going to give in! Thanks a lot everyone. You all help out a lot!

phiverson · May 3, 2009, 02:49 PM

Truth, I know how hard it must be for you to not answer her calls & texts.
There is no right or wrong answers, just what you feel comfortable with.
If you want a relationship full of indecision, indecisiveness, and always having to defend yourself because of her insecurities... then continue on.
If you think you deserve a relationship with someone that's more secure, mature and respects you as a person and a partner, then you need to walk away.
I suspect you'll be dealing with her for a little while longer, just keep your eyes open and try and see her for who she really is, not what you want her to be.
I'm not saying she's a or a bad person, she just has baggage that she needs to leave at the door or she'll live the rest of her life expecting other people to right the wrongs that she or someone else are responsible for. They're not your wrongs.
You seem like a nice guy, don't waste your love on someone that doesn't appreciate it. You could turn into her...

Wondergirl · May 3, 2009, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by letmeknowtruth

No, I can't. Wish I could. I'm staying strong...I'm not gonna give in! Thanks alot everyone. You all help out alot!

We're all depending on you to stay strong. We will be very angry with you if you give in. Don't forget that! (We may even have to ground you... )

Survivor07 · May 3, 2009, 03:40 PM

You did and are doing the right thing.

Any contact at this point just slows the process down and drags it out...

NC!!

letmeknowtruth · May 3, 2009, 04:52 PM

Haha, she just txt me again! Saying "Hey I'm at dinner and our friend works here now"
Sooo strange.

Wondergirl · May 3, 2009, 04:53 PM

Now you willl text her back. After all, you're her friend.

Survivor07 · May 3, 2009, 05:24 PM

I think she's addicted to texting!! LOL

letmeknowtruth · May 3, 2009, 05:36 PM

Haha, I'm still staying strong with NC!
Yeah Survivor you hit the nail on the head... That's ALL she does. Even when we were together either kissing or just cuddling... She had her phone constantly beside her... ALWAYS texting! I don't understand why she still keeps txting me when I told her to stop

Wondergirl · May 3, 2009, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by letmeknowtruth

I don't understand why she still keeps txting me when I told her to stop

You don't? Hmmmm. If you figured that out, you would do well with NC.

chuff · May 3, 2009, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You don't? Hmmmm. If you figured that out, you would do well with NC.

If only there was a website somewhere with a thread exclusivly for his issue where he could read about it and get the answer. Gosh darn it, maybe some day there will be such a thing.

letmeknowtruth · May 6, 2009, 09:28 AM

Hey... I'm still staying strong with NC! She txt me at least 4-5 times a day. Yesterday it was kind of getting under my skin. She was saying stuff like "Oh, I thought you were a nice guy."
"So that whole nice guy thing was just an act since your not answering me?"
She's making me feel guilty for not answering her. I mean I gave her numerous chances to talk over things in person and she would make excuses non-stop.

talaniman · May 6, 2009, 09:38 AM

Go back and read everything you have written about her then answer this question.

Why are you allowing her to push your buttons?

More importantly, What are you doing about it?

She is doing what she does, because you allow it.

Solution, delete her texts, emails and anything else, unread, and ignore her.

Wondergirl · May 6, 2009, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by letmeknowtruth

Hey...I'm still staying strong with NC! She txt me at least 4-5 times a day. Yesterday it was kinda getting under my skin. She was saying stuff like "Oh, I thought you were a nice guy."
"So that whole nice guy thing was just an act since your not answering me?"
She's making me feel guilty for not answering her. I mean I gave her numerous chances to talk over things in person and she would make excuses non-stop.

She's not making you feel anything. You are ALLOWING yourself to buy into her argument that you SHOULD feel guilty, so you feel guilty because she tells you to feel guilty. Are you her slave that you do what she says and feel how she wants you to feel?

Why are you even READING her texts? Delete them before reading them.

chuff · May 6, 2009, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

She's not making you feel anything. You are ALLOWING yourself to buy into her argument that you SHOULD feel guilty, so you feel guilty because she tells you to feel guilty. Are you her slave that you do what she says and feel how she wants you to feel?

Why are you even READING her texts? Delete them before reading them.

I've encountered this same problem in the past about feeling bad for someone who gives me guilt trips like you ex is doing. One thing I've done to get around this is I ask myself what would the future me of 1 year or 5 years tell the current me. Usually when I ask I get the answer back that is something like, "I don't understand why wasted your time" or "She left your life and it turned it got better so don't wait until later, feel better now." Now this won't cure the blues of the break up, but the point is when you start thinking in those terms it does put some perspective into the current situation and gives yourself permission to move on.

You do not have to feel like you own her anything, including a memory. You choose to do that, and you can choose to move forward.