[melloboi23]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. I feel this is the real thing and I believe that no matter what happens we will work things out and be together forever. But our relationship has been tried by lots of things recently and I need help sorting it out. I know her myspace password and she doesn't know it. This is a bad thing I realize it but I was looking one day and she's having conversations with an ex in Ohio. These are uneasing conversations about all sorts of stuff I don't find appropriate. Well he is a drug addict and he's been to jail several times and now he's out and he's wanting to see her. She's all for the plan and she know how much I hate him. By the way for emphesis I never hate any one but this guy is an exception. Well we live in Tennessee so I don't see a problem with this. But I'm moving to Kentucky for college and she wants to move to Ohio. She tells me all sorts of reasons she wants to move to Ohio but none of them involve him. I do not trust either of them together I want to trust her I really do but she has broken my heart twice and lied multiple times about him. She says she hasn't talked to him in months but I know it isn't true. Ive brought this up before and she got angry that I told her who she could and couldn't talk to but I do not trust him in the slightest. Her moving to Ohio scares the crap out of me but I can't mention it cause then she'll know I've been on her myspace. That's the general story. I wouldn't mind her talking to him if she was honest and if she didn't talk about some of the stuff they talk about. What should I do?

[TrueFaith]

she wants to move to Ohio..

Yeah drop her now man

if you are in a loving relationship you don't plan to meet you drugy boyfriends

I'm sorry but you have false hopes if you think your relationship will last
you know it won't.. that is why you are here.

and secondly.. yeah bad thing rooting in on her personal stuff. But as you have done, it

the odds of her moving to Ohio where her x boyfriend is. And him coming out of jail.

Toooo riskie.. I think you should leave her or you will end up getting even more hurt..


And you don't trust her! Or you would not be looking in her My Space folders. And thinking about this.

So if there is no trust move on

good luck

[starbuck8]

Oh boy! You can't see what is directly in front of your face!

Red Flag #1: She is speaking to her ex, not seeing a problem with hooking up with him, and hasn't told you she's been in contact with him.

Red Flag #2 He has just gotten out of jail, and not for the first time, and she still wants to have contact with him.

Red Flag #3 He's a drug addict, and she doesn't seem to think this is a problem, and still willing to be "friends" with him.

Red Flag #4 You are moving to Kentucky, and she is insisting on moving to Ohio!

Red Flag #5 You feel the need to spy on her! That should tell you right there.

Red Flag #6 You don't trust them together, but you trust her! HUH?

Red Flag #7 She's broken your heart twice in two yrs.

Red Flag #8 She's lied to you "multiple" times

Red Flag #9 She got MAD when you confronted her.

Red Flag #10 ::drumroll:: You wouldn't "mind" her talking to him as long is she is "honest"!!

I haven't seen SO MANY signs to run in the other direction from this girl as fast as you can! Mark my words sweetheart, this girl is playing you like a fiddle! Get out while you still have a little pride!

[LifeChangesMan]

My friend I would let her go, and get rid of that myspace/facebook crap that junk is all drama and bs waiting to happen. I figure if you let her go and explain why after a few days of not talking she's either going to realize what you mean to her and talk to you about it and fix it to coincide with you or she's going to be like F it, and you know how she truly felt about you.

[melloboi23]

Thanks for your advice but I didn't really explain our relationship as well as I could have. We are very committed to each other and we are wanting to move to Ohio any way it is very significant to her. I suggested we save our money while I'm in college I start in June in lexington, and then we move together but she wants to go now.

[Feral Gypsy]

Yeah you guys don't really know the whole situation.

[TrueFaith]

Feral gypsy

what are you his brother? Great words of wisdom there you muppet!

sit down and just hush up yeah ;) good boy..


Now.. back to you Mell..

Yeah so you are defending her.. so I'm not going to waist my time here.
if you can not see the RED FLAGS in front of your face.. then you are doomed.

of course moving to Ohio is significant for her. She is still talking to her X!

but HEY if we don't understand.. then fine.. sorry to have tired..

Phew.. and there I was thinking there was problem between you.. and her

but of course there Isn't.. wow you know I slip into different worlds where I read things.. that are just... not there..

I thought I read Serious Trust issues all around what do I do..

Hmmm that to me.. sounds like you told your story pretty well there chumpo.

[starbuck8]

Yeah you guys don't really know the whole situation.

This is your first post. This isn't my first time at this rodeo! I'm trying to give advice to help out. We deal with the information given to us. We are not mind readers, but in the information given, I could see big red flashing lights in so many areas. People come here for advice. They ask a question, and after answering many many of them, and also having experience in this field, it often doesn't take a lot of info to see what is actually going on. From what was said, it's as clear as the nose on my face.

[melloboi23]

Thank you all for your advice.

[melloboi23]

And feral gyspsy is mine and my girlfriends best friend and I wanted her opinion also.

[Feral Gypsy]

Un yeah guys I'm his friend and her room mate I've known them both for a long time soooo, I kind of know what I'm talking about, thanks. ;)

[talaniman]

What would you tell someone who asked the question you did?

[starbuck8]

un yeah guys im his friend and her room mate i've known them both for a long time soooo, I kind of know what I'm talking about, thanks. ;)

No need to get snippy. We were all trying to help, and point out things that sometimes can't be seen when you are close to the situation. There is a big difference when you are on the outside looking in, than when you are right in the middle.

[Feral Gypsy]

I'll try to keep that in mind. :}

[TrueFaith]

Well look

I can give you a 99.9% thing right now..

No one on this site.. is going to tell you to stay with THIS GIRL.

Unless you get your best friends friend of another friend in here.. and have them advocate themselves..

99.9% of us here

Think you should drop this chick
Work on your own issues.

And try and find a trusting relationship.

Simple as that.

If not.. then stay with her. And stop talking about it.

[starbuck8]

well look

i can give you a 99.9% thing right now..

No one on this site.. is going to tell you to stay with THIS GIRL.

Unless you get your best friends friend of another friend in here.. and have them advocate them selfs..

99.9% of us here

Think you should drop this chick
work on your own issues.

and try and find a trusting relationship.

simple as that.

If not.. then stay with her. and stop talking about it.

I had to spread the rep, but it's as perfectly clear as a snow white day in May! (I don't know if I just made that up... or I've heard it before! Lol)

[friend4u178]

I had to spread the rep, but it's as perfectly clear as a snow white day in May! (I don't know if I just made that up...or I've heard it before! lol)

No Starby
We've been saying "Had to spread the Rep" for ages ;)

[talaniman]

No Trust=No relationship.

[friend4u178]

No Trust=No relationship.

That's my favourite Talaniman Rule!!